Blindness is not funny. My wife happens to be blind and... Oh wait thats you not me.


Guess it is kinda funny.

Is the best part of having a blind wife not having to hide the ZuG tittie pics folder on the family computer or being able to stand there giving her the finger right to her face when she nags you?

Yes.

Fritz was relieved he wasn't late for his interview to become an NFL referee.

This reminds me of this stupid, obese, bitch that I use to work with in Atlanta. She drives by touch and refuses to avoid pot holes and curbs because that would require her to move her arms and eat up the fatty reserves that will keep her alive after the apocalypse.
I swear she alone could resolve the famine in Africa by either consuming or being consumed by the population.

Stevie Wonder is performing here tomorrow...while hitch hiking driving along interstate 35, I noticed a billboard advertisment for his concert...


...in Braille.


Someone in marketing has alot of splainin to doooo!

GUY DRIVING THE CAR: You guys think I'm blind, Nipples is the only one who realized, this is a Caption Contest.

Bill you should have realized a long time ago that we hijacked this bitch. It's ours now Froster.

Fine. Tardjack my Capcon. Frosters.

You got any funny pranks to play on blind people?

Leaving the plunger in the toilet and putting the waffle iron in the place of her braille book, are not options.

Tried those already, huh?

No, but I do move the furniture when she pisses me off.

Act like you have a stuffed up nose; ask them to smell stuff for you; and make sure it's bad.

Offer to wipe something off their face with a napkin; which has marker on it. Doodle on their face with a marker while asleep. Write funny stuff on a shirt. Leave puddles of liquid where they will walk. Give them a fish flavored milkshake. Mix up all their socks. Hide all the knives; this is not to be funny. Just good common sense, cause they're gonna be pissed.


Oh yeah almost forgot, pretend you've temporarily lost your sight; and have them teach you how to do stuff. Then complain this isn't so hard why do you always make it seem so bad. Remember to hide those knives; as you know what you deserve if you do this.

Grace, Remember:

1.) I have to sleep with this woman and fall asleep before her most of the time.

2.) Even without knives, if you yank hard enough, "It will come off".

3.) the Alamo

Is the best part of having a blind wife not having to hide the ZuG tittie pics folder on the family computer or being able to stand there giving her the finger right to her face when she nags you?

I assume the best part about having a blind wife is he was able to fool a woman into marrying him.

Wait! Wives are supposed to be women?

Oh and Sink-o-pee, Didn't you just get married?

Give it a year or two, you'll be itching to poke her eyes out with a steel tipped dart just for a minute of privacy!

Something I, on the other hand, don't have to worry about.

Ok, I'll try and tone down the evil.

When said blind person is close to the couch, bed, or some other soft area; pretend to trip onto them. Arrange so as not to hurt but land solidly on top of said blind person. Preferably with good genital alignment. Then profuse kindly your concern for their well being and sorrow at such an event. Now take this oportunity to kiss gently the areas of injury(slight as it is)and or massage. Also kissing the neck delicately then nibble. Voila; you should get to have sex. Your prank is a success.

Grace,

Couldn't you have just said, "Frost her and that's the prank", or something?

Couldn't you have just said, "Frost her and that's the prank", or something?

Why?

I'm so glad they were out of seeing eye dogs.

Hey Bill I'm confused; what the hell did you mean?

I don't know Grace, let me wait until I get home and ask the alcohol that wrote it.

The latest invention from ZUG...the 'Seeing Eye Car"...

"When did they start adding all those speed bumps in the school zones?"

Horses are so outdated. CAR polo is the way forwards.

"Damn foreign cars. This thing has a hell of a blind spot."

I swear she alone could resolve the famine in Africa by either consuming or being consumed by the population.

I think she should eat them whole, and then they should eat her from inside, out.

Although it started with the best intentions, congress ultimately decided to scrap the "Vehicles for the Visionless" program.

The Frost-ing Volkswagen thing said, "Sign then drive", how was I supposed to know?

Car Caption " So what I have community service duty picking up the trash, driving and picking trash is so much easier." Hope my PO doesn't see me.

So this is why drive through atm's have assistance for the visually impaired...

"Don't worry, it's just a few more right turns back to my place!"

Oops, shoulda' been "left turns". Sorry, still hung over from last night!

The New BPS (Blind Positioning System)!

There is actually a new car for blind people to drive. They still have a few bumps to smooth out.

At least it's not a woman driver...that would be REALLY scary.