CELL PHONE RECORDS- Sue wins!
A comedy article
by Bill the Squirrel  25,487  8
07/01/2009 02:53 AM 255 views
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I said:
Why did a man named Bayan just call me and start asking me about my phone usage?
When I asked him if he worked for you, he said, "No, I just filter through peoples phone records and work out better ways for them to manage their time."
He then told me he got the phone records from you? How did this happen?
She replied:
Dear William Phillips,
My name is Sue, and I am so sorry you received a call from a marketing company. I would be happy to assist you this afternoon. I would also like to apologize for the delay in my response to your email. We are experiencing substantial e-mail volumes at this time and I regret any inconvenience this may have caused you.
Please let me reassure you that we do not release any information to other companies about you or your account. Verizon Wireless has a long-standing policy of guarding personal customer information, and has no plans to publish its customers' wireless numbers. Your wireless phone number is unlisted unless you request otherwise. Please also be assured Verizon Wireless does not sell or distribute account information to unrelated third parties. However, Verizon Wireless may share customer information with its affiliates, agents and parent companies (Verizon Communications and Vodafone) so that those entities may market their services to Verizon Wireless customers.
If you do not want your information shared in this way, please sign in to "My Verizon" and choose the "My Profile" tab. Click on the "View/Edit Privacy (CPNI) Settings" link under the "Cell Phone Controls" section and update your preference. Or you may call the "Verizon Wireless Opt Out Line" at 1-800-333-9956 and your request will be honored.
As a friendly reminder, if you give your wireless number as a contact number to a company (e.g. credit card company) and do not specify it is your wireless number, your information may be sold to other companies unless otherwise stipulated. If you are interested in adding your number to the National Do Not Call registry to prevent telemarketing calls, please call 888-382-1222 or visit the following link:
www.donotcall.gov
William, I hope the information I have provided on Verizon Wireless's policy of sharing your information has been helpful. I would also like to take this opportunity to welcome you to Verizon Wireless! I am confident you will come to love our great network coverage and excellent customer service, even if you don't win your contest. We appreciate your business and thank you for using Verizon Wireless. If you have any further questions or concerns, please reply to this email.
Sincerely,
Sue
Verizon Wireless
Customer Service
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.5
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0 votes
0.0
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Mothcleaner 3,592  5
07/01/2009 04:34 PM
Shakespeare, They're on to us. quick, hide in the bushes!
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0 votes
0.0
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Bayan Rabbani 1,649 3
07/01/2009 05:17 PM
I Frosted up.
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0 votes
0.0
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Queso 0 1
07/13/2009 07:27 AM
I'm lost as to the funny of this document.
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0 votes
0.0
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Bill the Squirrel 25,487 8
07/13/2009 08:36 AM
And that is why you are dumber than a box of rocks.
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