Nachos 51,808 10
09/09/2009 07:38 PM

Indulge yourself in some date rape. That way you can spend all day high-fiving the frat boys and look younger by osmosis.

Alarm Clock the Chubby Robot 5,980 4
09/09/2009 08:14 PM

I know exactly what you mean. I'm 27 and recently started back school last summer semester. Just be yourself. Remember that younger kids love dirty jokes, and many things involving shock value still work on them. They'll already look at you as cooler, just because you're older and not intimidated by talking to your teachers like real, regular people.

At least I mainly told a lot of crude jokes and untoward cracks. Another student was arguing with the teacher and got proven wrong, so I felt a duty to announce to the class that he had just gotten, "Oh! Burned!" A couple of classes later, I was invited and went to smoke weed behind the nearby storage units with some of the less nerdy kids. It really made my day and made me feel accepted. I immediately texted my girlfriend to tell her about it.

Mr.Coffee 807 8
09/09/2009 08:16 PM

Just dress how you used to dress when you were that age. If movies on VH1 have taught me anything, it's that soon after some seemingly kind-hearted socialite will take you under her wing, and then you'll have a makeover/shopping montage of your very own! Then just make sure to put out during homecoming and you're a shoe-in.

Whistler P. McManus 141,645 23
09/09/2009 08:19 PM

Bring me to a couple of classes.

Gonzo 17,604 12
09/09/2009 08:40 PM

Well, you could try wearing a "hoodie" and drinking "Mountain Dew" or "Fruitopia" like all the youngsters are these days. And use current slang terms like "Hoopdie" and "Def" and "Word-up, homie."

But, since my information might be somewhat out of date, you could just go with the tried and true method of acting like a terminally clueless douchebag. You should blend right in.

KChikita Banana Box 50,447 11
09/09/2009 09:07 PM

My ten year high school reunion was this year...

Holy Jeebus! BobJohnson is my age!

The Mailman 130,818 14
09/09/2009 09:33 PM

What can I do to look younger and fit in at school?

Stop wearing Hawaiian shirts. They make you look like you'll be going to the early-bird special at Kenny Rogers' Roasters after class.

The Mailman 130,818 14
09/09/2009 09:35 PM

Stop using a ZUG profile that says "Member since 2003."

Thud 53,122 10
09/09/2009 10:09 PM

Shave your head, get a few tattoos, wear sunglasses everywhere, make cryptic references to obscure activities, tell everyone that you're going to go on a ether and water diet to type and lose some weight, stop showering, adopt a nonsensical nickname, and remember to get in people's faces for no apparent reason.


These same steps could also land you a role on a big time wrestling soap opera.

Dropkick Brody 41,449 9
09/09/2009 11:18 PM

There are a few older students in my class, and the way they fit in is to go out on every drinking session, and attend every social function.

In conclusion, abandon the wife for extended periods of time and drink the children under the table.

Bill the Squirrel 25,535 8
09/09/2009 11:25 PM

My ten year high school reunion was this year...

Holy Jeebus! BobJohnson is my age!


Holy Guacamole!* I was in jail for my ten year high school reunion. That was 10 years ago.

*And by that I mean, "GET OFF MY LAWN!"

Disco Bob 2,239 5
09/09/2009 11:33 PM

Well judging by this:

For example, in my class yesterday, someone made the comment "I wish I was old enough to vote."

Your classmates probably need someone to buy them alcohol. The guy that brings the liquor is ALWAYS cool.



Until the cops show up then thats the guy with the contributing to the delinquency of a minor ticket.

I are Nipples 2,135 5
09/10/2009 01:32 AM

Just pay attention to how the girls dress and do their hair, and copy it. You'll look like a strapping young lad from '09 in no time at all.

Mielke 1,438 3
09/10/2009 02:14 AM

In comparison yes you may look older then your school mates but.....Now if you were to go down to the seniors home and volunteer to take a senior on field trips then took him/her to school with you then in comparison you will look way younger.

Madness 1,404 5
09/10/2009 02:33 AM

Wear your pants about 4-5 inches lower than you normally would. Bonus points if they're faded or have holes in the knees.

BC Bud 11,120 10
09/10/2009 03:57 AM

Bonus points if they're faded or have holes in the knees

I thought that was a signal that you give Blow Jobs?

Madness 1,404 5
09/10/2009 04:43 AM

I thought that was a signal that you give Blow Jobs?

No, that would be a hole in the crotch.

Alarm Clock the Chubby Robot 5,980 4
09/10/2009 04:50 AM

No, that would be a hole in the crotch.

You're not giving blowjobs right. I'm not complaining, I'm sure they're fantastic that way, but it's not really what everyone else means when they say blowjob.

Reverend Dave Rodriguez 2,330 0
09/10/2009 04:57 AM

I hate the older people at my school. They are always asking questions and stuff while in class and trying to learn a lot. I mean, what the hell are they doing in college if all they want to do is learn stuff?

John Hargrave 116,629 19
09/10/2009 05:02 AM

Walk in late to class one day, high as a kite. Then say, "But I don't feel tardy."

The Spit in Hospitality 979 4
09/10/2009 12:37 PM

On the other hand, you could always try to own the old-guy angle. Wear a hat with fishing lures on it, punctuate your main points by thrusting your cigar in the air, and curse like a sailor. After all, philosophical arguments always sound more impressive from the far side of a highball glass.

Asshats are falling from the trees! 2,009 3
09/10/2009 01:33 PM

Bring me to a couple of classes.

WHistler, he said fit IN. Of course it'll work if he's going to Elton John University....

You make me feel so Ravos 34,407 10
09/10/2009 04:26 PM

Wear a visor. Visors never go out of style, and they augment the hawaiian shirt look.

Whistler P. McManus 141,645 23
09/10/2009 04:56 PM

I was in rehab for my ten year high school reunion.

My twenty year reunion was a lot of fun. I was thinner and had more hair than any other guy in my graduating class (to be fair, I was the youngest in my class). I also had the hottest wife, even though she was six or seven months pregnant at the time. The girl who was head cheerleader told me she should have Frosted me when she had the chance.

My thirty year reunion was held in the back room of a Kenny Rogers' Roasters at 4:00 p.m. We all had coupons.

Stone Cold Bikini 59,038 8
09/10/2009 08:56 PM

Don't try to learn anything and never answer a question intelligently.

The sure-fire difference between mature students and real first years is mature students know they are paying a Frost of a lot to study and want to get the benefit, god damn it. First years want to get drunk off the money their grannies gave them to buy books. They can learn later - as mature students!

Also, don't do so well on your essays that the professor points you out as an example and tells all the rest of the class to talk to you about how to do better. Not only is it as embarrassing as hell and clearly marks you as a mature student, you also get labeled as an ass-sucking teacher's pet, just because you've done it all before and have more experience with essay cheat sites with essay writing.

KChikita Banana Box 50,447 11
09/10/2009 09:10 PM

Also, don't ruin the grade curve if you know what's good for you.

It was a painful lesson to learn.

Dr. Shempso The Heavy Metal Stooge 16,492 9
09/10/2009 09:18 PM

What can I do to look younger and fit in at school?





Dont do this or look like that. And you should be fine and dandy.




P.S. Dont say fine and dandy either, makes people sound old.....Doh!

Disco Bob 2,239 5
09/10/2009 09:58 PM

The sure-fire difference between mature students and real first years is mature students know they are paying a Frost of a lot to study and want to get the benefit, god damn it. First years want to get drunk off the money their grannies gave them to buy books. They can learn later - as mature students! are spending mommy and daddy's money and dont give a Frost.


Fixed.

Snarkolepsy 37 3
09/27/2009 07:35 AM

Follow any comment with the slightest hint of innuendo with "That's what she said." This will cover for the lack of actual wit you may experience while knocking back your eighteenth Jagerbomb.

Drowning Fish 202 2
09/27/2009 08:35 AM

Reinvent yourself. If there is any group of people that can be thirty and "pass" for 18 it's the gays. Wear lots of pink, invest in tight pants, dye your hair, find a boyfriend, end every sentence with an upward inflection, and rent a chair at the local salon. Take an interior design class.

Yuoaman 98 1
09/27/2009 11:40 AM

Carry around a Hannah-Montana backpack, the kids love that stuff.

Straw Trekkin Across the Universe 59,682 11
09/28/2009 04:49 AM

Grow out your hair and a bushy beard. All they'll see is the excessive hair and think of Zach Galifianakis and won't realize you're old.

And by old, I mean 8 years younger than me, whippersnapper!

rendevousconreece 106 2
09/28/2009 05:36 AM

Listen to lots of indie rock and drink expensive coffee drinks from far away lands.

Dogs Akimbo 158,734 11
09/28/2009 06:49 AM

I hear the young kids are starting to get tattoos these days.

Pubah 47,451 11
09/28/2009 08:41 AM

Beergoggles!!!

Buy a few rounds and no one will give a Shakespeare how old you look...

Pram 53,540 12
09/28/2009 11:07 AM

Have a gay hair stylist cut your eyebrows down to itchy stubs before you can object.

Ravos the Nothingmaster 34,407 10
09/28/2009 06:16 PM

rent a chair at the local salon. Take an interior design class.

Your faux-hawk is going to look so fabulous next to your post-modern ikea desk!

Millie 107,064 10
09/29/2009 06:44 AM

Can't help you there. I, too returned to school at age 29 for a second degree. I wasn't the oldest in my classes, but I was in the top three or four. I looked ten years younger than, as I do now, so I didn't need to make myself look younger.

Still, I played up my mature sexiness and got asked out all the time. I couldn't go, because I was married at the time, but it was fun.

I think that's what you should do. The girls like an older, experienced man. Play up on the "been there done that" couldn't-care-less-about-anything-because-you've-seen-it-all thing. The boys will look up to you and the girls will want to have sex with you.

Frogpop 155,678 12
09/29/2009 08:37 AM

Buy a lot of ironic t-shirts.

cycoivan 9,074 6
09/29/2009 05:18 PM

I went through my 2nd go around through college at the ripe old age of 23 (I'm 29 now) and even then I was older than most of the 1st year students. You can console yourself in the fact that about 75% of those young functionally retarded people will drop out before the end of the first year.

By your 2nd year, when they consolidate all the survivors together, you very well may be in the middle of the pack or near the bottom in the class for age.

Of course any hatred and prejudice towards those younger than you will be magnified during your 1st year. Most colleges these days are emphasizing group projects because companies want people who can work as a team. A 1st year group project usually consists of you doing all the work and the rest of the little bastards that were assigned to your group (if they haven't dropped out that is) getting the credit. Yeah, that's a lot of fun.