Bean 8,602 19
06/25/2009 05:12 PM

Will he moonwalk through the pearly gates?

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
06/25/2009 05:40 PM

Why is it, every time someone rushes up to me and says, "Michael Jackson is dead", I visualize a bunch of children running through the street singing, "Bing, bong, the witch is dead"?

ThunderBalls 283,028 53
06/25/2009 05:50 PM

First Farrah Fawcett and now Michael Jackson. Wow, that makes two people in one day who's posters I masturbated to.

ThunderBalls 283,028 53
06/25/2009 05:50 PM

Wait, John is on a book tour... Michael Jackson Prank Part II???

Silly Pram 80,728 42
06/25/2009 06:34 PM

Just got the news.

Had I posted this thread, the title would be "the rest of Michael Jackson is dead" (his nose was never really alive).

Bean 8,602 19
06/25/2009 06:39 PM

Wait...

He had a nose??

Rock LobstARRRGHH!!! 18,570 33
06/25/2009 06:42 PM

So he went from dead into a coma?

MICHAEL JACKSON IS A ZMOBIE!!!!

Silly Pram 80,728 42
06/25/2009 07:01 PM

I heard he got plastic surgery to look like a little boy and mollested himself to death.

Pubah 56,829 18
06/25/2009 07:05 PM

But seriously folks...

Today we morn a great entertainer...an Icon of American culture.

Beyond his music, think about the contributions to the American Lexicon. Words like...

Shamone: Something like "Come here"

Chah: I really mean it

Whooo (with corresponding leg kick): to ward off nosey parents

Pubah 56,829 18
06/25/2009 07:06 PM

Pubah say:
Michael not dead...he's hangin out with Elvis, Ken Lay and Tupac.

Silly Pram 80,728 42
06/25/2009 07:12 PM

Don't forget, also, his greatest hits:

Invincible
Heaven Can Wait
Speechless
2000 Watts (CLEAR!!!)

Pubah 56,829 18
06/25/2009 07:14 PM

Who hasn't tried "The Smooth Criminal Lean"?

Rock LobstARRRGHH!!! 18,570 33
06/25/2009 07:16 PM

HAHAHA!!! I googled Michael Jackson Zombie, and found this:

Here.

Pubah 56,829 18
06/25/2009 07:28 PM

The Elephant Man's Boner?

Thud 68,506 19
06/25/2009 07:37 PM

Well, how long until we have "sightings" of him and claims that he's still alive?

Silly Pram 80,728 42
06/25/2009 07:38 PM

It has also been reported that Mr. Jackson died from a full body erection after going to see Jonas Brothers in 3D.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
06/25/2009 07:49 PM

$10.00 says it was suicide.

$20.00 says things will get even weirder after he's dead.

Bayan Rabbani 2,826 14
06/25/2009 07:50 PM

Someone should have told the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"

Silly Pram 80,728 42
06/25/2009 07:56 PM

Bayan-

That joke was bad, it's bad, you know it.

Bayan Rabbani 2,826 14
06/25/2009 08:16 PM

http://imgur.com/1VcFm.jpg

The Mailman 176,464 56
06/25/2009 08:25 PM

Q: What do Michael Jackson and The Gap have in common?

A: They both have little boys' shorts half off.

The Mailman 176,464 56
06/25/2009 08:25 PM

Q: What do Michael Jackson and a grocery bag have in common?

A: They're both white, made of plastic and dangerous to small children.

The Mailman 176,464 56
06/25/2009 08:25 PM

Q: What do Michael Jackson and an XBOX have in common?

A: They used to be black, but they became white in recent years, and they both usually get turned on by young boys.

Maruti Driver 360 10
06/25/2009 11:15 PM

What I've been wondering:

Did the doctors say if his nose is still okay? Las time I checked it had a life of it's own.

Bean 8,602 19
06/25/2009 11:24 PM

Well, how long until we have "sightings" of him and claims that he's still alive?

If John and the "Michael Jackson prank" have anything to do with it, not long at all.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
06/25/2009 11:43 PM

Well, I predicted that David Carradine's death would turn out to be a case of auto-erotic asphyxiation gone wrong, so in the case of Michael Jackson, I'm going to predict auto-erotic asphyxiation gone right.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
06/25/2009 11:44 PM

I am aware that that didn't really make sense, but I did so enjoy typing it.

DAGGY 86,705 14
06/26/2009 05:41 AM

First thing that popped into my head was the paramedics in the anbulance giggling..... 'No, YOU prod his nose first!'

Ravos the Sasquatch 63,472 21
06/26/2009 07:05 AM

Michael Jackson is clearly a saint, and it will be proven over the source of the next few years. Everyone knows saint's bodies do not decompose. And everyone knows it takes an excessive amount of time for plastic to decompose.

Therefore, MJ = Saint.

Ravos the Sasquatch 63,472 21
06/26/2009 07:05 AM

Jill Bean is not my lover.

MungChamp 35,891 35
06/26/2009 07:23 AM

I am really shocked. I am just trying to process this in small increments to avoid a total breakdown. I mean, I never thought the day would come when Pram would have the top two funniest posts in a thread!

This is a sad day indeed.

Ravos the Sasquatch 63,472 21
06/26/2009 07:34 AM

Well, at least we still have Bollywood thriller.

DAGGY 86,705 14
06/26/2009 09:16 AM

What's a queef?

Chix is in da house 286,617 61
06/26/2009 09:23 AM

A gay barrier reef.

KChikita Banana Box 128,409 98
06/26/2009 09:35 AM

A drag queen with no front teeth.

Bayan Rabbani 2,826 14
06/26/2009 09:54 AM

Did you hear that they are melting down Michael Jackson's body and turning him into legos so little kids can play with him for once?

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
06/26/2009 09:56 AM

[1st Verse]
I Told Him Don't You make your come back round here
Don't Wanna See Your Face, since your nose Disappeared
The pain’s there in your chest And The medic just said Clear
So Beat It, Just Beat It

[2nd Verse]
You Better walk, You Better go take your nap
Don't Wanna die a freak, you’re to old for this crap
You Wanna Be Tough, but it’s a little late for that
So Beat It,

[Chorus]
Just Beat It, Beat It,
No One Wants To Be Defibrillated
Showin' How Funky Strong Is Your Fight
It Doesn't Matter cause you died last night
Just Beat It, Beat It
Just Beat It, Beat It
Just Beat It, Beat It
Just Beat It, Beat It

BC Bud 13,797 15
06/26/2009 10:02 AM

What's a queef?

A gay cow.

Fratberry 283,028 53
06/26/2009 10:04 AM

...because I'm Dead
I'm Dead
Ya know it...
Shamone

Maruti Driver 360 10
06/26/2009 10:22 AM

Beat it?

How strangely erotic...

Discombobulated 4,322 8
06/26/2009 10:24 AM

Michael Jackson is clearly a saint, and it will be proven over the source of the next few years. Everyone knows saint's bodies do not decompose. And everyone knows it takes an excessive amount of time for plastic to decompose.

Therefore, MJ = Saint.

Also he was clearly aspiring to be a catholic priest.

Autra 10,560 11
06/26/2009 11:22 AM

Truly a sad day when two iconic white women die within hours of each other.

Ravos the Sasquatch 63,472 21
06/26/2009 11:23 AM

What's a queef?

Queen Latifa's nickname.

Jeff Haynes 631 4
06/26/2009 01:50 PM

Somewhere, Tito is sitting alone at his Casio keyboard, saying to himself: "Now it's MY turn to be the famous Jackson."

Ravos the Sasquatch 63,472 21
06/26/2009 01:57 PM

Naw, Janet is still around. Somewhere.

Maruti Driver 360 10
06/26/2009 03:34 PM

Continuing a bit with the nose jokes, I wonder how long will it take for Jackson's nose to appear for auction on eBay.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
06/26/2009 11:30 PM

McDonalds is coming out with a new Michael Jackson burger.

50 year old meat between 15 year old buns.

Frogpop 173,153 25
06/26/2009 11:51 PM

Bill is coming out with a new and original joke.

To get to the other side.