When you've Shakespeare your pants.

When the Zug server breaks.

When Trixxie, Pram, Sage, JK@K, Jilly, or Nachos finds out your home address.

When she's pregnant and there are no stairs around.

Last call.

You go to a house to get laid and Chris Hansen is there.

When someone is anally fisting you and they haven't recently trimmed their nails and they scratch your rectum mid-thrust you're allowed to use the word "damn", according to Emily Post.

When you're a grown up.

When you're on the Frost-ing internet (unless you've got swearbot on).

When the glass on your iPhone breaks

When you're married to my wife, and therefore have to live with her.

When you're an Osbourne.


When trying to say "Sun Shine City" three times fast.


When singing The Name Game and the name Chuck comes up.

When Bayan creates another thread.

-when you're awake

Sorry, that should have been...

-When you're Frost-ing awake.

When you had a firm grasp on the #5 ranking on ZUG, then some Emerson kChikita Banana Box pulls a Bayan (saturating ZUG Live with posts/comments in a short period of time) and bumps you back down to #7 where currently you need 72 ZUGZ to move up.

When you discover that you're related to Dick Cheney.

When you have a root canal that goes quite wrong.

While passing a kidney stone.

When the cops pull you over and you still have that dead hooker in the trunk.

When you wake up in the middle of surgery ...



























in someone's basement

When it's just one of those days.

Fat man Shakespeare on a bus.

When you hit a school bus with your brand new car.
Shakespeare"
When one athlete gets 6 months for fighting dogs, another gets 30 days for killing a pedestrian (Hobo's are still human last I checked) and a third gets a pay raise for beating his wife.
"What the Frost?"
When the Government spends 2 Trillion in the last six months and dosen't know where half of it went...and you get a letter from the IRS saying you owe more money.
"Son of a Bitch!"
When you stub your toe.
"Bayan Rabbi"

When those god damn children get on your Frost-ing nerves.


When you have a Shakespearezu.

When you zip up your pants in a hurry, going commando, with a boner, and nothing happens.

When it's Valentine's Day, then your birthday the next day, you have to ask for sex from your live in girlfriend both days, and you still don't get it.

When you wake up from a very surreal sex dream to find the cat(s) purring on your crotch.

...

Maybe these are things to cry about.

When you wake up from a very surreal sex dream to find the cat(s) purring on your crotch.


My boyfriend's cat sleeps on his crotch every night. No wonder he doesn't seem to come around for sex that much.

Chivo: "That mutha Frostin' sac-o Shakespeare Sancho has been Frost-ing my old lady while I'm at work, that Coleridge sucking piece of Shakespeare! When I find him I'm gonna cut his huevos off and shove them down his Frostin' throat!"

Sancho: "Oh...Frost!"

When your puddin' pops are vanilla, and not chocolate.

When you found out Bob Barker is leaving The Price Is Right.

When you realize that most of the GABbers are now on HoB.

When someone mentions HoB.

When you want to ruin someones life and a hex just won't do it.

When you're that scary gypsy from Thinner.

Or drag me to hell.

When you discover that there are, in fact, muthaFrostin snakes, on this muthaFrostin plane.

Your kid's little league baseball game at someone else's kid who got your kid out.

..of the closet.

When you realize that bottle isn't going to come back out on its own.

Millie ma dear,
Why bother the cow when you get the cat for free...?
Explained,
Pubah

I think that's hilarious Froggy.

My son wants your address and the combination to my gun safe, however.

When someone from the internet wants your address and the combination to his Dad's gun cabinet.

When you can't seem to shake #7 on ZUG. Damn it.

When you realize both Frogpop and Mailmail could be referred to as "froggy".

When John ruins GAB.

When Trixxie jumps on your bandwagon.

I don't think that's going to work. If I'm still remembered here, it will be with reverence not distain.

It is not possible to forget Trixxie, no matter how hard I try.

When a guy in a chicken suit jumps on your Hummer.

After 10 hours of hard labor and they say you're still at a 2.

After 20 hours of hard labor and you've only gotten to a 4.

When you break a pickle jar on the kitchen floor and cut your foot, thusly getting pickle juice in your fresh wound. (For KChicki)

After 15 hrs. of hard labor and 3 horrendous hours of pushing; then the nurse uses her hand to lift the cervix over the baby's big fat head. The one above his shoulders!

After 20 hours of her only being at a 4 and you're still trying get the damn pickle jar in there.

After finding out she's a 2 after 3 hours, and having to gnaw your own arm off to get away.

After that 30 second fart you were so proud of starts to itch.

When your mother (who doesn't have the sveltest of figures) turns up infront of your new boyfriend wearing only underwear.

When you type out the most cutting text message about a friend that you're not particually fond of and then accidentally send it to them

When a horse kicks you in the leg.

When somebody picks up a scalding hot pan and says 'Frost-ing Shakespeare Frost bollocks' throwing the pan away into your awaiting arms.

It's a bit like a swearing contest.

When my computer IT department decides that I need to work harder and they block me from ZUG!

When you realize that the United States Government is actually in control of almost everything that happens on the face of the planet.

When you're on ZUG at 4:32am CDT.

When you have to measure your life with CDT.

When you turn on the TV after working all day and find Micheal Jackson programming on every damn channel again for the 7th day straight!!!!

The local news keeps breaking in during the final episode of the season to warn you of the storm that is approaching your area...

When the President is on TV (again) telling the nation of his next great plan to take another of our freedoms from us!!!!

When the President is on TV (again) telling the nation of his next great plan to take another of our freedoms from us!!!!

We don't have to worry much about this one anymore since Bush is no longer president.

- when your son asks you what a swear word is

- when repeating george carlin

When someone farts toxic waste in a closed door elevator and then acts like it's not them.

When you go to the ladies restroom and some animal pig vomit craps all over the bowl, like there butt is as big as two ton sally and they couldn't get it in the bowl.


When you go to a fast food place after a hangover and the stupid server doesn't give you the bottom part of the hamburger bun, but you have already drove away and the line is around the corner even if you wanted to go back and scream.

about a friend that you're not particually fond of

One of us is not clear on the definition of friend.

When a nut hair and a thigh hair get tied in a knot.

That one can also be filed under "Things that hurt like a bitch".

The local news keeps breaking in during the final episode of the season to warn you of the storm Michael Jackson funeral that is approaching your area...

When you go to the ladies restroom and some animal pig vomit craps all over the bowl, like there butt is as big as two ton sally and they couldn't get it in the bowl.

I didn't know barns have restrooms...

Barn=no bathroom

People=treat like they live in barn

pig vomit= disgusting people that crap all over place

When some dickless Emerson steals your Shakespeare out of your car while you're dropping your kid off at daycare.

When some whine ass won't shut up about her stolen purse.
Look at it this way, at least he didn't steal your Shakespeare, then hid in you trunk to "give it back to you" once you got home.



P.S., please unlock your trunk, no particular reason.

When you are changing the broken tires on your fat grandfather's electric wheelchair. When you go to lean the 300lb chair back onto the wheels, it catches it own weight and the armrest snags your hand and slams it against the wall, completely crushing your middle finger. Then you jump up and down screaming while your hand is stuck while your father inside the house. He then comes outside to the sound of your cursing and frees your hand. You then proceed to hop around the yard like Tigger on speed swearing on each and every return bounce.

Also, for two weeks, waking up once a night swearing because you rolled over onto the crushed finger.

\Funny looking back on it now

Kchiki, how did you know he was dickless? I hope you gave this information to the police!

When you have Shakespeare your pants and a cop is about to pull you over for speeding.

When you reach into the oven and forget to put gloves on to take a hot pan out.

When your babysitting someone's baby and you drop him on his head.

When you have Shakespeare your pants and a cop is about to pull you over for speeding.

When you reach into the oven and forget to put gloves on to take a hot pan out.

When your babysitting someone's baby and you drop him on his head.

When you post something twice and it's still not funny.

Oh I though it would help. Thanks for the kind advice have you ever thought of using nair?

Well, my nipples feel like I've been walking around with bullet ants in my shirt all day, but they're smooth! Thanks Anna!

Well, my nipples feel like I've been walking around with bullet ants in my shirt all day, but they're smooth! Thanks Anna!

After you proudly fart, when it starts to stink so bad that even YOU can't stand it.

When you're masturbating and the doorbell rings.

When you're Shakespeare-ing and the phone rings.

When you figure out the person you're talking to on the phone is Shakespeare-ing.

When you're pissing and someone comes up behind you and scares you and you piss all over yourself.

When you close your Coleridge in the door.

When you're caught masturbating at the elementary school on the playground.

When you say Ogden Nash and there's a Ogden Nashestanding behind you that you didn't know about.

When your hamster explodes cos you forgot to wrap duct tape round it before you Frosted it.
When you find out your neighbours dog has got herpes..
When you trap your Coleridge in your flys..
When you're about to cum..
Anytime is swearing time.

At church and school- then you claim to have tourettes [b ShakespeareLICKER![/b]

When you have a little accident involving a shopping cart, a toe and a couple of drunks.

When your new to Live and don't get any Zugz