Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
A comedy article
by Dr. Manhole  21,656  29
07/15/2009 03:14 PM 2725 views
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A Review.
Spoiler Alert! If you have read the book but not seen the movie, this review is OK to read. If you have not read the first five books of the series, this review is NOT OK to read.
Delayed by the writers strike, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince finally opened to the big screen to eagerly awaiting fans. The few dressed up as House Elves, Hogwarts students, and general wizards alike, packed the area theaters to capacity at midnight on the 15th of July. Straw and I chose to wear the most common costume of the night - muggle attire. But our wands, however, were kept at the ready in case you know who showed up. Who never did, by the way.
The film started and ended well, doing its best to squeeze the six hundred fifty two page book into just two and a half short hours. David Heyman, the films producer, did a masterful job at leaving scenes out and including the scenes and stories that made for a good, well balanced movie. Much of Harry's flashbacks into Voldemorts past were left out and there was even a few added scenes, that I won't mention, that never appeared in the book. David Heyman also produced The Order of the Phoenix, and is currently shooting The Deathly Hallows. The film is split into two parts, the first of which is due out November 2010. The second will play six months later.
The special effects were stunning, despite a slight hiccup in our schedule that resulted in my nose being about three inches from the screen. The cinematics were well done. The acting, however, had its ups and downs. But more on that later.
The film starts off along the same storyline as the book, with a hand full of scenes left out. The Dudleys never make an appearance. The Death Eaters do, however, with climatic special effects that open the film. Soon after, a scene that does not appear in the book, captures the teenage adolescence of Harry, as his interest in girls, and their interest in him greatly intensifies. Harry is not alone in this, as the love/hate relationship between Ron and Hermione dominate throughout most of the film.
It continues on keeping true to the story. The memories that Dumbledore have collected are shown, but many are left out. The entire story of the Gaunts was not there, a little to my disappointment. Understanding Voldermorts past is of utmost importance if you wish not to be lost in the Deathly Hallows, the seventh and final book of the series. The memory of Voldermorts fist encounter with Dumbledore, as well as the Horcrux memory from Professor Slughorn made the film.
The ending is certainly the most entertaining in the film, as it was in the book. Dumbledore and Harry apperate to a large rock off the coast of England in one of my favorite scenes. Large angry waves pound the small rock as they stand overlooking the nitch carved out of a gigantic cliff, hiding a cave. The music amplifies the intensity of the moment as they prepare to embark on the quest to destroy the things that give Voldemort his immortality - the Horcrux's.
Harry and Dumbledore overlook the cave containing a Horcrux.
The scenes in the cave are dramatic and contain the most frightening scenes from the film. I'm talking about the inferi of course. Inferi being dead bodies magically bewitched to do a Dark wizard's bidding. The escape is equally dramatic as Dumbledores gigantic lassos' of fire fend off the inferi by the hundreds, perhaps showing why he is called the most powerful wizard in the wizarding world.
Dumbledore fights off the inferi with a fiery spell.
But in the end the powerful wizard meets his death by the hands, or wand rather, of Professor Snape, the Half Blood Prince. The movie ends with Harrys commitment to continue the hunt for the remaining Horcrux's. Ron and Hermionie declare their support and vow to help Harry. And so sets the story for the final battle between Harry and Voldemort in The Deathly Hallows.
The most memorable actor for me had to be Jim Broadbent, who played Professor Horace Slughorn. For those who have read the book, Professor Slughorn was well connected. And he was very good at forming relationships with students whose parents were important or powerful people. Jim Broadbent masters this role, whose eyes fit perfectly with his characters personality.
Professor Slughorn hands Harry the Felix Felicis potion.
The were some problems with other actors though. Bonnie Wright, who plays Ginny Weasley, is not an actor. She just is not good or she didn't try. I don't know which. But the scenes she was in seemed fake and unconvincing. She seemed bored, which made her character rather boring. The other kids did well I think, especially Tom Felton, who played Draco Malfoy.
All in all, it was good movie and well worth the wait. Harry Potter fans should definitely see it. And if you're not a Harry Potter fan, you're missing out. The story of Harry Potter will surly become a western icon and sit along side the great stories like Star Wars and Indiana Jones, entertaining millions in the generations to come.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.2
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Funny
5 votes
3.8
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Whistler P. McManus 186,130  44
07/15/2009 03:21 PM
I think you've got to be the most nerdy, geeky dweeb imaginable to be an adult interested in Harry Potter movies.
AND I PLAY THE FIFE!
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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Chix is in da house 286,617 61
07/15/2009 05:03 PM
SNAP!
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
07/15/2009 06:54 PM
Do we get to see Hermione's nipples in this one?
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
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Straw Trekkin Across the Universe 98,019 37
07/15/2009 08:31 PM
despite a slight hiccup in our schedule that resulted in my nose being about three inches from the screen.
I spent the entire day berating myself over the "slight hiccup" while you were busy writing an amazing review. Well done, sweetie.
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
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Straw Trekkin Across the Universe 98,019 37
07/15/2009 09:29 PM
Oh, and speaking as the one who introduced Manhole to the Harry Potter books:
Go fife yourself.
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.3
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Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
07/15/2009 09:55 PM
Go fife yourself
It seems I've accidentally turned on the Continental Army swearbot.
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
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John Hargrave 128,751 73
07/16/2009 04:46 AM
Thank you for the lengthy review, which I will assume was hilarious and well-written ... unfortunately I cannot read it, as I have only read books 1-4. (The more recent ones haven't made their way to Boston yet.)
For articles to make the ZUG homepage, we generally look for true-life comedy stories, not reviews or comedy essays. Also stay away from topical humor.
But thanks for taking the time to post an article (with pictures). I know it was gut-bustingly funny, even if I didn't read it.
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
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Harvey Kettle 1,889 13
07/16/2009 05:22 AM
The memory of Voldermorts fist encounter with Dumbledore
The memory!
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.7
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Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
07/16/2009 10:09 AM
For articles to make the ZUG homepage, we generally look for true-life comedy stories, not reviews or comedy essays. Also stay away from topical humor.
Yes. Please innundate us with tales of prank phone calls harassing some poor working stiff that we've all heard a thousand variations on already, and spare us anything involving actual thought, creativity or writing skill.
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0 votes
0.0
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Anna Garcia 85 4
07/16/2009 01:01 PM
Who is Harry Potter?
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0 votes
0.0
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Chix is in da house 286,617 61
07/17/2009 10:07 AM
Saw it last night.
Do we get to see Hermione's nipples in this one?
No, but there is one scene where there is one heck of a CGI cleavage on the girl. As she is basically flat chested the rest of the movie, there is no way that isn't some sort of awesome makeup job.
Fail on the Greyback character. Fail.
Oh, and Dumbledore dies.
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0 votes
0.0
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Straw Trekkin Across the Universe 98,019 37
07/17/2009 10:46 AM
Fail on the Greyback character. Fail.
I think they renamed him Greychest.
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
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Bean 8,602 19
07/17/2009 11:22 AM
Wow that was the funniest movie review I've ever read.
...
OH wait, no there was a funnier one.
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
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Miss Trixxie 65,026 15
07/17/2009 03:14 PM
You know if we still had a photo gallery we could all see just what a hot geek Manhole is.
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0 votes
0.0
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Chix is in da house 286,617 61
07/17/2009 03:24 PM
Wait, they took the photo gallery down? Not that I've checked it in 11 months, but it was kinda nice to know it was there.
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0 votes
0.0
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Clean Shaven Nipples 2,207 7
07/17/2009 05:48 PM
Yes. Please innundate us with tales of prank phone calls harassing some poor working stiff that we've all heard a thousand variations on already, and spare us anything involving actual thought, creativity or writing skill.
Did you see the look on those people's faces when they received their free cookies and milk? Comedy. Gold.
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
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Dolly P. 6 4
08/15/2009 07:10 AM
AND YOU DIDN'T GET A PICTURE OF SNAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!??????
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0 votes
0.0
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FunkyMunky Aka "Weezy" 316 4
08/15/2009 07:34 AM
I read through the entirety of the article with glee waiting for some sort of witty analysis and was met with just a review...
I WANT MY FIVE MINUTES BACK. TELL HARRY POTTER I WANT THEM BACK.
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0 votes
0.0
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Pop me, I'm Knobby! 169 4
08/16/2009 08:31 PM
Harry Potter IS FOR CHILDREN.
Therefore, if you read Harry Potter you must like children.
Therefore, if you like children you MUST be a paedophile.
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