Tell It Like Tucker: Ummm, did everybody hear that!!!
A comedy article
by Dead Pussy  224  5
09/03/2009 01:53 PM 1586 views
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Well, well, where do I begin...I guess I'll begin at the beginning. Please imagine if you will that you are back in the late 80's era. You are wearing your leg warmers and very large hair if you are female and your Members Only jacket if you are male. Ok to set the scene. Late 80's. Friday night. Nothing to do with you boyfriend but have many beers and then head to the mall to get some cool new leg warmers. Got a picture in your head?? So there I was, a 17 year old high school senior. My boyfriend and I decided to raid my parents stash of Coors light beer. After I had at least a 6 pack I asked my boyfriend if we could go to the mall. As all 18 year old guys would say...sure, but what do I get in return??? I promised him that I would "take care of him" in the car on the way to the mall. Well his eyes (among other things) grew huge and he was ready to go. The mall was only about 15 minutes from my house so I got "busy" as soon as we got in the car. I would give you more details but lets just say it's not polite to talk with your mouth full...wink wink! Okay, all done and now we are at the mall and my boyfriend is not real sure about taking me into a public place because I am quiet drunk and when I drink, I get loud. But, as always I got my way and in the mall we went. We decided that we need to visit the best food court restaurant around and get ourselves a Wet Burrito from Taco Viva...ummmm Taco Viva. As we were on the escalator going to the second floor I turned to my boyfriend and asked him in a very loud, very drunk manner...Hey babe...do I have cum breath??? I think if the mall would have been filled with other teenage boys, my boyfriend would have been very proud that I was asking that question, but NO....the mall was not full of other teenagers, in fact the mall was pretty empty except for the people on the down escalator who just happened to be my parents. Just as those words came out of my mouth, my boyfriends gaze met with my father's gaze. Me being 6 beers to the wind just started to giggle about the whole thing but my boyfriend was not amused by this situation. The funniest part of all of this is that I had no idea my father could jump from the down escalator to the up escalator so fast! Needless to say my father was not to please with this situation and refused to let me see my boyfriend for 2 weeks (he said forever but of course my mother got involved and got my punishment down to two weeks). In the end everything turned out okay because I ended up getting married to my boyfriend several years later and we are still together some 26 years later!!! I guess I was pretty good in the car that night!!!
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
27 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1840104
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Funny
8 votes
3.8
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Bill the Squirrel 53,270  54 is struck blind by the power of the wall of text!
09/03/2009 11:33 PM
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.5
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dasypy gal 14,795 17
09/08/2009 11:09 PM
From the looks of things she writes like she screws. No pauses or hesitations. My kind of cum dumpster!
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
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UofL3000 20 8
09/13/2009 01:08 AM
"my father was not to please with this situation and refused to let me see my boyfriend for 2 weeks (he said forever but of course my mother got involved and got my punishment down to two weeks)"
wat?
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.5
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Dogs Akimbo 211,601 32
09/19/2009 01:10 PM
I can't help but notice this stuff:
Now we're giving you a chance to win $200...
3) The top three funniest-rated articles will win $100.00, $75.00, and $50.00, respectively.
So, you have to win this contest twice to get the $200. Or do you beat up numbers 2 and 3 and steal most of their money?
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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Ravos the Nothingmaster 63,472 21
09/24/2009 07:23 AM
If you're the only one who enters, I guess you get all the prizes.
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0 votes
0.0
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monica123 0 3
09/30/2009 08:36 PM
sounds like my high school days!!!
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
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rodthebod 1 3
09/30/2009 08:41 PM
Wish I knew this type of girl when I was in school...I always ended up with the ones' that were all talk and NO action...I hated school!!!
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