Tell It Like Tucker: Tell It Like Tucker: Not Another Date Rape Movie.
A comedy article
by Pram  80,728  42
09/08/2009 12:44 PM 912 views
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I don't have a knack for...well, anything (good) really. But I think awkwardness can be beautiful- if no one isn't on something.
But I digress. This story is not about being drunk, it's about being HIGH. Not on alcohol, but another pesky drug that is somehow legal: caffeine.
I met a gal on a dating site and we started talking. Next thing you know, we're meeting for coffee. MISTAKE!
You see, coffee administered to, say, a normal person, results in productivity.
But when you give it to an emotional seesaw from hell, you have the recipe for... "Other".
We get to the coffee shop and start to talk. I think a good icebreaker would be to talk about my personal experiences. My personal experiences are not normal. I tell her about the time I accidentally dyed the whites of my eyes with food coloring, think I can take a jacket off while holding a cabled microphone, and regale her when my little brother, (learning to pee) and I "crossed the streams".
She's laughing. I drink more coffee. Clumsiness elbows grace right out the window and sure as my name ain't Shakespeare, I'm doing goofy things like shoving my fingers in the icewater trying to dig out a cube because my coffee is too hot, while rambling on at a fast clip but managing not to make any eye contact whatsoever.
So far, so weird. We get going to the movie theater and find a seat in the middle. The movie starts. Now, at some point, I began to wonder if this was an appropriate movie to take a blind date to. All doubt vanished from both our minds, however, the moment a penis came into view and it had a mouth and it yelled something. The movie went downhill from there, repeatedly crashing, in the shape of a dildo, into a pasty ass. My date and I laughed our asses off and then never saw eachother again.
A side note: My current date has never seen Bruno.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Chuckleworthy
7 votes
2.4
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4 Comments on "Tell It Like Tucker: Tell It Like Tucker: Not Another Date Rape Movie."
(Funniest: Pram,peoriagrace) |
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Side-splitting
1 votes
5.0
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Pram 80,728  42
09/10/2009 06:43 AM
Minor update: We're not together anymore either. I have a way with women!
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Side-splitting
2 votes
5.0
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peoriagrace 6,166 11
09/16/2009 04:32 AM
Pram you just need to find yourself a nerd girl. Find some sewing circles, at one of the craft stores. That way she could make little outfits for your clay people.
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0 votes
0.0
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UnderWhere? 101,398 77
09/17/2009 11:24 AM
Peoriagrace, if I could give you 50 5-orbs for that, I surely would.
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0 votes
0.0
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Pram 80,728 42
09/19/2009 09:56 AM
Awww, that's adorable! I did meet someone who makes little outfits, but she's my other x-girlfriend. I would ask her not to gang-stalk me anymore, but I can't remember her name or what she looks like.
and the darling
Pram
AWWWWW!
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