Alarm Clock, Carpentier's Robot 6,348 4
08/14/2009 11:52 PM

[/rhetorical]

But it's so easy to copy and paste.

My wife married a Frost-ing retard!

Alarm Clock, Carpentier's Robot 6,348 4
08/15/2009 12:06 AM

I have no room to talk though, as I've tried on numerous occasions to show old homemade intimate video tapes to new girlfriends. No sense of humor.

Pssst. You. Not you. You. It's the 8mm with the red trim.

Redwing 3,887 30
08/15/2009 12:16 AM

Apperently your wifes ex-husband doesn't think she is as blind as you say. Even if she can see, it's his brother in the coffin, not hers. Whats the big deal?

Redwing 3,887 30
08/15/2009 12:24 AM

Apparently

Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Zolton 88,214 34
08/15/2009 07:04 AM

My wife's ex-husband just e-mailed a picture of his dead brother in his coffin to Robyn. HIS Frost-ing COFFIN!

Well, what would you want him to send pictures of his dead brother in? His sleeping bag? A clown suit? A snuff film?

Sicko.

Pram 80,728 42
08/15/2009 09:35 AM

My wife's ex-husband just e-mailed a picture of his dead brother in his coffin to Robyn. HIS Frost-ing COFFIN!

I don't follow... Did he have another coffin he didn't have sex in? Maybe it was a multipurpose coffin? I would imagine you could sleep in it, Frost in it, play Jenga...

MungChamp 35,891 35
08/15/2009 09:52 AM

Useless without pictures.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
08/15/2009 10:39 AM

Your wife is in contact with her ex, do they have children together or have they know each other for a long time?

I have no contact with my ex.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
08/15/2009 11:52 AM

My son is biologically his. discuss!

Alarm Clock, Carpentier's Robot 6,348 4
08/15/2009 12:09 PM

That makes it legal to beat him with a claw hammer if he's certifiably retarded, which I don't think you'll have a problem proving.

subhuman 576 4
08/15/2009 01:04 PM

She should thank him for the pictures and remind him to send her pics of himself in his own coffin.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
08/15/2009 02:23 PM

You know how women are. Always thinking with their vaginas. It's not about intelligence, it the size of the package that matters.



Now I have you thinking about your wife's ex-husband's package.



And now I'm thinking about how I indirectly speculated on the size of
your package by saying that your wife likes her men well hung.



And now I'm thinking of the best way to erase those thoughts from my head. Some bleach and a brillo pad should do nicely.

Macka 2.0 1,491 4
08/15/2009 05:22 PM

You should have replied from her email and said:

Wrong one, I said for YOU to drop dead.

or

Sorry, I guess god is hard of hearing, I said strike down my ex lover. He must have heard my ex's brother.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
08/15/2009 09:11 PM

So Bill, you must have some funny stories about her ex?

Crash Test Dummy 3,671 9
08/15/2009 09:19 PM

I first misread this bit, so I originally was under the impression that your wife's ex had taken a picture of himself Frost-ing the coffin of his dead brother while this one was lying in it for his final rest. I read it again and got it straight.













It was way funnier when I was still under the spell of misinterpretation...

Straw Trekkin Across the Universe 98,019 37
08/15/2009 11:38 PM

I imagine that people came eagerly into this thread, tripping over themselves to agree with you that yes, you are stupid. I am not one of those people. The humor there is just way too obvious. I prefer humor that is subtle, and unexpected.


Anyway, if you were expecting humor that is subtle and unexpected from me, you are Shakespeare out of luck. According to the TV, solar flares can have devastating effects on earth. Manhole says that is bullShakespeare. I'm too drunk to care. Except about spelling errors. I do care about spelling errors. Enough that it takes a long time to craft these posts in my state. I'm not funny, but you can damn well expect me to be lacking in spelling errors. I hope.

Dogs Akimbo 211,601 32
08/16/2009 09:32 AM

Sometimes I'll split an infinite on purpose just to randomly get Straw all excited.

Pop me, I'm Knobby! 169 4
08/16/2009 09:33 AM

Didn't know they made braille computers..

Millie 116,988 28
08/16/2009 11:33 AM

Bill, the reason I think you're stupid is not because your wife chose you--I would assume she's the stupid one for that. The reason I think you're stupid is because you are upset that your blind wife got a photograph. If you think it would upset her, why tell her about it? How is she going to know?

My ex-husband has two brothers. I would not be one bit upset if he sent me a picture of one of them in a coffin. Both were douchebags who treated me like crap (except the uptight one used to always try to cop a feel and always kissed me on the lips when he saw me).

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
08/16/2009 12:49 PM

TO: Millie

CC: everyone else


Yes, my wife is legally blind. She is not however, completely blind. She has some vision. So with her special software she can see the computer.

P.S. discuss

P.P.S. stop hitting on my wife Millie.

Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Zolton 88,214 34
08/16/2009 12:55 PM

Is this her 'special software'?



C'mon, admit it. You're married to Waldo, aren't you?

subhuman 576 4
08/16/2009 01:13 PM

(except the uptight one used to always try to cop a feel and always kissed me on the lips when he saw me)

He couldn't have been but so uptight if he was macking on his brother's wife.

Dogs Akimbo 211,601 32
08/16/2009 01:14 PM

Is that what Macka's name means?

Millie 116,988 28
08/16/2009 10:14 PM

P.P.S. stop hitting on my wife Millie.

Why you worried that I'm gonna steal her away from you? I could, you know, if I wanted to.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
08/17/2009 07:41 AM

P.P.S. stop hitting on my wife Millie.

Why you worried that I'm gonna steal her away from you? I could, you know, if I wanted to.


You gonna fly out here to steal her, or should I send her to you?

Chance 171,275 14
08/17/2009 07:43 AM

It would probably depend on the postage, Bill....and if she costs too much to send Millie probably wouldnt want her fat ass anyways.

subhuman 576 4
08/17/2009 11:19 AM

If you're going to mail your wife, make sure it's next day delivery. Or at least make sure she's wearing Depends.

KChikita Banana Box 128,417 98
08/17/2009 11:27 AM

Don't forget to stab holes in the top of the box so she can breath!

KChikita Banana Box 128,417 98
08/17/2009 11:51 AM

"...so she can breath"?? Really, KChick? You're losing your touch.

I are Nipples 2,207 7
08/18/2009 11:35 AM

My son is biologically his. discuss!

Bill's stupid.

Alarm Clock the Chubby Robot 6,348 4
08/18/2009 12:01 PM

My son is biologically his. discuss!

Bill's stupid decent.



Shhh... don't tell anyone.

I are Nipples 2,207 7
08/18/2009 04:08 PM

HEY EVERYONE!! LOOK WHAT ALARM CLOCK SAID!!!

My son is biologically his. discuss!

Bill's stupid decent.



Shhh... don't tell anyone.

You didn't hear that from me though.

Chance 171,275 14
08/18/2009 04:43 PM

Youre retarded.

Alarm Clock the Chubby Robot 6,348 4
08/18/2009 05:21 PM

HEY NIPPLES!! LOOK WHAT I JUST SAID!!!

Shhh... don't tell anyone.

Blabber-mouth jack-ass.

Dr. Shempo The Heavy Metal Stooge 22,222 17
08/18/2009 07:26 PM

I just found out in this thread that Bill's wife is blind.



So I have to ask a few questions.

1. Bill, when you get pissed off at your wife, do you rearrange all the furniture?

2. How does she know when shes done wiping her ass?

3. Have you ever subsituted a friends dick for your own during sex? Like when you're tired or you just cant get your flaccid, limp noodle of a dick up to have sex with her blind ass one more time?

4. Can you get away with flogging the Molly in front of her?

5. Does she have super-human senses like Daredevil?
I guess if she did, shed be able to sense the funiture thing, the stand-in dick, and the jerking off thing.

6. Nevermind.

BillyP 53,270 54
08/18/2009 09:07 PM

1. Bill, when you get pissed off at your wife, do you rearrange all the furniture?

Duh!


2. How does she know when shes done wiping her ass?

How the Frost should I know?


3. Have you ever subsituted a friends dick for your own during sex? Like when you're tired or you just cant get your flaccid, limp noodle of a dick up to have sex with her blind ass one more time?

No, Has your boyfriend ever done that to you?(that you know of?)


4. Can you get away with flogging the Molly in front of her?

Yes.

5. Does she have super-human senses like Daredevil?
I guess if she did, shed be able to sense the funiture thing, the stand-in dick, and the jerking off thing.

No, but she can smell when I take my shoes off from 2 rooms away.



6. Nevermind.


Smartest thing you have said today, Dick head!

Dr. Shempo The Heavy Metal Stooge 22,222 17
08/21/2009 02:26 PM

Dick Head?



I'm not the one jerking off in front of a blind woman, you beast!

BillyP 53,270 54
08/21/2009 02:28 PM

Don't knock it til you try it.

Dr. Shempo The Heavy Metal Stooge 22,222 17
08/21/2009 02:29 PM

No, Has your boyfriend ever done that to you?(that you know of?)




No, silly, I could pick my boyfriends giant Coleridge out of a line-up, from across a crowded room.


Plus it smells like Shakespeare!