Self Love Slogans
An idea challenge
by Whistler P. McManus  141,685  23
06/29/2009 02:39 PM 1116 views
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"We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation."
-Lily Tomlin
"Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love."
-Woody Allen
"We know that more than seventy to eighty percent of women masturbate, and ninety percent of men masturbate, and the rest lie."
-Joycelyn Elders
"If God had intended for us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter."
-George Carlin
"Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate."
-from the sound track of Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life."
Ah, masturbation. The challenge is thus: take a famous tag line, catch phrase, advertising slogan, etc., and put masturbation (in one form or another) into it.
Examples:
Masturbation, it's finger lickin' good.
You're in good hands with masturbation.
Reach out and touch yourself.
Some of these might not need any modification:
Let your fingers do the walking.
You get the idea - now GO!
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.5
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Hilarious
10 votes
4.0
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The Mailman 130,838  14
06/29/2009 05:17 PM
Masturbation - You'll be saying "Wow" everytime!
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Funny
9 votes
3.2
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John Hargrave 116,629 19
06/29/2009 05:55 PM
Masturbation: It's What's For Dinner
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Funny
6 votes
3.5
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John Hargrave 116,629 19
06/29/2009 05:55 PM
Got Masturbation?
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Funny
17 votes
3.9
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John Hargrave 116,629 19
06/29/2009 05:55 PM
Masturbation: The Other White Fluid
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Funny
9 votes
3.6
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Discombobulated 2,239 5
06/29/2009 06:17 PM
Masturbation : Your way, right away
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Hilarious
18 votes
4.5
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Discombobulated 2,239 5
06/29/2009 06:19 PM
Fap, Fap, Jizz, Jizz oh what a relief it is
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.5
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Chix is in da house 238,139 14
06/29/2009 06:36 PM
<============== Please see icon.
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Funny
7 votes
3.4
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Chix is in da house 238,139 14
06/29/2009 06:38 PM
Masturbation, cause dinner out with wine is spensive, yo.
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.7
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Chix is in da house 238,139 14
06/29/2009 06:39 PM
You're in good hands with Allstate.
"Full coverage? Yes? Happy finish? Yes?"
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Funny
6 votes
3.3
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Trae Spawn On Board 156,239 10
06/29/2009 07:12 PM
"Cum back to Jamaica"
"Have a masturbate and a smile"
"Masturbation: Just do it"
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.3
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Trae Spawn On Board 156,239 10
06/29/2009 07:12 PM
"Masturbation: Is it in you??"
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Funny
4 votes
3.8
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Mothcleaner 3,596 5 Singing to the McDonalds theme.
06/29/2009 07:15 PM
Fap Fap Fap Fap, Faaap!, I'm lovin it!
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Funny
18 votes
3.7
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Hairy Nipples 2,135 5
06/29/2009 08:26 PM
Masturbation. So easy, a caveman can do it!
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.3
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peoriagrace 5,962 9
06/29/2009 09:47 PM
#1 Tip To A Sexy Stomach MASTERBATE
Nobody Can Masterbate Just Once!
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.2
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peoriagrace 5,962 9
06/29/2009 09:50 PM
Sorry I'm a little tired; Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate.
I hope I've learned my lesson.
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.2
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TheVelveTurd 4,931 3
06/30/2009 01:30 AM
Good to the last drop.
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Funny
8 votes
3.7
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Discombobulated 2,239 5
06/30/2009 01:55 AM
The best part of waking up
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.2
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What's Goin' Anh? 10,502 8
06/30/2009 03:56 AM
Because I'm worth it.
Masturbation, the quicker picker-upper.
It's what your right arm's for.
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Hilarious
21 votes
4.3
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The ARRH! in Diarrhea 979 4
06/30/2009 05:28 AM
For women who'll talk to you, there's Visa.
For everything else, there's masturbation.
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
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Ravos the Sasquatch 34,425 10
06/30/2009 05:46 AM
For those heavy flow days, there's masturbation
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.0
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Pubah 47,451 11
06/30/2009 06:35 AM
No one can love me
better than I love me
Masturbation
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.2
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Straw Trekkin Across the Universe 59,713 11
06/30/2009 06:46 AM
"Time to make the O face."
"I made the O face."
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
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Straw Trekkin Across the Universe 59,713 11 steals Chix's joke.
06/30/2009 06:56 AM
Kentucky Choked Chicken, we choke the chicken RIGHT!
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0 votes
0.0
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Redwing 1,935 11
06/30/2009 07:40 AM
Drop drop, jizz jizz,
oh what a relief it is!
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Thud 53,122 10
06/30/2009 08:43 AM
"If you've got it, spank it."
"The only date that won't say no."
"Cheap birth control, here I come!"
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
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Pram 53,569 12
06/30/2009 10:38 AM
"let's get some shoes!"
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
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Pram 53,569 12
06/30/2009 10:43 AM
(Mentos)
"It doesn't matter what comes, fresh goes better in life, and Masturbation's full of life"
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Funny
9 votes
3.8
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Pram 53,569 12
06/30/2009 10:57 AM
"sometimes you feel like a nut..."
"My baloney has a first name, it's B-O-N-E-R..."
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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Alarm Clock the Patient Robot 5,980 4
06/30/2009 12:14 PM
"Just for the taste of it."
"Get your own bag."
"I got the blue box balls blues."
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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Ravos as Baldilocks 34,425 10
06/30/2009 04:44 PM
What did the 5 fingers say to the face?
Masturbation!
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Funny
5 votes
3.8
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Autra 7,945 6
06/30/2009 05:39 PM
Masturbation: The quicker pecker upper
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0 votes
0.0
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Hairy Nipples 2,135 5
07/01/2009 01:45 AM
M-a-s-t-u-r-b-a-t-i-o-n spells relief!
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.2
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Pants 12,163 13
07/01/2009 01:53 AM
(Shake and Bake)
"It's masturbation and I helped!"
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
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The ARRH! in Diarrhea 979 4
07/01/2009 04:15 AM
I feel like wankin' tonight! Like wankin' tonight!
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0 votes
0.0
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Pram 53,569 12
07/01/2009 09:39 PM
Why did Lobster cross the road?
To come jack me off!
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0 votes
0.0
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Pram 53,569 12
07/01/2009 09:48 PM
Roses are red,
violets are blue,
masturbating bear!
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
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Bill the Squirrel 25,535 8
07/01/2009 09:49 PM
Asian Masturbation.
Little.Yellow.Different.Better!
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.0
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Hairy Nipples 2,135 5
07/01/2009 10:51 PM
Burger King Masturbation Club, where a kid can be a kid!
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0 votes
0.0
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Autra 7,945 6
07/01/2009 11:10 PM
BKMasturbation Super 7 Incher: It'll blow your mind away.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Autra 7,945 6
07/01/2009 11:15 PM
Live in your world. Play with yourself in ours.
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.0
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MungChamp 22,656 16
07/02/2009 12:02 AM
Masturbation: The reason I haven't killed yet.
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Side-splitting
2 votes
5.0
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Autra 7,945 6
07/02/2009 12:13 AM
That's not a slogan, Mung.
That's just a fact.
I mean, if you could quit playing with yourself long enough to get your fat hairy ass out of your computer chair, I'm sure you would've been locked up for years.
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0 votes
0.0
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Hairy Nipples 2,135 5
07/02/2009 12:46 AM
Nausea, heartburn, masturbation, upset stomach, diarrhea.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Member Number 11477 11,065 10
07/02/2009 01:19 AM
$5 footlong! (same as in town)
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Pubah 47,451 11
07/02/2009 09:26 AM
My hobby has a first name
its M-A-S-T-R
My hobby has a second name
its B-A-T-Ion
Oh, I love to beat it
Everyday
And if you ask me why
I'll sayyyyy
That nothing feels quite as good as
B-E-A-T Yur Meat!
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0 votes
0.0
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Ravos as Baldilocks 34,425 10
07/02/2009 04:31 PM
Masturbation, the san francisco treat.
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
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Chance, its whats for dinner! 168,281 11
07/02/2009 04:47 PM
Masturbation: It's What's For Dinner
Um, okay John.
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
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Jeff Haynes 622 1
07/02/2009 05:28 PM
Love the skin you're in.
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Funny
5 votes
3.8
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The Earl of Bli Bli 55 1
07/02/2009 06:49 PM
Ok, I'm Australian, so I'm not sure if you have any of these where you come from.
"oh what a feeling!" -Toyota
"Masturbation: Take life to the MAX." - Energizer
"Masturbation: Play, Laugh, Grow" - Fisher Price
"The best a man can get" - Gillette
"Thats another load off your mind" - Persil
"Masturbation: Once you've popped, you can't stop" - Pringles
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0 votes
0.0
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The Earl of Bli Bli 55 1
07/02/2009 06:59 PM
"Masturbation: Take it easy" - Cadbury Chocolate, Caramel
"The Ride of your life" - Peugeot
"Masturbation: I saw this, and thought of you" - Royle Mail
"So much pleasure, But where is the pain" - Muller Light
"Masturbation: Top Breeders recomend it" - Pedigree Chum
"Masturbation: Trying harder than ever" - Avis
"Masturbation: Who's Next?" - California Lotto
"Masturbation - A higher degree of success" - DeVry Condoms
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1830972
The Earl of Bli Bli 55 1
07/02/2009 07:11 PM
ZOMG, most of these dont need anything.
"Jizz: Just for the taste of it" - Diet Coke
"mmmm, Rely on the tiger" - Exxon
"The best never rest" - Ford
"Enjoy the ride" - Nissan
"Obey your thirst" - Sprite
"If it doesn't get all over the place, It doesn't belong in your face" - The Carl's Jr.
"Pure chewing Stroking satisfaction" - Wrigly's gum
I'm not going to get anything for all this effort, am I?
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0 votes
0.0
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The Earl of Bli Bli 55 1
07/02/2009 07:13 PM
"WhatalotIgot" - Smarties
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0 votes
0.0
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Hairy Nipples 2,135 5
07/02/2009 08:32 PM
Can you repeat those in English please? I don't understand freaky deaky Australian.
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
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Reverendhongry - Omniscrotent 296 2
07/03/2009 09:00 AM
(sara lee)
Nobody does it like masturbation!
(nokia)
Masturbation. Your personal entertainer.
(Trix)
Silly Rabbit, masturbation is for kids!
(Sears)
Come See the Softer Side of Masturbation.
(Visa)
Masturbation. It's Everywhere You Want To Be.
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1831075
TomServo 3,733 5
07/03/2009 11:10 AM
Melts in your hands not in her mouth
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0 votes
0.0
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xentar 428 5
07/03/2009 03:38 PM
Nothing outlasts the Masturbation. It keeps going and going and going.
Have it your way.
Think globally, act locally.
Let your fingers do the walking.
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0 votes
0.0
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Pubah 47,451 11
07/06/2009 09:17 AM
Masterbation:
When you care enough to take matters into your own hands.
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0 votes
0.0
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shadesofgrey 5,426 5
07/06/2009 05:49 PM
If you want something done right, do it yourself.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Major Inconvenience 102 5
07/12/2009 07:47 AM
Cum for a cause
If you keep cummin', you got healthy plumbin'
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0 votes
0.0
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Major Inconvenience 102 5
07/12/2009 07:49 AM
Procrastination is like masturbation e" at first it might feel great, but in the end you're just [having sex with] yourself.
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0 votes
0.0
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RedRage187 0 2
07/26/2009 07:43 PM
NEW AXE INSTINCT
Fragrance with the power of masturbation
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0 votes
0.0
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RedRage187 0 2
07/29/2009 02:50 AM
Merrill Lynch
Global Wealth Masturbation
Modelo Especial
Let it be masturbation
Toyota Prius
Harmony between man, nature and masturbation
Toshiba
Leading masturbation
Davidoff cigarettes
Life is masturbation
Panasonic
Ideas for masturbation
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.8
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Mighty Kind 7,204 7
07/29/2009 03:22 AM
I'm always after me lucky charms!
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0 votes
0.0
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Bob Monkeypimp 421 0
07/29/2009 03:33 AM
Self love not war, spunk-action over pump-action...
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
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Bob Monkeypimp 421 0
07/29/2009 03:35 AM
If you don't enjoy masturbation, you've only got yourself to blame...
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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Bob Monkeypimp 421 0
07/29/2009 03:36 AM
Finger lickin' good...
(One for the ladies.)
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0 votes
0.0
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Bob Monkeypimp 421 0
07/29/2009 03:38 AM
Another one for the laydees;
Masturbation, it's frigging great..
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1834922
Bob Monkeypimp 421 0
07/29/2009 03:40 AM
Ah! Baby Gravy...
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
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Folken 129 1
07/30/2009 09:38 PM
Since I'm a fan of Coca-Cola, these are some of the taglines and jingles over the time... and for the sake of thread integrity, I've replaced Coca-Cola, Coke, and relatives for Masturbation.
1893 - Masturbation, The Ideal Brain Tonic
1904 - Masturbation, Delicious and Refreshing
1905 - Masturbation Revives and Sustains
1906 - The Masturbation of Quality
1907 - Masturbation, Coolingfes,.Refreshingfes,Delicious
1908 - Masturbation, Good To The Last Drop
1917 - Masturbation, Three Million A Day
1922 - Masturbation Knows No Season
1924 - Masturbation, Pause and Refresh Yourself
1927 - Masturbation Around the Corner From Anywhere
1929 - Masturbation, The Pause That Refreshes
1934 - When It's Hard To Get Started, Start With Masturbation
1935 - All Trails Lead To Masturbation
1936 - Masturbation, It's The Refreshing Thing To Do
1938 - The Best Friend Masturbation Ever Had
1939 - Whoever You Are, Whatever You Do, Wherever You May Be, When You Think of Refreshment Think of Masturbation
1948 - Where There's Masturbation There's Hospitality
1948 - It's The Real Thing! (First time this slogan was used.)
1950 - Time Out For Masturbation
1950 - Help Yourself to Masturbation
1951 - Good Food And Masturbation Just Naturally Go Together
1952 - What You Want Is Masturbation
1954 - Masturbation, For People On The Go
1956 - Masturbation - Makes Good Things Taste Better
1957 - Masturbation, Sign Of Good Taste
1957 - There's Nothing Like Masturbation
1958 - The Cold, Crisp Taste of Masturbation
1959 - Masturbation, Be Really Refreshed
1962 - Masturbation, Enjoy That Refreshing New Feeling
1963 - Things Go Better With Masturbation
1976 - Masturbation Adds Life
1979 - Have a Masturbation and a Smile
1982 - Masturbation Is It!
1985 - Masturbation, We've Got A Taste For You
1989 - Masturbation, Can't Beat The Feeling
1990 - Masturbation, Can't Beat The Real Thing
1993 - Always Masturbation
1993 - Masturbation, Taste It All
2000 - Masturbation Enjoy
2001 - Masturbation, Life Tastes Good
2002 - All the world loves Masturbation
Talk about dirty marketing...
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Gleeeem 224 1
08/05/2009 06:27 PM
Masturbation, replacing exercise since nineteen dickity two.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1848236
relty 0 1
11/04/2009 01:09 PM
Windows Vista: So you can masturbate while it's loading...
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