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Waking me out of a dead sleep to ask if I have beer or want to hang out is not exactly how I wanted to spend my mornings. Now for two nights running I've had a minor (or sounds like one) either leave me a voice mail or hurriedly hang up. I like sleep, I like it a lot, in fact I tend to be a gigantic pain in the ass when I don't get it.
Day One (1:27a): I'm shot out of bed with the wonderful whirrr of my phone vibrating and pretending the world is coming to end. It's loud where I work and I forget to lower the volume constantly. Bleary eyed, I look at the CID, 'restricted'. It hits voice mail before I can hit the answer button.
Voice mail- Teenage male: "Hello, I need my carpet fixed, while your at it: I need a blow job, a handjob, and (unintelligible chuckling and giggling)."
Cute, I thought, listening to that voice mail almost immediately after he left it. Since it was a restricted call, I figured not worth the pain to figure it out, a drunk dial using *67.
Day Two (2:03a): I actually get the call on the first ring, though not as loud since I almost expected it this time.
Call-
Me: (Groggy as hell) Hello?
Teenager: (After a 10 second delay) Hello.
Me: Y-
Teenager: Hi, do you want to hang out, do you have any beer?
Me: Look, I'm going to call the police. (I'm such a party pooper, if I was awake I'd of at least gone along with it but being that I was pissed off for being woken up again...)
Immediate hang up.
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His mistake this time was not blocking his caller-id, so now I have a number to call back. It's a cell phone sadly, with verizon, and I don't feel like shelling out money to try and get a trace through a shady website.
So what I ask you my fellow zug-ites is for advice, off-color comments, or flaming bags of poop.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1830220
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1830221
Flaming bag of poop 34,281  10
06/25/2009 06:11 PM
You rang?
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1830226
Bayan Rabbani 1,649 3
06/25/2009 07:11 PM
Give me his phone number. I will take care of the "problem".
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1830228
Whistler P. McManus 141,410 23
06/25/2009 07:24 PM
Call him up and tell him he's driven you to suicide. Then put a gun in your mouth and pull the trigger, keeping the phone close so he hears the shot. He'll probably feel guilty and be haunted by the memory for the rest of the week.
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Amusing
3 votes
1.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1830237
Chix is in da house 238,051 14
06/25/2009 08:33 PM
That's hard core.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1830239
Gonzo 17,604 12
06/25/2009 08:45 PM
Post it in a Craig's List Men seeking Men ad.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1830248
Ravos the Sasquatch 34,281 10
06/25/2009 09:02 PM
Or "Missed Connections"
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1830252
Gonzo 17,604 12
06/25/2009 09:08 PM
Sign up their text e-mail address for lots of spam.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1830253
Gonzo 17,604 12
06/25/2009 09:09 PM
Goatse SMS
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1830342
Ravos the Sasquatch 34,281 10
06/26/2009 04:48 PM
Go onto his computer, set Goatse as the background, and meatspin as the screen saver. Then, take a screenshot of the desktop, and hide all the icons & start bar. Then unplug his mouse & keyboard.
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1830391
Gonzo 17,604 12
06/26/2009 11:35 PM
You are truly teh l33t h4><><0rz if you can do that with just his phone number.
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1830392
Ravos the Sasquatch 34,281 10
06/26/2009 11:39 PM
I wasn't sure if you knew or not, but I'm pretty awesome at life.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1830406
Pants 12,163 13
06/27/2009 01:36 AM
Fill out a bunch of surveys and apply for financial aid for him. The calls will never end because they constantly sell the numbers to other institutions.
Make sure to sign him up for a few of the daily Text Message Horoscopes.
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