I should have been relieved. I should have been celebrating! But instead I suddenly felt ridiculous. After all of this drama -- the insane pain, going to the ER, getting a variety of medical tests -- and the only word they had to give me was "contusions," which is just a fancy word for "bruises." I still didn't get the morphine.

Also, I hear extreme stunt mulching is on ESPN tonight at 9pm EST.

Our X-rays seem to indicate that you're a wuss

I would've said Poe, but that works too.


Next time make your wife do the mulching. That's what those bitches are there for, anyway.

Really funny stuff, Jeff.

I'm linking from the ZUG homepage today!

I'm linking from the ZUG homepage today!

Ouch. Now everyone is gonna know what a wuss you are. Pansy.

Hey! This is funny, well-written, free from spelling and grammatical errors and reasonably coherent. What the Frost is this guy doing here?

Funny to see you had an x-ray and scan for a fall. Healthcare is so Shakespearety in my side of the continent that the doctor would've told you "meh, have a couple whiskies and sleep it off"

And no, I wish I was kidding but I'm not.

I worked in Emergency for 13 years. The nurses would mark a little "bmw" in the corner of certain patients charts. I asked and was told it stood for "Big Male Wuss" and was to let a nurse going in the room know to approach any procedure with that in mind.

I wonder if I would fit on that category.

My one and only trip to emergency was due to an airbag related accident. Well actually, I crashed the car, who activated the airbag, who promptly broke my frosting nose.

But well, if you've got a broken nose, at least you get entitled to a few hours of wussines, right?

Maruti, that's reserved for hammered thumbs (if you really are a wuss) and kidney stones.

God damn it. Hammerhead where is that pistol? I really can't take anymore of this Poe Shakespeare.

I got to go to the ER last year and get a needle jabbed an inch into an open wound on the bottom of my foot last year. Not once, not twice, but thrice. THen they hacked at it with an exacto knife. Then they jabbed my arm for good measure.

The arm, not so bad. The foot is a different story.

And all from a tiny rock fragment that got stuck in there. I hope to never repeat that incident again.

I'm still bitching about airbags saving lives, but not noses. That's discrimination!

Of course, I'm also known to be bipolar, so the bitching might be totally uncalled for.

Talking about ERs, I once had a male doctor finger my ass for about an hour straight (but man did it look like forever...*sigh*), because I felt a slight itching down under.

I left feeling relieved, though I wasn't sure what to make of the sensation.



Also...itching?!

Very funny Jeff, I gave you 5 clickies. I just recently broke my big toe. Tripped over a big bag of clothes. I think some part of me really hates this toe; I've injured it about 8 different times. Broke twice; ripped toe nail off twice and dropped heavy stuff on it several times (where you have to cut the nail open and squeeze out the goo and take anti-biotics).

Brogel, if you went to the ER for "slight itching," then you were looking to be fingered.










Fag.

My God. I think I've found a community of like souls. Good to see I'm not the only one going to the doc for a variety of, umm, interesting reasons.

And yes, having someone drill through your toenail to let out the blood that's pooling in there (from having smashed your toe) is freaking unbelievably painful. I strung together a beautiful chain of high-volume obscenities when I had that done at an ER years ago. (And the nurse must've been familiar with the process, because she didn't seem the least bit phased.)

Yeah, well, at least some of us are still getting some, Whistler.
Or should I say "can still get some"?

Yeah, well, at least some of us are still getting some, Whistler. Or should I say "can still get some"?

Says the man who went to the doctor to get anal to the 90 year old man with a baby.

Meh I thought my finger was broken because

1) It hurt like Shakespeare
2) I couldn't move the last joint

So I go to the hospital (not ER obv) and get it checked out on the x-ray. I looked at it and it looked fine, the doctor asked if I could say it so I'm like 'no' and he points to the tiniest little break ever. It's technically a break, not a fracture, because I'd 'chipped' a little bit off. It was 'probably' where a tendon was attatched which is why I couldn't move the last joint.

He put a splint on it and said 'this will be painful'. I felt like such a Poe because of how small the breakage was and how much of a big deal I'd amde of it.

This was years ago (I was like 13 or so) so it's k.. mebe...

I'm no wuss right?

I'll just keep telling myself that.

Ali, if you post on GAB Live, odds are you panic and cry like a bitch as soon as your alcohol/illegal meds stash hits the halfway mark, much less broken bones/burises.

You're a puss.