peoriagrace 6,166 11
08/02/2009 03:30 AM

Any half way decent looking female has.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
08/02/2009 05:20 AM

I've never seen a pic of you, Grace, but your lack of a concrete suggestion would suggest that you are not halfway decent looking.

I'm sorry.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
08/02/2009 05:23 AM

The foulest example I can think of is this classic. You simply ask the lady, "Would you care to dance?"

If she says yes, everything is great, and you take the dance and see where it leads.

If she says no, you say, "Then I suppose a blowjob is out of the question?"

Mighty Kind 36,177 48
08/02/2009 07:44 AM

Co-worker wound up getting us kicked out of a bar in Boulder with this one.

him: Excuse me, would you sleep with me for 1 million dollars.

her(after thinking for a second or two): Umm yeah, sure.

him: Cool, now that we know what you are lets work on a better price.

her: SLAP!

A Summer Sweaty Ass......HAT 11,439 21
08/02/2009 10:49 AM

I've been a DJ at bars for years. I have heard some real winners;


I actually saw this transpire. She walks in, immediately goes to the dance floor... He starts grinding with her, she turns around and shoots him a look. (so he poked her on the ass instead of the shoulder, big deal) He says (and I'm not making this up) Those tits are amazing, can I titty Frost them? She threw her FULL drink in his face. About ten of us INCLUDING ME got splashed.

Another was tame. He talked to her for a while and then asked her if she liked to give head. She started rebuffing his advances from that point on. He got dirtier, "What about anal?" so she yelled at him and told him to Frost off. Then he accused her of being a cokehead to which point she threw HER drink at him INCLUDING the glass it was in. Thankfully I wasn't in the line of fire for that one.

I am guilty of bad advances...

One time a girl asked me what she had to do to get me to play Macarena.

Suck my Coleridge was the answer.

No success.

Macka 2.0 1,491 4
08/02/2009 01:05 PM

The worst one I ever did was when I was drunk at a bar once. A friend of mine had gotten rejected by this pretentious chic and was feeling pretty bad about it. I on the other had, was drunk and feeling frisky, so I told him to watch and learn.

I walked up to her and asked if I could buy her a drink. She said sure, so I ordered, and as we are waiting, I decided to make my "move"

Me: What's your name?
Her: It's *********
Me: Hi *********, I'm Macka. Nice to meet you.
Her: Nice to meet you too.
Me: So, do you like to gamble?
Her: Yeah, sometimes, why?
Me: Cause, I'll bet you that you can't fit all of my Coleridge in your mouth.

She slapped me in the face.

I took the drink I bought her and walked off.

I think I won the "most high fived drunk" award that night.

Alcohol is a hell of a drug.

Bob Monkeypimp ($5 a Chimp) 460 0
08/02/2009 01:19 PM

My girlfriend (the absolute love of my life) pulled me by spreading her legs, fingering herself and asking me if I'd like to come into her Poe parlour.. Amazing... Love at first sight...

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
08/02/2009 03:02 PM

My girlfriend (the absolute love of my life) pulled me by spreading her legs, fingering herself and asking me if I'd like to come into her Poe parlour.. Amazing... Love at first sight...


Simians don't count jerkoff!

A Summer Sweaty Ass......HAT 11,439 21
08/02/2009 03:32 PM

My girlfriend (the absolute love of my life) pulled me by spreading her legs, fingering herself and asking me if I'd like to come into her Poe parlour.. Amazing... Love at first sight...

I thought women at the brothel weren't allowed to date clients.

Reverend Dave Rodriguez 2,413 0
08/02/2009 03:37 PM

I have escaped without luck or harm with 'Nice socks, wanna Frost?' All three times.

Folken 129 4
08/02/2009 10:56 PM

On my 21st birthday we went to a bar with a couple of college friends, after 12 tequila worms I was feeling adventurous, so I decided to go and try to play casanova with the hot barwoman of the place, my memories of that episode goes like this:

- Me going downstairs (we were on the 2nd floor)
- Me approaching the barwoman
- She laughing and being cute
- She giving me an evil look
- She slapping me
- Her boyfriend (one of the bodyguards of the bar) kicking me and my friends out of the place
- My friends laughing at me after I told them what happened

I don't remember what I said, but I'm sure as hell it had something to do with anal sex.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
08/03/2009 02:00 AM

Ok here goes.

You have perfect breasts let me touch them.
He ran too fast for me to catch him.

Take me home and Frost me.
Slugged

If I told you, you have a beautiful body will you hold still long enough for me to Frost you.
He was in a car, I was walking.

Nice ass!
He was in a car, I was walking.

Hey why don't you ride me.
He was in a car I was riding my bike.

Want to have a foursome?
This from a guy I had dated twice; and had only kissed.
Never spoke to him again not even to break off the dating.

Alright that's it I'm not trying to remember anymore; as it's PISSING ME OFF!

Count Ravos 63,472 21
08/04/2009 09:53 AM

Whistler, that one truly is a classic. Consider it stolen.

I think I've posted this here before, but a friend of a friend went up to a girl and asked:

"Hey, my buddy bet me $100 that I couldn't talk to the hottest girl in here. Can you help me find her?"

Millie 116,988 28
08/04/2009 10:28 AM

I've never slapped anyone who used a stupid or offensive pick-up line on me. The worst I've done is laugh or roll my eyes.

I can't think of anything that bad, though. Usually it's something to do with my boobs or something.

Also, to the original poster--are you friends with Pram? Those lines sound like the kind of thing he'd say.

Azeroth Exile 129 4
08/04/2009 10:28 AM

I had an acquaintance in college that used this one:

"I have a small penis. That might be a true statement or a false one, want to go back to my place to find out." It worked 1 time that I know of.

Disco Bob 4,322 8
08/04/2009 10:45 AM

Frost me if I'm wrong, but aren't you Mellisa? (eyes rolled, told to go away)

Nice shoes wanna Frost? (this one actually worked once on a drunk girl at spring break)

You're hot I'm horney lets get toghether and make a spearmint rhino(laughed in my face.)

Wow! (I didn't mean it as a pickup line she was hot and I just said wow, she didn't give me her number but she said I had just made her day).

peoriagrace 6,166 11
08/04/2009 01:48 PM

Ok I remembered another. I was 9 yrs old. A neighbor boy who was 11 had a crush on me.
His line:I love you and to prove it I'm going to kill your cat.

Me: you kill my cat and I'll hate you forever and will hurt you.

Him: Why?!

Me: I love my cat and don't want him dead.

Him: Oh ok.

Count Ravos 63,472 21
08/04/2009 01:53 PM

His line:I love you and to prove it I'm going to kill your cat.

Me: you kill my cat and I'll hate you forever and will hurt you.

Him: Why?!

Me: I love my cat and don't want him dead.

Him: Oh ok. I will kill your cat and wear it as a suit, so you think I'm your cat, and thus love me back.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
08/04/2009 02:05 PM

You've been in his shoes, haven't you Ravos?

Count Ravos 63,472 21
08/04/2009 02:15 PM

Naw, I think you've mistaken me for Pram.

steamy stool 235 4
08/04/2009 02:22 PM

I said it in Shell Belle's thread, and I'll say it again.

Hey baby, you make my pee-pee go up. Let me buy you a drink.

Will never get to use it as I'm already taken, but I guarantee that it will work.

The Dwork in Woodworking 1,071 8
08/04/2009 07:24 PM

"Hey, my buddy bet me $100 that I couldn't talk to the hottest girl in here. Can you help me find her?"

Yep, he used to use that one a LOT, before they got truly offensive.



are you friends with Pram? Those lines sound like the kind of thing he'd say.

No, Millie, in fact I've never met any of you people. Only through binoculars.

Prof.Fantabulous 19,711 13
08/04/2009 08:08 PM

"Thanks a lot you stupid bitch, you made me cream my pants!"