cakes and ale 2,404 6
09/24/2009 07:57 PM

My friend Christina thought the Rolling Stones "You Can Start Me Up" was "Yugoslavia"

I have committed all of the following sins (loudly) in public:

The Cranberries "Free to Decide" I couldn't figure out if it was "Freakin' Inside" or "Frigid Inside" so I would alternate.

The Police "Message in the Bottle" I thought was "Message in the Bathroom"

Manfred Mann/Bruce Springsteen "Blinded by the Light" I thought "revved up like a deuce..." was "wrapped up like a douche..."

Yeah, I know. I'm retarded.

Madness 4,366 10
09/24/2009 08:56 PM

Manfred Mann/Bruce Springsteen "Blinded by the Light" I thought "revved up like a deuce..." was "wrapped up like a douche..."

Wow I can't believe I forgot to put that down.
My girlfriend gives me Shakespeare about that to this day.

Alarm Clock the Chubby Robot 6,348 4
09/24/2009 08:59 PM

Steve Miller Band-(when I was little) I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight stroker...

cakes and ale 2,404 6
09/24/2009 09:02 PM

I'm a midnight stroker.

And you're not now?

Shell Belle 77,143 25
09/24/2009 09:12 PM

Two of my favorites:


Jimi Hendrix - 'Scuse me while I kiss this guy.


Robert Palmer - You might as well face it, you're a dick with a glove.

cycoivan 11,330 11
09/24/2009 09:13 PM

Stabbing Westward - Shame
What he said - How can I exist without you?
What I heard - How can I have sex without you?
What I thought - Jergens and your hand, it's not too difficult, dumbass?

AC/DC - Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
What he said - Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap
What I heard - Dirty deeds Dr. Thunderchief
What I thought - WTF? Is that some aborigine dude?

cycoivan 11,330 11
09/24/2009 09:21 PM

Bob Dylan - Like a Rolling Stone
What he said - How does it feel? To be out on your own.
What I heard - Ma mun it eel? mue ou n ur own.
What I thought - Bob Dylan should not sing with a full mouth.

Bon Jovi - Living on a Prayer
What he said - It doesn't really matter if we make it or not
What I heard - It doesn't really matter if we're naked or not
What I thought - Uhhhhhh, yeah. It probably would have made a difference.

Alarm Clock the Chubby Robot 6,348 4
09/24/2009 09:25 PM

Also, I don't care what anyone says, ACDC Highway to Hell is saying: Living easy, living free. She's a Ogden Nash on a one way ride.

I'm not endorsing it or anything, I'm just saying. Listen to it if you don't believe me. It is not "season ticket."

Pants 14,252 17
09/24/2009 09:26 PM

Sharp Dressed Man

Clean shirt, new shoes
And I dont know where I am goin to.
Silk suit, black tie,
I dont need a reason why.
They come runnin just as fast as they can
Coz every girl crazy bout a sharp dressed man.




Up until 5 or 6 years ago I would have bet my mother's soul that the line was
"Coz America's crazy bout a sharp dressed man."

Shell Belle 77,143 25
09/24/2009 09:26 PM

Damn, what's with all the soccermoms lately? I got more in the last week than I did in the last few months.

Someone either hates my guts or really does think I'm amusing.

Gimme Gimme Shemp Treatment 22,222 17
09/24/2009 09:51 PM

Led Zeppelin's Living Loving Maid:

Correct lyrics, "With a purple umbrella and a 50 cent hat."

I heard, "With a purple operator and a fifth in hand".




Van Halen's And the Cradle Will Rock:

Correct lyrics, "And I say rock on"

I heard, "And I say Bob called".




AC/DC's Shook me all night long:

Correct lyrics, "Taking more than her share, had me fighting for air."

I heard, "Taking more then here share, had my body for rent".

Helena Handbasket 1,889 13
09/25/2009 05:21 AM

Somewhere over the rainbow

Weigh a pie.

Ravos the Nothingmaster 63,472 21
09/25/2009 06:45 AM

My roommates seems to think that Michael Jackson's Smooth Criminal lyrics were:
"Annie do you want this? Do you want this? Do you want this Annie?"

Randall Cleveland 49,019 14
09/25/2009 06:47 AM

Ken Lee.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
09/25/2009 07:34 AM

"and we're, bakin' carrot biscuits. everyday"

"bakin' carrot biscuits, and workin' over time"







"Bingo Jed had a light on, don't carry me to far away"

"Bingo Jed had a light on, cause I'm here and I got to stay"

Crash Test Dummy 3,671 9
09/25/2009 07:51 AM

Used to think, back when I was 10, that Eddie Money actually sang "I've got two chicken to paralyze" instead of "I've got two tickets to paradise".

the fun in disfunctional 1,970 6
09/25/2009 07:52 AM

Credence Clearwater Revival: "There's a bad moon on the right"

Me: "There's a bathroom on the right"

Daryl Hall & John Oates: "Your kiss, your kiss is on my list of the best things in life"

Me; Your kiss, Your kiss is on my lips and the best things in life.

I sang both of these out loud and wrong for years...I'm
nothing if I'm not consistent.

cycoivan 11,330 11
09/25/2009 08:07 AM

Slipknot - Wait and Bleed
What he said - Inside my shell, I wait and bleed
What I heard - Inside Michelle, I wait and bleed
What I thought - That girl needs a tampon or she's gonna get Slipknot all over the floor.

Lady Gaga - Pokerface
What he/she said: M-m-my pokerface, p-p-pokerface
What I heard: F-F-Frost her face, f-f-Frost her face
What I thought: Only a dude would sing that. Lady Gaga is really a transvestite.

Alarm Clock the Chubby Robot 6,348 4
09/25/2009 08:30 AM

the fun in disfunctional still thinks:
Credence Clearwater Revival: "There's a bad moon on the right"

Actually: Bad moon on the rise.

the fun in disfunctional 1,970 6
09/25/2009 08:31 AM

Shakespeare.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
09/25/2009 08:47 AM

Lady Gaga is a hermaphrodite, not a transvestite. Not that I would Frost either. I'm just saying.

cycoivan 11,330 11
09/25/2009 08:52 AM

Lady Gaga is a hermaphrodite, not a transvestite. Not that I would Frost either. I'm just saying

Derr, that's what I meant, and no I'm not rubbin' her nubbin either.

Madness 4,366 10
09/25/2009 09:18 AM

Lady Gaga - Pokerface

Well I'm certainly glad I'm not the only one who hears this.
I guess she doesn't have to be a tranny.
She could just like getting on her knees and smiling like a donut.

Pram 80,728 42
09/25/2009 09:33 AM

Bon Jovi- Livin' on a prayer
_

Oh woah oh woah
oh woah oh woah
oh woah oh woah
oh woah oh woah

Tommy used to work on his dog
Onion's sick on tripe
Hes down on his luck...can't Frost
Gina works the corner all day
Working for her man, she spends all his pay
For love - get some

She says she's got to hold on to what weve got
cause it doesnt make a difference
If we finish or not
Weve got a lover and that's a lot
For love - well, give it a "shot"

Whooah, I'm half way there
pullin' on my hair
Take your hand and shake it - I swear
oh ohhh!
I'm cumming through the air
CUMMING. THROUGH. THE AIIII-AIRRR...

Pram 80,728 42
09/25/2009 09:35 AM

My roommates seems to think that Michael Jackson's Smooth Criminal lyrics were:
"Andy, do you want this? Do you want this? Do you want this, Andy?"

fixed?

Ravos the Nothingmaster 63,472 21
09/25/2009 09:45 AM

Lady Gaga is a blow-up doll, not a hermaphrodite.

Disco Bob 4,322 8
09/25/2009 09:59 AM

From back in the early 80's

Juice Newton : Love's been a little bit hard on me

What I heard: Lovin' every bit of it, fart on me

My mom couldn't figure out why I would laugh everytime this song came on the radio until I told her what I thought the lyrics were. Its been over 20 years and family is still making fun of that.

cycoivan 11,330 11
09/25/2009 10:02 AM

Well I'm certainly glad I'm not the only one who hears this.
I guess she doesn't have to be a tranny.
She could just like getting on her knees and smiling like a donut.

There's apparently circumstantial evidence that in a bunch of pictures she has a little nubbin protruding out down there. Maybe she has a large clit, maybe the clothes had a wrinkle there, but it does make you go hmmmmm........I haven't really looked into it because I don't give a Shakespeare about Lady Gaga, but that won't stop me from making fun of her dongle.

Ravos the Nothingmaster 63,472 21
09/25/2009 10:12 AM

But you have one too! So I guess we should all make fun of your as well.

Pubah 56,851 18
09/25/2009 03:33 PM

During the chorus if Grease's "Summer Lovin", did they really say..."Tell me more, tell me more, did she jump at a fag...Tell me more, tell me more, cause he sounds like a drag"?

Just wonderin

cycoivan 11,330 11 sticks tongue out at Ravos
09/25/2009 03:58 PM

But you have one too! So I guess we should all make fun of your as well.

Nuh uh! It's so short it doesn't hang at all!

Reverend Dave Rodriguez 2,413 0
09/25/2009 08:38 PM

Blinded by the light, rolled up like a douche something something in the night.

Alarm Clock the Chubby Robot 6,348 4
09/25/2009 08:51 PM

I used to think it was hawlbishaun or howbizzjhon or something. I didn't know what the song was saying for years. Who would have thought it was How Bizarre.

cakes and ale 2,404 6
09/25/2009 08:57 PM

Pubah-

[Thunderbirds]
Tell me more, tell me more

[Putzie]
But you don't gotta brag

[Pink Ladies]
Tell me more, tell me more

[Rizzo]
Cos he sounds like a drag

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
09/25/2009 09:34 PM

I was riding in the car with my foster son Arthur when the Foo Fighters song My Hero came on the radio.

"I love this song," says Arthur, "but who the hell is Sergeant Larry?"

"Sergeant Larry? What are you talking about?"

"You know," he replies, singing "There goes my hero, he's Sergeant Larry."

(the correct lyric is "There goes my hero, he's ordinary.")

peoriagrace 6,166 11
09/26/2009 04:03 AM

Oh my god ; I laughed so long and so hard I almost ralphed all over my keyboard. Good job everybody.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
09/26/2009 08:53 AM

Robert Plant's Tall Cool One from the wonderful eighties.

"Let's play wild like wildcats do."


I heard

"Let's play wild like wildcat stew."

Mighty Kind 36,184 48
09/26/2009 09:33 AM

Queen: Another one bites the dust.

Me: A number one fightin' doctor.

Randall Cleveland 49,019 14
09/26/2009 09:34 AM

In Michael Jackson's "Beat It" MJ says:

"Showin' how funky and strong is your fight"

But as a kid I always heard:

"Shofee hot monkey is such a delight"

Dropkick Brody 43,090 12
09/26/2009 10:59 AM

Bay City Rollers, I Only Want To Be With You.

They sang:
You stopped and smiled at me
And asked if I'd care to dance

I heard:
You stopped and smiled at me
And asked if I caravanned

Asshats are falling from the trees! 11,439 21
09/26/2009 01:16 PM

Manfred Mann/Bruce Springsteen "Blinded by the Light" I thought "revved up like a deuce..." was "wrapped up like a douche..."

Actually it IS Douche. Springsteens version is Revved up like a deuce, Manfred Mann changed it to Douche. Watch Springsteen's Storytellers, he admits that is what they were saying and he doesn't know how it got changed.

As for me? My favorite that as a kid I INSISTED was correct (still do, come to think):

Bennie & The Jets by Elton John

I Heard: She's got electric Boobs, her ma has too.

He (allegedly) sings: She's got electric boots, a mohair suit.

I like my version better!

The High Priestess 58,964 29
09/26/2009 01:21 PM

"Rockin' the catbox, Rockin' the catbox!"

The correct word is Casbah.

Drowning Fish 222 4
09/26/2009 11:02 PM

The Beatles - Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

The song goes "A girl with kaleidoscope eyes."

I heard "the girl with colitis goes by." I wondered for years why the Beatles would sing about digestive disorders.


Kerry Underwood - Before He Cheats

She says "carved my name into his leather seats."

For some reason I heard "carved my name into his Legacy." At least I got the car part right.

Jepperoni 58,758 13
09/27/2009 09:46 AM

I knew it wasn't right all those years but I just figured out that the line in the Rolling Stones' Sympathy for the Devil was not "And the station screamed in pain" but "Anastasia screamed in vain".

What do you expect. I hardly ever listened to that song unless I was baked off my gourd.

Pubah 56,851 18 and Finally...
09/27/2009 09:06 PM

Elton John:
"Don't let your son
go down on me..."

Crash Test Dummy 3,671 9
09/27/2009 11:09 PM

Again, when I was about 13 years old...

Pink Floyd sang: " We don't need no education. No dark sarcasm, in the classroom..."

I heard: "We don't need no education. No Dukes of Hazzard, in the classroom..."

And that was a good 2 years before I experimented with recreational drugs.

Gimme Gimme Shemp Treatment 22,222 17
09/27/2009 11:28 PM

The Ramones:

They sang: Were a happy family.

I heard: Vera can you find me.



Kiss:

They sang: You know your man's been working hard, hes worth a deuce.

I heard: You know your man's been working hard, he's worth a douche.

Gimme Gimme Shemp Treatment 22,222 17
09/27/2009 11:59 PM

Van Halen:

They sang: Reach down in between my legs and ease the seat back

I heard: Reach down in between my legs and squeezed my seed bag.


The Beatles:

They sang: Jo Jo was a man who thought he was a loner.

I heard: Jo Jo was a man who thought he was a woman.


White Zombie:

They sang: Livin' fast and dying young like a
endless poetry. my motor-psycho nightmare freak out
inside of me. my soul salvation liberation on the drive.
the power of the blaster move me faster 1965 Yeah!

I heard: Rikken frakken zippin dappin toe tree, mippin mackin out inside of me, My hole salcation flippveration one to drive, the hour of the master move me faster 1965 Yeah!

hairy kari gal 14,803 17
10/08/2009 03:32 AM

Deep Purple

They sang: My woman from Tokyo

I heard: My woman the cocaine ho

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 11,330 11
10/08/2009 12:42 PM

Missy Elliot sang: I put my thing down flip it and reverse it. ti esrever dna ti plif nwod gniht ym put I. [it's the reverse of the 1st sentence]
I heard: "Has the squirrel nut hit the plan yet"?
What I thought: Why is on my Frost-ing radio?

Count Fucksockula 1,133 3
10/08/2009 02:31 PM

Robert Palmer's Addicted to Love...
Who the Frost is Ted Tooluv?!?

hairy kari gal 14,803 17
10/08/2009 02:56 PM

Count Frostsockula
10/08/2009 02:31 PM
Robert Palmer's Addicted to Love...
Who the Frost is Ted Tooluv?!?



Might as well face it,
it's my tit that you love...

the fun in disfunctional 1,970 6
10/08/2009 02:59 PM

Anything by Fleetwood Mac with Stevie Nicks


I heard: nnnnn wahaa du wine wahhhhhhhhhh

Stevie actually sings: wahhhhhhhhh nnnnnnnnnnnnn wine nnah

How could I have screwed that up?

Pubah 56,851 18
10/08/2009 05:28 PM

Don't get started on Jaggermeister and The Stones...
I was Boooooorrrne a flap jack in a hurricaine.

Or James Brown...
Only one and one is oh so filliar nanes.

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/08/2009 06:10 PM

AC/DC - Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
What he said - Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap
What I heard - Dirty deeds Dr. Thunderchief

I heard "Dirty Deeds Dunder Cheat." For years. I asked some friends on my 25th birthday what the hell that meant, and they all laughed and bought me more shots.

Moral of the story: If you're going to look like a moron, do it on your birthday when everyone's drinking. They'll think you're cute and let you get away with it.

Blood, Sugar, Shemp, Magic 22,222 17
11/23/2009 12:54 PM

Driving home, Bennie and the Jets came on. And it reminded me I used to think it went like this.




What I heard: She's got electric boobs, and no hair soon.


Elton John Sang: She's got electric boots and a mohair suit.

A.C. with built in Horn of Plenty 6,348 4
11/23/2009 01:03 PM

Ha! I never knew that one either, til now. I always thought it was:

She's got electric boobs, her ma has two, you know I read it in a magazine.

Lobster With Gravy and Stuffing 18,572 33
11/23/2009 01:14 PM

A conversation between AC and me Sunday morning:

Me: That picture was taken in Florida.

AC: How you know?

Me: It says "I 95" and "A1A" on the street signs.

AC: Oh that makes sense, like the Vanilla Ice song "A1A DETROIT AVENUE"

Me: Ummm, no.

AC: What?

Me: Try "Beachfront Avenue" you tard.

AC: Oh. That makes sense.

A hunk o' burning Ravos 63,472 21
11/23/2009 01:20 PM

There is nothing more special than tards in love.

The momb 215 4
11/24/2009 07:40 AM

AC/DC - Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
What he said - Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap
My 8 yr old sang: Dirty D and the thunder Jeep.

Gwen Stefani - Holla Back Girl
What she said: Cause I ain't no holla back girl!
My 10 yr old sang: Cause I ain't gonna haul a fat girl!!

Queen - Another One Bites The Dust
I thought he said: Another one bites the docta!!(Doctor)

cakes and ale 2,404 6
12/20/2009 10:36 AM

Yesterday I saw some wrapping paper with illustrations depicting Christmas songs and the coordinating lyrics. I have been singing:

"Up on the rooftop reindeers paws"

According to the wrapping paper it's:

"Up on the rooftop reindeers pause"

I wasn't really thinking through the whole hoof thing.

BC Bud 13,797 15
12/20/2009 11:13 AM

Deep Purple:
Smoke on the Water:

They sing: Smoke on the water and fire in the sky
Sounds like: Slow walking walter, fire engine guy

The local radio station rerecorded it with the alternative words.

Pramable Lectern 80,728 42
12/20/2009 04:40 PM

When I was little my baby brother thought the lyrics to a song in The Music Man went, "76 trombones in the microwave".