Mark Malkoff's Keys to the City Tour, Part 2 A comedy article
by John Hargrave 116,629 19 10/08/2009 05:26 PM 2589 views
Comedian/filmmaker Mark Malkoff has a mission to get 100 Keys to the City in 28 days [read our intro here]. The last few days have found Mark winding through Maryland and Virginia; here are the highlights.
Boonsboro, MD. In one of the stranger key-presenting moments, Mayor Skip Kaufman asked Mark to ride on a seesaw with him.
Frederick, MD. Mayor Jeff Holtzinger presented Mark with the city first-ever Key to the City, made of cardboard and aluminum foil. This could be a sign that it's time to raise taxes.
Westminster, MD. Mark was presented with a tiny, locket-sized key by Mayor Kevin Utz, which might say something about how proud he feels about his town. In return, Mark had to dust Westminster's tiny City Hall.
Manassas, VA. Mark is now turning down key requests; he was invited to receive a key by Mayor Hal Parrish, but he couldn't fit it into his busy key-receiving schedule. Just as well: Manassas was the hometown of John and Lorena Bobbitt, so no telling what Mark would have had to do to earn that one.
Fairfax, VA. To earn his key to Fairfax, Mayor Robert Lederer asked Mark to collect all the coins out of the city fountain. (Who hasn't wanted to do that?)
Vienna, VA. Mayor M. Jane Seeman asked Mark (who is afraid of heights) to change a traffic light, and in return gave him this unusual key, pointing out that Vienna is a TOWN, not a city. (Purists would say a Key to the Town does not count as a Key to the City, but we're not very pure.)
As Mark collects his 17th or 18th key in three days, we thought it was time for a friendly wager: who will be the first mainstream media outlet to pick up on Mark's story? CNN? New York Times? The Onion? Give your predictions below.