Bean 8,605 19
09/14/2009 04:29 PM

Burger King says "have it your way." You should special request the hell out of them.

French fries laid in a criss cross fashion across your burger with the pickles inserted in the holes, for example.

Mr.Coffee 881 10
09/14/2009 06:25 PM

You had me until that last part. The special note asking you to floss? that's classic, man, classic.

That being said, I have to address your "stinger". Leaving a derogatory tip for housekeeping? that's worse than not tipping. I understand that they didn't give you the hypo allergenic pillows that you asked for, but that note may not have made it to the housekeeping staff. Housekeepers work hard, and don't necessarily expect tips (tipping is appreciated in hotels, but not regarded as customary from my point of view). An unfortunate side effect with my line of work is that I literally live in hotels. One gets the feel of them quite quickly, and let me tell you, a $5 tip can take a housekeepers normally Shakespearety day and turn it into a good one, just as an unexpectedly large tip can make a server's day. Insulting them probably won't have such effects, especially somebody who remembered to set your radio and remind you to floss, but forgot about your pillows.

I'm sorry to do it, but I have to classify that last bit as a Dick Move.

Alarm Clock the Chubby Robot 6,348 4
09/14/2009 06:33 PM

You're right. He should have paid them for not performing services he asked them to. What's this world coming to?

dasypy gal 14,803 17
09/14/2009 11:45 PM

Horsey sauce! I LOVE Horsey sauce. I like the way it makes me cry and then the snot starts running down my face.

Frogpop 173,153 25
09/15/2009 06:03 AM

I "chuckled".

You make me feel so Ravos 63,472 21
09/15/2009 07:19 AM

You should have made a request for exactly 3 packets of horsey sauce, no more no less, laid out on your bed.

And a sammich.

the fun in disfunctional 1,970 6
09/15/2009 08:05 AM

"Down Lite" I love it.

KChikita Banana Box 128,438 98
09/15/2009 08:11 AM

I just went on vacation and stayed in hotels that we booked online, including a resort (they're notorious for going the extra mile). I didn't make any special requests. I have failed at teh funny.

cycoivan 11,330 11
09/15/2009 08:11 AM

Sounds like the last time I made a special request at the whorehouse. The only thing I got was extra Horsey sauce.




I only wish that they would not bring the horse in the room while they're getting the sauce. It kind of ruins the mood.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
09/15/2009 10:09 AM

Horsey sauce! I LOVE Horsey sauce. I like the way it makes me cry and then the snot starts running down my face.

Um Horsey sauce is very mild. Try fresh horseradish.

Bean you know what I'm talking about right? They grow horseradish in Tulelake. Sometimes I actually miss some stuff from Klamath.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
09/15/2009 10:27 AM

I stay in hotels an awful lot, too, and due to my natural insecurity and deep seated needs to be liked and to feel important, I tip too much. The usual result is that I get a lot of extra towels. One guy, staying on his own in a hotel, does not need eight bath towels a day. Even if he avails himself of the pool and spa. Either it's the only way for the housekeeping staff to show their appreciation or they're dropping a hint about my personal hygiene.

Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Zolton 88,214 34
09/15/2009 01:50 PM

And although I never did get my hypo-allergenic pillows...

To be fair, if you made the request over the phone, maybe they thought you wanted hyper-allergenic pillows.

They probably lovingly rolled those down pillows in fresh pollen and cat dander, just for you. Ya stuffy-nosed ingrate.

Trickster 175 4
09/15/2009 02:07 PM

I always request an uncomfortable bed, Shakespeare curtains that let the light in, a TV that doesn't work properly and a used condom in some darkened corner of the room. That way I'm never disappointed.

cakes and ale 2,404 6
09/15/2009 08:44 PM

I have always loved staying in hotels. Luckily, I travel for work and have the pleasure of getting to stay in great hotels. Recently,I spent the night at the Four Seasons Hotel in Boston. I have stayed there many times before and arrived to a hand written note from the Sales Director welcoming me back and asking that I contact her if I need anything during my stay.

I decided to put her to the test. I invited my best friend and her sister to spend the night with me. The large room had two queen size beds and a sofa that pulled out into a bed. We decided that we would like an additional bed instead of the sofa and called down to the concierge to make our request. Their response? "Certainly, Ms. Cakes. Our pleasure." We had a new bed in the room within ten minutes!

This got me to thinking. Was there anything that they wouldn't do? Would they come up and turn the light off? Untuck my covers? Pull my thong out of my ass?

I have a challenge for you, John. Next time, make your request just that. A request. Instead of a reminder in the form of a note, ask them to floss your teeth for you.

And don't forget to take pictures!

Reverend Dave Rodriguez 2,413 0
09/15/2009 09:44 PM

Wow, you stayed at the Elan? I work there. What night(s) were you there? If you would have said something in advance I would have Shakespeare on your pillow made sure your requests were fulfilled.

Which reminds me, I hope to god you didn't use the comp. glasses we leave in the bathroom, I won't even tell you what housekeeping does to them.

mandellia 45 4
09/21/2009 08:45 AM

"Contains trace amounts of horse" yuk

dasypy gal 14,803 17
09/21/2009 09:10 AM

Um Horsey sauce is very mild. Try fresh horseradish.


Thanks PG.

I should have mentioned that I use a gallon of sauce per sammich because I like a lot of goo dripping down my chin and hands.

And I love to eat it raw. So I'm VERY aware of my tear and snot running factor.