KChillie 124,270 89
10/06/2009 11:40 AM

The same reason that gold and diamonds cost so much.

THEY'RE UNIQUE AND RARE!

cycoivan 11,324 11
10/06/2009 11:42 AM

How else is John supposed to find money to eat then then poo out later? Work? You must be joking.

Professor Nutbutter 181,220 34
10/06/2009 11:44 AM

If you don't have $300.00 to spend you can always be AWESOME. That's how I got mine.*

Also, a portion of that $300.00 goes to the artist, and he eats a LOT of meat.


*actually, I blackmailed John with a tell-all screenplay about the time he had sex with several of his staffers.

Poor, poor Moe.

Yuoaman 123 6
10/06/2009 11:49 AM

Oh wow... the last time I saw it I thought it was $30...

Are there sexual favors that come with the icon, that seems to be the best explanation.

PorterHouse Steak 477 4
10/06/2009 11:58 AM

If it were just $30.00 I MIGHT buy one. But for $300.00 USD....Frost that!

Just Ravos 62,329 20
10/06/2009 12:03 PM

300US? Looks like John dropped the price a bit!

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
10/06/2009 01:28 PM

You could always just hang around here for six or seven years, continually contributing to the funny, and be rewarded with the same cigar smoking Edward G. Robinson in a Christmas ornament that a dozen other people have.


What? Bitter? No.

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
10/06/2009 01:39 PM

Truth: the $300 is not just for the cost of having the icon made and uploaded. There is a history behind custom icons, and that history includes contributing something, whether in terms or work or money, towards the running of the site or special events related to the site. If custom icons were given away or sold for a low price now, it would devalue the contributions of those who supported the site during the years before there was enough traffic for it to support itself.

KChillie 124,270 89
10/06/2009 01:42 PM

NOW GET OFFA HIS LAWN!!!

Analog 9,387 18
10/06/2009 03:07 PM

After working for John for over a year I asked him if I could have one and was told "Sure, you just need to work for 6 weeks with no pay - 12 if you don't provide the icon yourself" sigh...

Alarm Clock the Chubby Robot 6,338 4
10/06/2009 03:16 PM

So can we get a custom icon for $150 (or even $200) if we provide the graphic ourselves?

Can there be nudity, and must it be a cartoon?

cycoivan 11,324 11
10/06/2009 03:26 PM

Maybe in the future all contests could be for a free custom icon. If you already have one (meaning that you've contributed something of significance) THEN you get money. That could save on random n00bs just joining to post an article and never doing anything of note again. That would also save money in case one of them wins. Finally, if you want one that bad then you have to be pretty funny to win it.

I'm just putting that out there.

Pants 14,203 17
10/06/2009 03:27 PM

Porter if you really want one and can't afford or earn one then just create it yourself. After you have created your custom icon go into your profile and set the icon to blank. Now all you have to do is upload your custom icon to a website and set a link to it in every post that you make.

Whammo! Custom icon for free.

cycoivan 11,324 11
10/06/2009 03:29 PM

The only place that wouldn't work is in the top 5 rankings. But since he'll never get there, he won't have to worry about it.

Does it smell like burnt steak in here? :)

Professor Fucksock 1,133 3
10/06/2009 04:08 PM

Why not just draw your custom icon on your monitor with a felt-tip pen...
Here's mine;

Pants 14,203 17 looks at Frostsock's icon
10/06/2009 04:21 PM

F-

Bill the Squirrel 53,128 53
10/06/2009 07:44 PM

I've already got a hundred dollars saved towards my icon. It is going to be a squirrel in a straight jacket. I think it is totally worth it.

Now that I don't have a woman, I think I should buy it next month, just for the hell of it.









I wonder if it is worth 300 buck to John, for him to put the header back to, "Where Comedy Reigns".....?

Pants 14,203 17
10/06/2009 07:56 PM

It is going to be a squirrel in a straight jacket.


I like the idea Bill but you should have the squirrel getting booted out of the front door of a house.

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
10/06/2009 08:02 PM

So can we get a custom icon for $150 (or even $200) if we provide the graphic ourselves?

Can there be nudity, and must it be a cartoon?


I know you're not very bright, Clock, so I'll type this slowly.

No.

No.

Not only must it be a cartoon, it must be a cartoon drawn by ZuG's resident artist. There is only one icon (a custom) left that was not drawn by the resident artist, and even that one is in semi-retirement.


As far as nudity goes, you may or may not have noticed, but any NSFW images you post are quickly deleted. Links to NSFW material seem to be fine, but the management definitely has shown an objection to direct posting of such images.

I've picked this up from observation, not experience, so I don't know if posting nudie pics will get you a warning letter or not. Or how many offenses it would take to get banned. Why don't you start posting them and let me know what the parameters turned out to be?

Frogpop 173,113 25
10/06/2009 10:48 PM

Oh snap.

Ta-da!

PorterHouse Steak 477 4
10/07/2009 06:40 AM

The only place that wouldn't work is in the top 5 rankings. But since he'll never get there, he won't have to worry about it.

Yea...I can never aspire to be like you cycoivan, I mean I can't spend ALL my day on her like you can. Just 3/4 of my day, Im only ranked 13th after being here for about a month. But its ok cycoivan, I am jellious that I can never be as funny as you love you too!

PorterHouse Steak 477 4
10/07/2009 06:46 AM

There! Now you are #1, you are now obligated to buy me since Thud says that Im still considered a n00b...

Just Ravos 62,329 20
10/07/2009 07:12 AM

I mean I can't spend ALL my day on her like you can

Maybe instead of asking John for an icon, you should be asking for viagra.

PorterHouse Steak 477 4
10/07/2009 07:20 AM

you should be asking for viagra.

Will that make me funny?

Whistler P. McMadness 4,360 10
10/07/2009 01:26 PM

Will that make me funny?

Depends.
You can pop a pill or two then go around town "accidentally" bumping into people and tell us how that went for you. That could work.


Of all my nightmares, playing a game of sidewalk chicken with a guy sporting a giant boner is close to or is the worst.

Jack-o-Ravos 62,329 20
10/07/2009 01:39 PM

Will that make me funny?

Well, since you can't stay on her all day long, I assume she already thinks you're funny. Or not, I guess she is probably laughing at you, not with you.

A.C. the Sanguisuge Frankenstein 6,338 4
10/07/2009 01:45 PM

Of all my nightmares, playing a game of sidewalk chicken with a guy sporting a giant boner is close to or is the worst.

I got to say that your Whistler impersonation was going pretty well spot on until you said that. That just gave you away as the fake.

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
10/07/2009 01:56 PM

He isn't using the Eddie G. icon, so I would say it's more of a tribute than an impersonation.

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 11,324 11
10/07/2009 02:12 PM

Yea...I can never aspire to be like you cycoivan, I mean I can't spend ALL my day on her like you can

Yeah, I know I am teh awesome. Although I am on all day. 50% of my day is dealing with retards on the phone so I don't get to post as much as I would like to.

Also, if we're giving Viagra away, I'd like one too. I mean just because I haven't seen my dick in 3 years doesn't mean I can't appreciate a 4 hour hard-on.

Jack-o-Ravos 62,329 20
10/07/2009 02:13 PM

Although I am on all day. 50% of my day is dealing with retards on the phone so I don't get to post as much as I would like to, I spend the other 50% dealing with retards here.

Ghost Lobstah: BOO! 17,414 30
10/07/2009 02:20 PM

Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple.

/Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 11,324 11
10/07/2009 02:20 PM

I spend the other 50% dealing with retards here.

Hey don't go putting Shakespeare that I was implying words in my mouth. I actually find the retard to decent person ratio pretty low here compared to other sites. I'd say it's about 10% dealing with tards here, and 5% if you take out the times when I'm being retarded.

A.C. the Sanguisuge Frankenstein 6,338 4
10/07/2009 05:43 PM

He isn't using the Eddie G. icon, so I would say it's more of a tribute than an impersonation.

Buck up there sport, don't be a Ben Stein.

Even Jimmy had a purpose once.

Some of us turn off the icons to judge more impartially. It makes my Emerson bleed when I have to vote for someone like that snake guy or the resident geezer/wiener grabber (what so happens to be a dude).

Bill the Zombie Squirrel 53,128 53
10/07/2009 09:26 PM

Alarm Clock,

I'm sorry, apparently the stupid has rubbed off.


Unobtrusively,


Bill