Yesterday, I decided to have burgers for dinner. I grab my patties, then I grab a pair of firm buns (Pause and insert "That's what she said), and head out to the grill. I scrub the grill down with a device that looks like a piece of steel wool glued to a plastic pole, and flip the burgers on, and try to turn on the grill. I turn the dial, and press the ignition switch, but nothing happens. I can hear the faint, clickclickclick of the spark, but no fire has leaped up to try and claim my eyebrows. I check the tank, and it's empty, but I still want my meat cookies! That's when I get the idea to try cooking them stove top.
I go inside and get a pan, which can fit two of my six patties at a time. I spray it down with a generous coating of pam, and start turning the heat to it's highest setting. I put two patties in, and decided I wanted a vegetable to go with it, so I grab a zucchini and throw it in a seperate pan with some olive oil to go with it. Five minutes later, disaster strikes. One of my hamburgers is torn in half while I'm trying to flip it. Non stick pan my ass. So I get a brilliant idea to spray the patty itself. Bad idea.
The idea wouldn't have been bad, had it not been for the fact the heat eventually expelled the pam from the ground beef and it would pool together with the grease to form a sizzling death pool. by the fourth patty, there's a brown ring that covers almost all of the oven, and I have to stay a safe distance away from the pan lest the grease vipers stab at my arms. The zucchini wasn't helping much. There was enough grease in my burger pan to deep fry a buffalo by the time I was finished. Also, the burgers started to fall apart in the pan, why is it so much trouble to do things on a stove?
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