Reverend Dave Rodriguez 2,330 0
08/05/2009 05:14 AM

Ok, so I'm going to put an empty bottle under the seat and just tell them we just discovered your wife's body when you get across town, right?

Thud 53,050 10
08/05/2009 05:17 AM

"Did you check for a body? I didn't check for a body, either. Maybe we should be doing something."

"Uh,...who wants to get some donuts?"

Alarm, Virgil's Robot 5,973 4
08/05/2009 06:00 AM

"I'm sorry Andre, I know you're one of us, but procedure is procedure. We can't find the perp and you're the nearest black guy. We're taking you in."

Whistler P. McManus 141,130 21
08/05/2009 06:18 AM

"I thought maybe the reason I looked like a tool in this uniform was that I'm only four feet tall, but you must be close to six feet and you look like a tool, too. Could it be the hats?"

Macka 2.0 1,465 2
08/05/2009 06:23 AM

"I'm sorry Andre, I know you're one of us, but procedure is procedure. We can't find the perp and you're the nearest black guy. We're taking you in."

Wait, wait, wait.

Whut?

I don't see any black folks in that pic? And fresh off my appointment as board wanna-be, I think I'd know one when I see one.

Reverend Dave Rodriguez 2,330 0
08/05/2009 06:25 AM

Macka, you don't actually have to be black to be arrested for being black. Just not white.

A Summer Sweaty Ass......HAT 2,009 3
08/05/2009 06:30 AM

Right Reverend, but these guys are whiter than snow.

Unless there's a darkie camoflaging himself by that burnt out car, this pic is minority free!

Whistler P. McManus 141,130 21
08/05/2009 06:38 AM

Tall is the new black.

Alarm, Virgil's Robot 5,973 4
08/05/2009 06:40 AM

Cops only get tanned on their left arm. That guy is definitely not white.

The picture is not minority free. There are two white cops right there.

Laptop Larry 20 1
08/05/2009 01:36 PM

Its a great bow tie what can I Say

another419junky 9 1
08/05/2009 02:08 PM

"But dad I only meant to take it round the block, honest"

subhuman 535 2
08/14/2009 08:15 PM

"Dispatch said there was a car fire out here. I don't see a car on fire. Do you see a car on fire?"

I are Nipples 2,121 5
08/14/2009 09:39 PM

Did you guys see The Bachelorette last night?

Space Admiral BobJohnson 165,461 10
08/14/2009 09:53 PM

"Looks like it burned about half a tank of gasoline in the five minutes it was sitting there, so write down 'GM' for the make."

KChikita Banana Box 50,342 11
08/14/2009 09:56 PM

OMGWTFELEVENTY!!! It's BOBJOHNSON!

::squeee!::

Redwing 1,935 10
08/15/2009 06:32 AM

"I'm telling ya guys, these new tasers are the Frost-ing bomb!"

Alarm Clock, Carpentier's Robot 5,973 4
08/15/2009 06:58 AM

"Hey, wait a second, I just got an idea how to solve an old double homicide. Does anyone have an extra black glove that doesn't fit?"

Starshine*) 2 1
08/16/2009 08:54 AM

IF I TOLD YOU ONCE, IVE SAID IT A THOUSAND TIMES SARGENT, QUIT PLAYING AROUND, MINIVANS DO NOT DO WELL IN HIGH SPEED CHASES.

Sully 350 7
08/16/2009 09:24 PM

"Okay, if we say that he was a suspected murderer, that explains why we ran him off the road. Now how do we explain to the chief our unauthorised use of the flamethrower?"

Clive McClure 922 3
08/17/2009 04:21 PM

It seems the driver is not responding to verbal commands, what next captain?

Pop me, I'm Knobby! 148 1
08/17/2009 05:08 PM

"Shoot him in the head until he complies, seargent!!"

FunkyMunky Aka "Weezy" 312 1
08/17/2009 05:36 PM

"Look officers.. You seem like quite a reasonable bunch of guys...



Oh wait, whats that over there in the other direction?"

*Runs*

Mr Crabs 276 3
08/17/2009 10:20 PM

...then I said, 'get your own Frostin' donuts you big dope, and then...oh crap...he's right behind me isn't he?

Mr Crabs 276 3
08/18/2009 06:50 PM

C'mon Barney...you got to have the bullet last time.

Sully 350 7
08/18/2009 09:13 PM

No, YOU said that Mythbusters proved it wouldn't light on fire if I shot the gas tank. So YOU take the wrap!

mielke 1,438 3
08/19/2009 09:35 AM

Listen Mac the good news is there is no casualties .....bad news this car is registered to you !

Mr.Coffee 807 8
08/19/2009 11:26 AM

No, you dumbass! the 16,000 go in the ashtray after they're cremated.

Bob the wonder-bot 18 1
08/19/2009 08:00 PM

Ok sorry I'm late, so tell me what's going on out here?

mielke 1,438 3
08/19/2009 10:23 PM

That car is toasted....which makes me think Quizno's for lunch

Pubah 47,449 11
08/21/2009 02:00 AM

After a hard day of fighting crime, I like to refresh and relax with a tall can of BOOTY SWEAT.

mielke 1,438 3
08/21/2009 02:11 AM

"Turns out Mac that this was a terrorist plot to take out the Pentagon"

"Well what went wrong? The Pentagon is no where near hear Earl."

"Also turns out that Bin Laden started to recruit bombers with down syndrome"

If nothing else we know he is an equal opportunity employer

PorterHouse Steak 444 1
08/21/2009 04:46 PM

It's ok man, everybody drinks and drives... at least we had enough time to put that hitchhiker's body you hit in the car and burn it before anybody else showed up. MAN, that was some hell of a night!!

Gonzo 17,590 12
08/21/2009 05:12 PM

"...so I thought he was saying: 'Don't taze me, man! I'm covered in VASEline..."

Shaun Davids 2 1
08/26/2009 11:47 PM

"When I said take the car on a crash course, I never meant it literally!"

Tim McDonald 0 1
08/28/2009 10:12 PM

John. I hope you paid the insurance this month!

zilch 2 1
08/29/2009 01:27 PM

Dammit Bob, we've been waiting two hours for you to get back with the marshmallows

mielke 1,438 3
08/29/2009 05:17 PM

"Look guys I really don't care that much but i just wish you would stick to burning crosses because then there is less paper work."

Cranky 562 5
08/31/2009 04:36 PM

Look, all I'm sayin' is we have to get 153 more signatures on our petition so we can get some frickin' hats that fit properly.

Nicole Francis 1 1
08/31/2009 07:51 PM

"Bob, I told you dunking and driving was dangerous"

"Sorry, sarge. I just couldn't resist that morning donut"

LittleBrownBook 3 2
09/02/2009 02:40 AM

Jimmy, your son is dead... SHUT UP!..STOP CRYING!..
now Peter already apologized.. I don't know why he burned the car down after running your kid over, but whats done is done..
Now Peter...fair is fair... you gotta let Jimmy punch you in the nads"

redrockriot 61 1
09/10/2009 07:08 AM

That SUV hate group is gettin' real scary down these parts!