The Women's Restroom Prank
A comedy article
by Clive McClure  922  3
08/17/2009 09:26 PM 12050 views
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Just a year ago, my company relocated to a shared office building. It's not a large building, but four significantly large businesses are located there. With the four other companies operating side by side, we share the facilities (bathrooms) on site.
Around January of 2009, the W on the WOMEN sign outside the woman's bathroom somehow disappeared. To our great amusement, OMEN was left in plain sight on the wall for a month or so. In an attempt to defray any other evil comments or chuckles, a Pat-like woMAN (who I named "Patman") taped a "W" next to the OMEN.
Being the wild and crazy computer, physics and mathematical nerds that we are, we replaced the "W" each day with a new set of English characters. Our crude attempts at humor included the inaugural BAD OMEN:
My apologies about the bad photo of the BAD OMEN.
We followed this one with the word NOMEN (Patman tore it down before I could get a picture of that one), and then the word ABDOMEN.
Your abdomen is necessary, actually, for a lot of what goes on here.
As the residual success of the original OMEN sign wore off, I began thinking about how I could take the OMEN stunt to the next level. I was somewhat happy with the results of having women scoff, chuckle or simply shake their heads at the sign, but I needed something more.
I had a lofty goal of becoming the talk of the entire office complex. This would require more than just pure skill on my part. It would require creativity, stealth and cunning as I would have to balance the sign-changing, picture-taking, and observation of entry without being caught. There was a real fear of being fired for my exploits. What employer doesn't pride itself on sacking middle-aged men who stand outside of the women's bathroom taking pictures?
That night, following my ritual migration to the gym, I sat in the local pub looking up words that contained OMEN. I didn't know the meaning of half of these words, and was cautious considering the added charge of verbal/sexual/political/religious harassment that could be tacked on to indecent photographs of a sign.
I was reminded of the well-spoken future NFL Hall of Famer Shannon Sharpe who once said, "I may not be a phys ... physis ... physsis ... physics professional, but I know football." Well, I may not be a Word professional, but I do know toilets and Blackberries, so I looked up the definitions and formulated a plan.
I hastily devised a list of materials, wrote a plan on toilet paper, and made a trip to the nearby Super-Walmart. After dodging a family who was taste-testing the different flavors of (O)men's body spray -- not a joke -- I grabbed some much-needed deodorant and headed to the hardware department. Two miles and twenty minutes of searching, and I was on my way.
The eggs, milk, and yogurt were for breakfast, not the prank.
The next morning, I arrived at work earlier than usual - 06:00 instead of 06:30. With supplies in hand, I marched right up to the 2nd floor restroom only to have my heart stop. "Mother biscuit," I cursed under my breath. The building engineer had fixed the sign with a new, glued-on plastic W.
The great W conspiracy.
It didn't look quite right, but it was definitely on there. Short of getting a screwdriver, awl and a hammer, I was screwed.
Or was I? I looked down at my bag of Walmart supplies, and had an idea.
Next: The Prank Gets Bigger!
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Like This? Rate It!
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Funny
14 votes
3.8
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0 votes
0.0
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John Hargrave 116,629  19
08/17/2009 09:29 PM
I know some of you read this story in another thread, but I thought it was so amusing I asked Clive to write it up as a ZUG homepage feature.
Not content to just rehash the original story, Clive followed up with another installment of OMEN-related pranking -- stay tuned for the funny followup.
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0 votes
0.0
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KChikita Banana Box 50,447 11
08/17/2009 09:36 PM
I am intrigued. Please continue.
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Amusing
2 votes
1.5
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Dogs Akimbo 158,693 11 rubs hands together gleefully
08/17/2009 09:51 PM
O man, this is getting good!
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Hilarious
11 votes
4.1
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Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Zolton 71,101 8
08/17/2009 09:54 PM
Whoda thunk one 'W' could cause so many problems?
Oh. Right.
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Funny
5 votes
3.0
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Alarm Clock, Carpentier's Robot 5,980 4
08/17/2009 09:57 PM
Whoda thunk one 'W' could cause so many problems?
The quality control department at the M&M factory.
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
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peoriagrace 5,962 9
08/17/2009 10:04 PM
Activia, for when you're irregular. Like Clive.
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0 votes
0.0
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KChikita Banana Box 50,447 11
08/17/2009 10:05 PM
I'm glad I wasn't the only one to pick up on that.
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
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subhuman 535 2
08/17/2009 10:12 PM
I am offended by this article and its implied support of the segregationist policy of "men's" and "women's" restrooms. Does "separate but equal" ring any bells?
It's time we put an end to this outdated patriarchal institution. Plus I want to hear what they say about me when all go to the bathroom together.
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Amusing
4 votes
1.8
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subhuman 535 2
08/17/2009 10:17 PM
Wow, I really need to start rereading my posts before I hit Submit. If I compiled all the words I've accidentally dropped from a post, I'd have enough make another post.
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0 votes
0.0
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Mr Crabs 276 3
08/17/2009 10:36 PM
Cool build up...I'm running next door for beers and snacks...don't write more 'till I get back!
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Jeeni 11,037 10
08/18/2009 03:15 AM
Love it even more with pics. I'm looking forward to part 2 as well! Oh, the suspense!!
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0 votes
0.0
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mandellia 36 1
08/18/2009 12:48 PM
Suspense...Can't wait!
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
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Mr Crabs 276 3
08/18/2009 05:46 PM
OK...I'm back. Go for it.
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0 votes
0.0
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mielke 1,438 3
08/20/2009 05:57 AM
To take this wonderful bit to the next level you should bring a metal punch and frost the braille too, then video tape the blind "Abdomen's" going "what the f@*#".
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