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We all do things wrong when we're kids. I did my share but rarely got caught. However, like any common person when you aren't careful, you get caught.
Back in 1990 there was this neighborhood family everyone hated. The type of people who would sue you for the most ridiculous reasons. They once even called the police on a neighbor for loudly having a party, AT THREE IN THE AFTERNOON!
Another time, their next door neighbors cat had kittens between their houses. They took the cats to the animal shelter saying they were homeless.
There was the parents... The mother was a fat ugly slob & the father was a crazy Vietnam vet who's body odor could killl a skunk from 50 paces.
Except that this couple is more attractive
Then there was their three bastard darling children. The oldest son was a pudgy rude little brat who would try to run anyone and anything over with his bike. The middle child (another son) loved to torture the neighborhood animals. The youngest daughter was ok, we never seemed to see her. (Probably because the other two sons had her chained up in the basement for their sexual pleasure)
It even seemed like everyone was moving out because of them.
Two friends from school (who didn't know them) and I took their phone number and began making crank calls to these people. From the school pay phone. This is before caller ID, so we felt pretty safe. The family knew my voice so 99% of the time my friends made the calls.
It was mostly simple stuff, stupid refrigerator running and Albert in a can ones.
We got bored with the juvenile Shakespeare so we stepped it up a notch. Thats when we went way too far...
The first time, we called them and told the wife that her husband had been killed in a fiery auto wreck across town and she needed to come identify the body.
except that I'd hit that Shakespeare. (Then again we all wanted to hit the woman in question too, with a sledgehammer.)
The second "too far" call came from somewhere in Massachusetts. I was on the way home at 1am from a bus trip to Boston with my family. At a rest stop I went to the pay phone and called them with this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3pW-Vs1pJg
(I shouted the first 2 to 3 seconds over and over.)
I imagine they were less than thrilled with the 1am Ike Turner wake up call. Of course I bet the fiery wreck call was frowned upon as well.
The following Tuesday we hatched a plan to call the house and tell whoever answered that their son had gotten in trouble for masturbating in class.
(I looked for a funny picture for here but you just would not believe what comes up when you search online for masturbating in school!)
As soon as the father got on the phone I started in on our plan, little did I know I picked the wrong day to be the one to call...
ME: Mr. S? This is Mr. Johnson (heh). Your son Jesse is a perverted pig. We caught him playing with himself in his English class today.
MR S.: oh really? I see, go on
ME: You need to come pick him up as he will be suspended for a long time.
MR S.: (to someone in the room) Yeah, its them again.
ME: What was that?
MR S.: Oh you'll see....
Just then I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard: THIS IS THE POLICE! YOU NEED TO COME WITH ME!
This began the worst few weeks of my life....
First I was interrogated as if I had bombed the school. Because I was under 16 they couldn't arrest me so they had my parents come in and get me (which was WORSE than jail). I had to go to court. I got a court appointed lawyer. Either I was in HUGE trouble or else he just wanted to see if he could scare the Shakespeare out of me.
You could tell the judge thought it was funny when he read over the complaint. Since I hadn't been in trouble before, he fined my parents for raising such an awful Emerson since I didn't have a job. I was also sentenced to 16 hours of community service. (Two 8 hour days) at a local Foodlink. I spent 16 hours opening cereal boxes, and leaving a turd in them and removing a dangerous toy and covering the hole with a sticker so that it was safe to give to the homeless.
Since that time, I have behaved myself and not made any prank phone calls... Now, getting arrested for threatening my ex wife, thats a different story!
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Like This? Rate It!
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Funny
9 votes
3.0
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
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A Summer Sweaty Ass......HAT 11,439  21
08/09/2009 09:20 AM
One thing I forgot to mention...
I moved out of that area but my parents still live there...
The oldest son got arrested for burglarizing houses
The middle son is gay now
The youngest daughter has 4 children (she is 23) and lives with her parents.
Whatta family!
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0 votes
0.0
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John Hargrave 128,751 73
08/10/2009 10:56 AM
That's crazy. Where were you making the fateful phone call, and where did the police find you?
Thanks for the story and photos!
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0 votes
0.0
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Chix is in da house 286,621 61
08/10/2009 12:06 PM
I'm guessing the school safety officer had been informed and was waiting for a call from the neighbor to catch whomever was on the school payphone at the time?
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
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Reverend Dave Rodriguez 2,413 0
08/10/2009 12:26 PM
Had a wonderful neighbor similar than that. I used to pee in their roses when drunk to retaliate and sometimes ring the doorbell at 2 am, the upstairs neighbor was worse than me, he poisoned some meat and threw it down to their dogs, who then died. the next morning, we sat outside laughing at their misery. I felt bad for the dogs, but you know, acceptable losses.
They finally moved out when my friend rang the doorbell on them and the husband knocked on our door, when my friend opened the door(I was conveniently filming in the living room other things), he busted in and attacked my friend. We all beat his ass like it had never been beaten before and called the cops. We agreed that we would not press charges if they moved out to never return for any reason via a restraining order. They had to sell their condo at a several thousand dollar loss.
Sweet, sweet revenge. One of the very few times in my life I was able to completely destroy the lives of a family without consequence. I am still proud of that day.
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.3
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A Summer Sweaty Ass......HAT 11,439 21
08/10/2009 02:48 PM
That's crazy. Where were you making the fateful phone call, and where did the police find you?
Just like the poster after you said. At school. We had phones across from the cafeteria and didn't think they'd find out.
Unfortunately it wasn't a school safety officer, it was a cop.
I couldn't have been more embarrassed. Even if the cop had made me walk down the hallway naked.
This was when I was in 9th or 10th grade. WELL past the point of "Being smart enough to change locations" "should've known better than to do that"
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
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funnybroad12345 22 5
08/12/2009 01:58 PM
I am a little disappointed. This was funny but I figured with a title like "Getting caught" it would be about getting caught masturbating or something. I love masturbation stories!
I was wet, but at least you made me laugh.
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Side-splitting
1 votes
5.0
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Dogs Akimbo 211,597 32
08/12/2009 02:35 PM
I love masturbation stories!
I just masturbated to one of those furry cartoons.
The End.
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0 votes
0.0
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Count Ravos 63,472 21
08/12/2009 02:47 PM
I was wet, but at least you made me laugh.
You were reading it in the shower!?!?111!one
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Mr Crabs 305 7
08/12/2009 03:07 PM
Way to treat a vet Emerson! And I suppose being overweight is a good reason to harass someone.
Haaa...only jokin'...I really don't give a Shakespeare. Prank away.
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