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Little-Known Michael Jackson Facts
An idea challenge by John Hargrave 128,123 71
06/26/2009 09:22 AM 2208 views

Michael Jackson once befriended a rhesus monkey by pulling a thorn from its toe -- and then having sex with the monkey.

Michael Jackson owned a pair of 33-pound gold and jewel-encrusted earrings that would unfortunately tear the earlobes off anyone who tried to wear them.

Michael Jackson insisted that portions of the Neverland Ranch be made entirely of cheese.

Michael Jackson never owned the bones of the "Elephant Man," but he did own the Elephant's Man enormous, bizarrely-shaped head, which he used as a bookend.

Michael Jackson was once a small black child.


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59 Comments on "

Little-Known Michael Jackson Facts

"

(Funniest: Professor Nutbutter,BarneyBites,Hairy Nipples)


Hilarious 4 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830357
Chix is in da house 282,028 58
06/26/2009 09:25 AM

Anybody else getting the Jackson 5/State Farm I'll be there ad over there? ------------------->


Freakin me out man.

 

Hilarious 2 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830358
KChikita Banana Box 124,276 89
06/26/2009 09:32 AM

Yup.

 

Hilarious 8 votes 4.4 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830359
Bill the Squirrel 53,130 53
06/26/2009 09:33 AM

Michael Jackson actually wrote "Beat it", while watching the Little League World Series.

 

Hilarious 3 votes 4.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830362
Professor Nutbutter 181,220 34
06/26/2009 09:46 AM

Rockwell's first choice to sing on Somebody's Watching Me was not Michael, but Tito.

 

Hilarious 8 votes 4.2 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830363
Professor Nutbutter 181,220 34
06/26/2009 09:47 AM

Michael Jackson had unhealthy and inappropriate relationships with several young boys.

 

Hilarious 11 votes 4.4 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830364
Professor Nutbutter 181,220 34
06/26/2009 09:50 AM

Michael Jackson was The Bitch in his relationship with Emmanuel Lewis.

 

Funny 17 votes 3.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830367
KChikita Banana Box 124,276 89
06/26/2009 09:56 AM

Michael Jackson picks his nose...










































...from a catalogue.

 

Amusing 1 votes 1.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830375
Maruti Driver 360 9
06/26/2009 10:32 AM

Actually the white michael jackson was planted on earth by aliens as part of a world domination scheme. The real michael jackson is still trapped on some backward ass planet somewhere.

Hey I saw that on TV, so it MUST be true.

 

Hilarious 3 votes 4.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830378
Ravos the Sasquatch 62,361 20
06/26/2009 11:21 AM

Michael Jackson's nose is now prominently featured on his mannequin in the wax museum.

So life like!

 

Hilarious 3 votes 4.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830380
Nipples_4_u_84_california 2,207 7
06/26/2009 11:22 AM

Michael Jackson's entire face is made up of toothpicks and chewing gum.

The only reason Michael Jackson had kids was to have sex with them.

 

Funny 2 votes 3.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830385
Maruti Driver 360 9
06/26/2009 12:02 PM

The only reason Michael Jackson had kids was to have sex with them.

That's a WELL known fact, not a little known one.

 

Funny 4 votes 3.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830386
Nipples_4_u_84_california 2,207 7
06/26/2009 12:25 PM

Oh snap. My bad yo.

 

Chuckleworthy 2 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830387
Fratberry 277,313 52
06/26/2009 12:34 PM

The State Farm ad was running on ESPN yesterday after we heard the announcement. We were watching CNN and I said, "I wonder if ESPN is saying anything about this" and flipped the channel over to the ad. Mrs. Fratberry laughed and said "SCORE!"

 

Funny 7 votes 3.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830393
Bill the Squirrel 53,130 53
06/26/2009 02:58 PM

Another little known fact:

Michael Jackson would call kids and tell them to come over to the ranch because he was blowing bubbles. And, the ones who didn't know about his monkey, would.

 

Amusing 1 votes 1.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830395
Gonzo 20,504 16
06/26/2009 03:25 PM

Michael, Janet, and Latoya each hold a fragment of secret talisman than, when brought together, will bring about Armageddon.

They did so in 1998, and the result was a pretty good action movie with horrible writing and an annoyingly catchy ballad.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830396
Gonzo 20,504 16
06/26/2009 03:31 PM

Michael Jackson is not dead. But he must let the world think that he is dead, until he can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within him.

Dun-dun-dunnnn-dunnnnn!

 

Hilarious 5 votes 4.4 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830402
Pants 14,213 17
06/26/2009 04:15 PM

Little known fact...

Michael Jackson didn't have a gag reflex.

 

Hilarious 15 votes 4.4 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830404
Chit 178,088 15
06/26/2009 04:29 PM


Michael Jackson got rushed to the hospital in a NAMBLAnce.

 

Hilarious 7 votes 4.1 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830407
HighSoci 28,959 16
06/26/2009 04:45 PM

Since he is 90% plastic, they are going to melt him down and use him to make Legos. That way the little kids can play with him for once.

 

Hilarious 6 votes 4.2 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830409
MungChamp 35,886 35
06/26/2009 05:11 PM

MJ's last words were "take me to the children's hospital".

 

Hilarious 14 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830410
MungChamp 35,886 35
06/26/2009 05:12 PM

When Farrah Fawcett died and went to heaven, God granted her one wish, she said...

"I just wish that all of the children in the world would be safe."

God nodded and then killed Michael Jackson.

 

Funny 1 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830412
Silly Pram 78,171 40
06/26/2009 05:20 PM

Michael Jackson was more Captain Hook than Peter Pan.

 

Chuckleworthy 1 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830413
Pants 14,213 17
06/26/2009 05:20 PM

Little known fact...

Michael Jackson's nose was also a bottle opener/potato peeler.

 

Funny 1 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830414
Silly Pram 78,171 40
06/26/2009 05:20 PM

Michael Jackson's hair caught fire because there was motor oil in it.

He did not put the motor oil in it; it was in there naturally.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830423
Hairy Nipples 2,207 7
06/26/2009 06:05 PM



Hi Billy Mays here for Michael Jackson's nose!

Tired of being stuck with a can and no opener? Tired of slicing potatoes with that dull kitchen knife? Well have I got a deal for you.

Introducing Michael Jackon's nose!

If you call now I'll even pay the shipping!

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830424
Hairy Nipples 2,207 7
06/26/2009 06:06 PM

The bearded one thanks you Pants.

 

Amusing 1 votes 1.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830425
Pram 78,171 40
06/26/2009 06:31 PM

Michael Jackson's face was reversible. When he wanted to scare people in Bahrain (or blend in as a riot victim), he would put it on inside out.

 

Hilarious 5 votes 4.6 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830426
BarneyBites 2,113 17
06/26/2009 06:45 PM

Chuck Norris was tired of him and wished him "gone from this planet".



He would apologize but Chuck is NEVER sorry!

 

Hilarious 5 votes 4.6 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830427
Hairy Nipples 2,207 7
06/26/2009 06:52 PM

Chuck Norris was tired of him and wished him "gone from this planet".

Chuck Norris does not wish. He demands.

 

Funny 7 votes 3.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830429
Dogs Akimbo 205,285 31
06/26/2009 07:06 PM

Michael Jackson proved that white men could dance.

 

Hilarious 2 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830432
Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
06/26/2009 08:55 PM

Michael Jackson shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

 

Hilarious 2 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830440
Bill the Squirrel 53,130 53
06/26/2009 10:24 PM

Michael Jackson was Blue Lep.


Is there such thing as a double positive?

 

Funny 5 votes 3.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830443
HighSoci 28,959 16
06/26/2009 11:36 PM

They found out Michael died from food poisoning.




He had a 10 year old weiner in his mouth.

 

Chuckleworthy 2 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830506
Pubah 54,895 17
06/27/2009 09:57 PM

St Peter becons Michael Jackson to the Pearly Gates...

"Shamone, chahh...ya no, ya no, Shamone"

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830511
Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
06/27/2009 10:28 PM

Michael Jackson could have slapped the beard off of Chuck Norris if he had wanted to.

 

Hilarious 1 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830515
peoriagrace 6,153 11
06/28/2009 01:56 AM

Michael Jackson could have slapped the beard off of Chuck Norris if he had wanted to.

Yeah cause he is all was prissy girly.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830518
Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
06/28/2009 02:54 AM

Hey, Michael might have Frosted little boys in the ass, but little boys Frost Chuck Norris in the ass. Because they can.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830539
peoriagrace 6,153 11
06/28/2009 02:36 PM

I take it you don't like Chuck Norris? I mean I don't like or not like him.

 

Hilarious 2 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830548
Ravos the Sasquatch 62,361 20
06/28/2009 08:08 PM

I always thought that Michael Jackson laid eggs...and I learned something today.

 

Side-splitting 1 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830560
Hairy Nipples 2,207 7
06/28/2009 08:43 PM

If you call now I'll even pay the shipping, and die!

 

Funny 5 votes 3.4 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830583
Bill the Squirrel 53,130 53
06/29/2009 07:37 AM

When Farrah Fawcett died and went to heaven, God granted her one wish, she said...

"I just wish that all of the children in the world would be safe."

God nodded and then killed Michael Jackson.



Farrah then said to god, "Hey, could you off that infomercial guy too? He bugs the Shakespeare out of me."

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830677
Dogs Akimbo 205,285 31
06/29/2009 11:45 PM

Billie Jean is not his lover.

 

Hilarious 3 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830702
Ravos as Baldilocks 62,361 20
06/30/2009 07:48 AM

What's the difference between the pope, and Michael Jackson?

The pope isn't dead.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830705
KChikita Banana Box 124,276 89
06/30/2009 08:12 AM

The old Pope is dead! Long live the new Pope!

Or something.

 

Hilarious 3 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830706
Ravos as Baldilocks 62,361 20
06/30/2009 08:13 AM

Long live the 3rd reich!

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830716
Ravos as Baldilocks 62,361 20
06/30/2009 09:12 AM

What does the pope have that Michael Jackson didn't?

A pope-mobile.





It's funny 'cause it's true!

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830721
Bill the Squirrel 53,130 53
06/30/2009 09:27 AM

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830736
A_Zona 0 6
06/30/2009 11:22 AM

Children taste like candy. Sweet, sweet candy. Chimpanzees taste like bananas. Yummy, yummy bananas. Death tastes like embalming fluid. Sour, sour embalming fluid. I sure wish I had a kid or a chimpanzee here to drown out the taste.

 

Hilarious 4 votes 4.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1830834
The Rev. Dr. Big Irish Guy, Jr. 203,777 21
07/01/2009 08:59 AM

When Michael Jackson died they found a piece of boys underwear taped to his shoulder...










he was trying to quit.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1831077
TomServo 3,752 7
07/03/2009 02:18 AM

Have you heard... Michael Jackson DIED.
































You heard it here first

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1831080
Ali_Legend 840 7
07/03/2009 04:49 AM

Knock Knock!!

Who's there?

NOT Michael Jackson






To honour Michael Jackson's passing McDonalds is making a special MJ burger- it's 50 year old meat inbetween 10 year old buns.






Oh wait it's a fact thread not a joke thread... FUUUUUUUUU-

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1831214
Bayan Rabbani 2,826 14
07/05/2009 06:09 PM

When Farrah Fawcett died and went to heaven, God said she can have any one wish granted to her. She thought about it, and wished that all the children of the earth be safe.

So God killed Michael Jackson.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1831538
Hairy Nipples 2,207 7
07/07/2009 06:42 PM

"Michael Jackson" is an anagram for "Inhale Jam Coleridges"

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1831648
Artie Choke 76 3
07/08/2009 01:13 PM

Michael Jackson never hit puberty.



































Actually, he rarely hit anything older than about eight and a half.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1831675
Unknown Duck 530 6
07/08/2009 02:34 PM

Michael Jackson was the big spoon

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1831696
Bill the Squirrel 53,130 53
07/08/2009 03:31 PM

Michael Jackson and Oscar Mayer were the same person.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1831759
Chance, its whats for dinner! 171,220 14
07/09/2009 09:41 AM

They found out Michael died from food poisoning.
He had a 10 year old weiner in his mouth.


Hey looks its HighSoci, tired of stealing kids and onto stealing things posted already by John I see.

Oh no I di'int.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1831760
Bill the Squirrel 53,130 53
07/09/2009 09:49 AM

Since he is 90% plastic, they are going to melt him down and use him to make Legos. That way the little kids can play with him for once.



Now we know why they won't disclose where he's being buried.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1831989
Maruti Driver 360 9
07/10/2009 12:41 PM

I'll never look at legos the same way again.