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Hot Dogs 10 to a Pack, Hot Dog Buns 8 to a Pack? NOT ANY MORE!
A comedy article by John Hargrave 116,629 19
09/03/2009 10:54 PM 17138 views

As the old joke goes, "Why do hot dogs come in packs of 10 and hot dog buns in packs of 8?"

For years, I thought it was a giant conspiracy by the hot dog marketing people, meeting secretly behind giant vats of relish and mustard. The Wiener Illumnati knew that when we got to the end of the hot dog buns, we'd still have two dogs left over, so we'd need more buns, which would in turn force us to buy more hot dogs, and on and on, in an endless cycle of wiener consumption.

So I finally decided to get to the bottom of it.





There you have it, folks: Oscar Meyer and Wonder Bread are finally going to get together on this issue.

And to that, I think we can all say "w00t."

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Hilarious 31 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1840106
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22 Comments (Funniest: Mielke,peoriagrace,steamy stool)


Hilarious 8 votes 4.9 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1840109
John Hargrave 116,629 19
09/03/2009 11:02 PM

So it takes us about 2-3 hours to produce one of our prank phone call transcripts, it takes about 4-5 hours to do a prank phone call with audio, and it takes 6-7 hours to do one of these video prank phone calls.

Let us know with your votes and passalongs if it's worth the effort!

 

Funny 4 votes 3.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1840110
Whistler P. McManus 141,594 23
09/03/2009 11:04 PM

A weiner for every one of Jesus' apostles! Great. Let's see, here's one for Peter, one for James, John, Judas, Bartholemew, Andrew, Philip, Doc, Sneezy, Grumpy, Bashful and Sleepy.

 

Side-splitting 1 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1840112
Mielke 1,438 3
09/03/2009 11:14 PM

Should have went for 11...Frost Judas he doesn't Shakespeare!


Great job I enjoyed the hell out of this one.

 

Funny 3 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1840113
Enema Jacket 9 1
09/03/2009 11:22 PM

Your matchmaking is better than any text-messaging service I've ever applied for.

 

Side-splitting 1 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1840119
Alarm Clock the Chubby Robot 5,980 4
09/03/2009 11:57 PM

More excellent activism, good looking out. I could have got distracted and stuck for 6-7 hours on making just the last three seconds of the video, so you're being very proficient with your time.

 

Funny 3 votes 3.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1840120
Alyce 11 1
09/03/2009 11:59 PM

Its a real bummer if you drop a bun; not so bad if you drop a weiner (only 2 max of dropping weiners guys!). They surely could not have thought behind their relish on that one; or did they? I think Evelyn and Carlos were hiding the real secrets.and WOOt!

 

Funny 3 votes 3.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1840121
Shell Belle 31,385 9
09/04/2009 12:03 AM

Hilarious! The Kobayashi reference was a nice touch.

 

Funny 5 votes 3.6 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1840122
MungChamp 22,632 16
09/04/2009 12:04 AM

Really great work John! I think the extra effort was well worth it.

Of course, the better question would be how you came up an idea about the number of wieners that can fit into your buns and why you are having trouble sitting still in video.


 

Hilarious 6 votes 4.2 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1840173
Asshats are falling from the trees! 2,009 3
09/04/2009 06:42 AM



Hey Cletus, how's Brandine? You goin' huntin' later?

 

Funny 3 votes 3.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1840184
Frogpop 155,669 12
09/04/2009 08:00 AM

This feels like the good old days of Computer Stew. I miss watching videos of you talking to people on speakerphone.

 

Side-splitting 1 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1840217
peoriagrace 5,962 9
09/04/2009 05:34 PM

Ok John don't ever show us how you stroke your weiner ever again. It was so not sexy. More like creppy.

 

Side-splitting 3 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1840248
steamy stool 224 2
09/04/2009 10:17 PM

Frost Judas he doesn't Shakespeare!

If he increased the fiber in his diet, he might be able to Shakespeare. Then would you consider including a hot dog for him?

 

Hilarious 3 votes 4.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1840310
Whistler P. McManus 141,594 23
09/05/2009 08:44 AM


Problem solved.

 

Funny 5 votes 3.6 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1840312
Frogpop 155,669 12
09/05/2009 12:07 PM

"Bigger-Than-The-Bun"

another problem created.

 

Hilarious 5 votes 4.4 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1840316
Dogs Akimbo 158,693 11
09/05/2009 06:08 PM

Another tasty problem.

 

Hilarious 2 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1840350
Alarm Clock the Chubby Robot 5,980 4
09/05/2009 10:50 PM

Two extra wieners left over...?

Freeze 'em.

For dog lovers, wieners are the new peanut butter.

 

Hilarious 4 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1840542
mandellia 36 1
09/07/2009 05:44 PM

7 breads for 7 hot dogs, then one really hot threesome dog.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1841251
Animaux 1 1
09/14/2009 12:52 AM

Great job I enjoyed the hell out of this one.

 

Funny 2 votes 3.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1842341
Ali Legend 737 5
09/20/2009 12:56 AM

Is weiner not a word used for a penis in America?

 

Chuckleworthy 2 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1842382
Whistler P. McManus 141,594 23
09/20/2009 07:14 AM

You picked that up just from watching John's video, Ali? You're smart.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1846635
HalloJeeni 11,037 10
10/19/2009 07:25 PM

The visual funny is well worth the extra hours of work, John! Though, I say this because it's not my time.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1850397
zephalis 0 1
11/24/2009 10:13 AM

Interesting note is that John got both reps to say woot which means they were paying attention to every detail even if they can't do anything more than pass the message along. Also of note is that they both speak perfect english, something which is becoming quite rare.