FunkyMunkyPunkyWunky 316 4
07/22/2009 03:58 PM

Very well written!
First article so far that's actually made me crack a smile!

Kudos to you!!

Alarm Clock the fisher Robot 6,348 4
07/22/2009 04:01 PM

20 inches!!!

That's a hell of a string of anal beads to be pulling out of your poor cat.

Asshat Deluxe 11,439 21
07/22/2009 04:02 PM

little cat anus.

well it was until you pulled the rabbit out of the Frost-ing hat!

Asshat Deluxe 11,439 21
07/22/2009 04:03 PM

MMMEEEEOOOOOOWWWWW


Funny, when I pull things (ie. my Coleridge) out of my cat's ass, she climaxes differently.

Bob Monkeypimp 460 0
07/22/2009 07:27 PM

That's nothing, my cat ate a whole call of yarn and later went on to give birth to mittens..

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
07/22/2009 08:15 PM

whole call of yarn


If you're not a seventy year old lady, you have no business saying that!

There's only one Ditdah 123,110 14
07/22/2009 08:19 PM

My cat made a poop balloon, and I helped.

Holy crap, I actually snorted out loud. And that is sad when you're sitting in a room by yourself, save for the dog, who looks at you like you're insane.

Wonderful article! Thanks for the laugh!

Dogs Akimbo 211,597 32
07/22/2009 09:58 PM

Unobnoxious noobs are ruining Zug.

Bean 8,602 19
07/22/2009 10:35 PM

I hope this was quite a while ago, and that the cat is ok... because I"ve heard that pulling things like that out of ... *erm* openings can cause intestinal injury.

/serious

I wonder what it felt like to have a ball of Shakespeare PULLED from his ass for 20 inches.

Macka 2.0 1,491 4
07/22/2009 10:37 PM

The cat is doing just fine. Me on the other hand, I still struggle and birthday party's and other celebrations.

Macka 2.0 1,491 4
07/22/2009 10:38 PM

Unobnoxious noobs are ruining Zug

Did I do something wrong? If given enough time, I'm sure I can be just as obnoxious as the rest of you.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
07/23/2009 02:11 AM

I so want a balloon shaped like poop. Thanks for the great idea; which I plan to use for my husbands B-day.

Macka 2.0 1,491 4
07/23/2009 11:27 AM

I so want a balloon shaped like poop. Thanks for the great idea; which I plan to use for my husbands B-day.

It's a pretty easy recipe.


House Cat Poop Balloon

Ingredients
1 whole Cat (if you are out of cat, dog or goat will do)
20" balloon string
1 set rubber gloves (or double folded paper towels)

Cooking Directions
Let the string 'bake' in the cat for several days. (you'll know when it's done because it will be hanging out of the cat's bad place.)
Pull string.
Enjoy balloon.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
07/23/2009 11:53 AM

Nicely done, Macca! A fiver for your cherry-busting article!

You might enjoy my tale of kitty troubles, found here.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
07/23/2009 11:55 AM

And don't worry about Dogs. First of all, I don't think he's talking about you. There are at least three other n00bs rearing their ugly heads in this thread, and even if he is talking about you, did you expect Dogs to like a story about cats?

Pudding Pops the Rhymnocerous 1,379 9
07/29/2009 11:27 PM

Is it just me or is that Jesus in that there belly button cat ass?

Fratberry 283,033 53
07/30/2009 03:29 PM

i am so turned on right now

Fratberry 283,033 53
07/30/2009 03:33 PM

Realizing I am late for work, I decide to speed up the process so I just YANK the string out as fast as I could.

ZIPMMMEEEEOOOOOOWWWWW -- he darts off, bounces off the couch and is gone in an instant.


By the way, this is the most awesome way ever to start up your cat.

HellaKlutz 6 7
07/30/2009 04:49 PM

Ah-hahahaha! That was hilarious. I've been there, too. Cats have a knack for eating things that need to be yanked out of the other end later on. The "I helped" part made me giggle.

Dogs Akimbo, don't be such a noob.

D.B. Cooper 1,800 12
07/30/2009 05:09 PM

My cat made a poop balloon, and I helped.

Bahahaha that cracked me up.

Folken 129 4
07/30/2009 05:13 PM

Bahahaha that cracked me up.

No no, that cracked up poor kitty's poop shooter

helloooo nurse 379 8
07/30/2009 05:30 PM

That is how my brother's cat got the name Flossie...........Dental floss........

Thud 68,511 19
07/30/2009 05:33 PM

You'd never guess how my cat Blaze got his name.

Mr.Coffee 881 10
07/31/2009 12:16 AM

so, when you got back later, did you cat give you the "I haven't forgotten what you did" look, or just buy you dinner?

Macka 2.0 1,491 4
07/31/2009 11:29 AM

so, when you got back later, did you cat give you the "I haven't forgotten what you did" look, or just buy you dinner?

Dinner!
...followed by a DVD marathon of :

Garfield: The Movie
The Truth About Cats and Dogs
Cats - The Musical (DVD Commemorative Edition)
and
Flight of the Red Balloon (go figure...)

Closet Friend 7,665 11
07/31/2009 12:13 PM

Logged in just to five-orb your article! But then I read your last post...

Macka 2.0 1,491 4
07/31/2009 12:18 PM

Yes. I immdiately regretted posting it.

Newb lesson learned: More preview, less submit.

steamy stool 235 4
07/31/2009 12:26 PM

Macka, being a noob myself, I'm pretty sure you got the lesson wrong, so I fixed it for you.

Newb lesson learned: Give more head.preview, less submit.

Bob Monkeypimp ($5 a Chimp) 460 0
07/31/2009 01:14 PM

You'll never guess how my cat Sodomy got his name...

Mr Crabs 305 7
07/31/2009 01:43 PM

Great story and one that I can relate to.
My five year old approached me to say that "there's a blue thing sticking out of Thomas' butt". In my case however I just had to grab 'the blue thing' and the cat took off (screaming)down the hall leaving me standing there with a three foot long piece of poop covered nylon tarp fabric and a freaked out five year old. When the cat took off it kinda looked like one of the those pull toys where you pull the string and it bombs around the room. Much freakier though. I learned that a cat is not a Kinder Surprise. Keep the prize inside!

Mr Crabs 305 7
07/31/2009 01:46 PM

OMFG...I'm at the nursing home visiting my aging father. He's wearing one of those hospital gowns and well...there's a pink thing....
Should I go for it???

Mr Crabs 305 7
07/31/2009 02:23 PM

I guess that explains the scootin'

Mr Crabs 305 7
08/06/2009 12:18 PM

Dang, just a hemorrhoid. I wanted a balloon.

Bob Monkeypimp III 460 0
08/08/2009 08:25 AM

You probably like sticking your Coleridge up your cats ass. Reminds you of the baby-anus you normally defile.. Nonce.

subhuman 576 4
08/12/2009 11:10 AM

A similar story happened with my brother and a piece of mint-flavored dental floss. Of course, being smarter than a cat (not by much, though, apparently) he panicked a lot more.

My mom was the hero of that story. Quote from my dad: "With your fingers?"

I thought it was absolutely hilarious until I wet myself laughing.

Mr Crabs 305 7
08/19/2009 09:34 AM

Must have made the floss taste funny.

Alarm Clock the Chubby Robot 6,348 4
09/09/2009 08:36 PM

Macka, you sick bastard. I found your cat.

Trickster 175 4
09/10/2009 01:10 PM

My cat overdosed on eggs. He choked on his own omlette.

Yuoaman 123 6
10/05/2009 09:48 AM

But what if your cat gets the rumblies that only balloons can satisfy?