Thud 68,506 19
07/21/2009 10:26 PM

"I guess it's too late for some lube..."

Alarm Clock the fisher Robot 6,348 4
07/21/2009 11:28 PM

"I think we're going to have to pull out and jack it."

Thud 68,506 19
07/21/2009 11:36 PM

"I thought there's be a diaphragm. And IUD, at least...hell, maybe even some foam."

Alarm Clock the fisher Robot 6,348 4
07/21/2009 11:44 PM

That's how I type when I'm drunk too.

Randall Cleveland 49,019 14
07/22/2009 06:40 AM

"There, we tried it and it doesn't fit, okay? Now let's just go in the front door like god intended."

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
07/22/2009 07:43 AM

Heh, the guy's dead and they're still trying to stick his wiener in Shakespeare.

Chit 178,781 15
07/22/2009 07:52 AM

Please Dear God, if I am gay...send me some kind of a sign.

--Conan O'Brien

FunkyMunkyPunkyWunky 316 4
07/22/2009 09:43 AM

And the blind impotent gays prayed to the said statue for some sort of guidance in life.
Unfortunately, the local deity wasn't in a very good position to give guidance as the weiner had too, been led astray.

Asshat Deluxe 11,439 21
07/22/2009 12:55 PM

"God dammit George, i TOLD you to ask for directions.... You're such a man!"

Asshat Deluxe 11,439 21
07/22/2009 12:57 PM

Dan and Stan were satisfied, they finally found a weiner that could stimualte their sister's G Spot and clit at the same time.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
07/22/2009 03:08 PM

Chit! Where the hell have you been? I've missed you, bro.


Now get busy. I don't need any more black t-shirts.

steamy stool 235 4
07/22/2009 05:34 PM

So that's basically how it's done son, except on a smaller scale. Right in your case a much smaller scale. But remember like your grandfather told me, 'It's not the size of the hot dog, but how tight it fits in the car port.'

Blackhole Bandit 1,684 14
07/22/2009 09:31 PM

RACINE (Reuters) - Sexting while driving leads to amazingly ironic accident.

Jeeni: Currently granting wishes 47,804 51
07/23/2009 01:24 AM

Odd. I was expecting this thread was started by Ditdah.

Warudor 48 4
07/23/2009 02:36 AM

Well, to answer your question, it's kinda like that.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
07/23/2009 02:44 AM

Next time will be easier.

Macka 2.0 1,491 4
07/23/2009 01:50 PM

Dad, why does that house have a hard on?

mrslisa2u 18 3
07/24/2009 12:01 PM

Mom and Dad are gonna be pissed!

TrouserWeasel 22 3
07/24/2009 03:35 PM

It says "knocks it out of the park" not "knock it out of park."

laurapete 5 3
07/25/2009 02:50 PM

I guess we shouldn't have surprised the kids by picking them up after school from high school!

TimmyTheTalkingToilet 11,593 15
07/25/2009 04:25 PM

"Well she said just slam it in."

Sully 605 9
07/26/2009 09:41 AM

We need lube to get it out. We'll spray the inside of the garage with mustard. Go ask permission.

dalejrfan71 6 3
07/26/2009 10:52 PM

Can I park my hot rod in your garage?

Chit 178,781 15
07/27/2009 12:57 AM

Trae must have left the porch light on again.

RRobison 0 3
07/28/2009 08:17 PM

You were texting and eating an Oscar Weenie?

Alarm Clock the Pretired Robot 6,348 4
07/28/2009 09:22 PM

"Damn, Ronnie. Lay off the pot. I know it was red, but that house in no way resembled a big pile of ketchup."

zannord 4 7
07/28/2009 10:22 PM

"Oh, I wish I WEREN'T such an Oscar Meyer Weiner, that is truly what I DON'T want to beee...".

Mr.Coffee 881 10
07/28/2009 11:42 PM

Dude, when I said "It's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway", that's NOT what I was talking about!

CLG Hann 7 3
07/31/2009 04:41 AM

Some people will try to fit anything through their back door.

BeerEye 3 3
08/03/2009 02:41 PM

"So anyway, Arnie, this right here is where I dropped the Viagra. Next thing I know, our Geek Squad VW turned into THIS, and check out the damage!! I'd say we really popped this garage door's cherry, yeah?"

ImpishOne 2 3
08/06/2009 12:08 PM

That was one hell of a tornado last night. This house landed on the weiner mobile and is that Dorothy under there?

I are Nipples 2,207 7
08/07/2009 12:50 PM

That's what she said.

KChikita Banana Box 128,412 98
08/07/2009 12:55 PM

Bill started off stealing small things, like gum and nail files, but soon moved on to bigger challenges.

Unknown Duck 530 6
08/07/2009 01:48 PM

"The rest of the house use to be white"

Dweezle 5 5
08/10/2009 09:12 PM

Take This Job and Shove It!!!

Phuc 237,919 21
08/11/2009 08:18 AM

"You think this is bad, how the hell are we gonna clean up the yuge puddle of honey mustard in the living room?"

subhuman 576 4
08/12/2009 05:52 PM

No, I don't need an ambulance. My weiner's caught in the door.

The High Priestess 58,955 29
08/12/2009 08:04 PM

'Just the Tip' FTW!

Alarm Clock, Carpentier's Robot 6,348 4
08/13/2009 05:49 AM

"Yeah, Blake. Now that I've finally faced and conquered my homophobia, I decided to go out and get the car I've always wanted."

Michael B 0 3
08/14/2009 09:30 AM

You know that saying, "It's like throwing a hot dog down a hall way."?