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Tell It Like Tucker: Tucker Who?
A comedy article by RaisinBean 151 4
09/09/2009 01:15 AM 565 views

I got Tucker beat, as far a sexual conquests....Yeah That's right. I lost my virginity when I was seven. Yes. you heard me right! Seven years old! How? Sit back and let Raisin tell you how he got his start.....

I distinctly remember that day well. A few months after we had moved into a new house, I had become quite good friends with all the local kids on my street. Among the best of friends were two sisters named Kelly and Kari. We became such good friends that our parents would get together to play cards, and hang out.
Anyway... not to drag along, The two sisters and I would hang out together all the time. We did everything together. We played "Red Light, Green Light". We played "Statues". We went and explored the collapsed ruins of an old potato silo. We even took baths and played "Doctor" together. Man. They were my best friends.
One day, My parents went over to their parent's house to play cards. Kelly and Kari, and I all stayed at my house, to watch She-Ra, and He-man.

We all got to talking about how strong He-man and She-Ra was. I of course, took the liberty of saying that He-man had nothing on me.

Anyway.. I Don't exactly recall Everything that we talked about, but I do remember what happened next. Kelly and Kari took my hand and led me to my room. I was of course, confused and asking them what they were doing. They just looked at each other and giggled. Remember....I was only 7. Kelly and Kari were around 9 and 10, respectively. Kelly proceeded to lay down on my bed and hike her dress up. I was amazed to see that she was not wearing any underwear. "WOW", I said. I asked if her parents knew, and she giggled and told me "No. they don't." Behind me, Kari laughed and said that they wanted to show me what they saw their parents doing. I was confused as hell, but as they were my best friends, How could I refuse?

They both told me to shuck out of my pants and to make a long story short, I found myself naked with two sisters. Kari grabbed hold of my pecker and proceeded to try and manipulate me to the right spot between her legs. As you can imagine, I was still confused as hell, and asked her what she was trying to do. She said that she and her sister snuck out of their room one night and seen their parents doing this. They seen their dad doing that thing with their mom and they wanted to try it.
With Kelly and Kari both trying to manipulate me (and my limp, confused member) to the right area, I finally ended up at the right place.I think. "Now Push!" Kari grunted. I tried, but I was too limp, and confused. All I could think of, was that this game was dumb, and I was wondering how He-Man was going to keep Skeletor out of Castle GreySkull. As I pushed, Kelly would try to push my hips down from behind ,but I don't think it was working, because Kari got a little angry at me and said that it seemed to work fine with their parents! So Kelly told her sister to switch places. Alot of the same thing proceeded to happen. Two naked sisters, and one very confused boy thinking about how She-Ra was going to foil Hordak this time..... I did not know what they were trying to do, and how I was supposed to stick it "there", and How it was supposed to get "hard". All I remember feeling, was that I needed to pee. I suggested that we all go back and watch cartoons, because I didn't want to get in trouble. The sisters grudgingly agreed, and we all proceeded back to the adventures of He-Man and She-Ra. Kari was the maddest

and proceeded to ignore me for the rest of the day. Kelly, on the other hand just took my hand and told me that it was OK, because She didn't understand why it was so much fun anyway. As a matter of fact, she had been getting bored with the game too. Oh well. I guess it all just goes to show that maybe I didn't lose my virginity. Or that maybe I don't have one-up on Maddox. After all, do two sisters and a very confused boy (with no actual sexual intercourse involved) really constitute as a sexual experience? You decide.

As a side note, It does make a great story when I am having a round and I tell the guys that I lost my virginity with a pair of sisters!

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3 Comments on "

Tell It Like Tucker: Tucker Who?

"

(Funniest: Ravos the Nothingmaster)


  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1840778
Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
09/09/2009 03:36 PM

That totally counts.


Great story! As long as you didn't grow up to be a kid toucher, that is.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1840783
RaisinBean 151 4
09/09/2009 04:14 PM

Don't worry, Whistler, I am not a kid toucher, and would furthermore kill anyone that I caught touching...Let's just say that because of the experiences I had in my misbeggoten and ill-spent youth, I will be watching my kids alot closer than my parents watched me!

 

Hilarious 1 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1843135
Ravos the Nothingmaster 63,472 21
09/24/2009 11:25 AM

So you aren't a kid toucher, just a kid watcher?