Straw's bank account 59,609 11
10/21/2009 01:38 AM

- somebody has made a promise they couldn't keep.

Pramable Lectern 53,464 11
10/21/2009 01:44 AM

-the curtains are on the floor, ceiling has green jello stuck to it, a spent condom is dried to the bathroom mirror, sink is broken, and the fridge has face prints.

TheFoye 53,734 10
10/21/2009 03:16 AM

-you're out of duct tape and you have to clean the blood, sweat, and tears out of your favorite shirt.

Pramable Lectern 53,464 11
10/21/2009 03:27 AM

-someone Frosted a watermellon and put it back in the fridge.

Manhole, G.E.D 7,849 8
10/21/2009 04:14 AM

- somebody has made a promise they couldn't keep.

Why do you keep bringing that up? For the last time, those pinatas seduced me.

THEY SEDUCED MEEEEEE!!!!!!

cakes and ale 2,137 4
10/21/2009 04:30 AM

"It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is."

TableTopJane 168,693 11
10/21/2009 05:57 AM

Damn, Pram.

Dogs Akimbo 158,693 11
10/21/2009 06:46 AM

...I came.

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 9,047 6
10/21/2009 06:49 AM

Frost if I know. That's the price I pay for being married.

Frogpop 155,661 12
10/21/2009 07:15 AM

- this van's a rockin'.

Mielke...some thing good to eat! 1,438 3
10/21/2009 07:36 AM

It's not sex if you fall asleep and let the Viagra do the rest of the work!

peoriagrace 5,962 9
10/21/2009 08:44 AM

Until there has been a sunrise and sunset.

Shemped on the 4th of July 16,478 9
10/21/2009 09:01 AM

- Some one calls the cops.

Shemped on the 4th of July 16,478 9
10/21/2009 09:03 AM

- My mother-in-law is watching from her Hovearound parked in the corner.

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 47,449 11
10/21/2009 09:42 AM

There is alcohol in Roofie (well duh, she's always drunk)

There are Tears for Fears ( I thought they broke up)

There is Joy in (someone elses) Pain

Ghost of Chickens Past 238,102 14
10/21/2009 05:16 PM

The Rooster Crows.

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 9,047 6
10/21/2009 05:20 PM

-some one's wearing a ball gag and there's enough leather to reupholster a cow.

Ghost of Chickens Past 238,102 14
10/21/2009 05:36 PM

Obligatory for Gab : Child protective services gets involved.

Amityville Ravos 34,376 10
10/21/2009 05:45 PM

-someone loses an eye. Then it's a sport.

MungChamp 22,599 16
10/21/2009 06:34 PM

the cooter looks like a slowly opened grilled cheese when you're done.

KChiki #668 - Neighbor of the Beast 50,423 11
10/21/2009 06:45 PM

-someone throws up in their mouth a little.

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 47,449 11
10/21/2009 07:00 PM

There goes the neighborhood...a haiku

Straw's bank account 59,609 11
10/21/2009 09:58 PM

- someone's been five-orbed

Brad Poynter 7,186 7
10/21/2009 10:01 PM

it is.

Amityville Ravos 34,376 10
10/21/2009 10:02 PM

- Pubah makes an attempt to serenade you with nonsense from your front yard.

Amityville Ravos 34,376 10
10/21/2009 10:09 PM

- your exclamation point is italicized.

Dead Madness' Party 1,400 5
10/21/2009 10:50 PM

Your parents catch you doing it on their bed.

...After you've been living on your own for several years.

A.C. the Sanguisuge Frankenstein 5,980 4
10/21/2009 11:35 PM

-there is alcohol and roofies.

... with both parties taking taking the roofies to make it bearable of course.

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 47,449 11
10/21/2009 11:51 PM

Don't knock it till you've tried it. Midnite Front Lawn Serenades have worked...

...infrequently.

Amityville Ravos 34,376 10
10/21/2009 11:51 PM

Such is the love that is shared between Lobstah & Robot.

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 9,047 6
10/22/2009 12:02 AM

According to the Landover Bapists, it's not sex until you stick your hoo-hoo-dilly into her cha-cha. Any other orfice or combination thereof is OK.

A.C. the Sanguisuge Frankenstein 5,980 4
10/22/2009 12:06 AM

That's better than most all the porn I've ever seen, Cyco.

KChiki #668 - Neighbor of the Beast 50,423 11
10/22/2009 12:11 AM

So she gets to be a naked little whore and he gets to keep his dignity tighty-whitey's on?? What kind of double standard is that??

KChiki #668 - Neighbor of the Beast 50,423 11
10/22/2009 12:13 AM

-it's strictly forbidden by most religious groups and illegal in 47 U.S. States and 3 Canadian Provinces.

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 9,047 6
10/22/2009 12:16 AM

Just for Shakespeares and giggles, this http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?s=26b4a40aaa568060d6d27efcc33851f2&t=19497&page=2 is where I got that picture from. Watching the Christers try to defend that picture is some funny Shakespeare (not as funny as Zug though)

Your mileage may vary depending on your spiritual beliefs.

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 9,047 6
10/22/2009 12:19 AM

KChiki- these are Baptists, they barely a step above the burka wearing Muslim sects in how women are treated.

Out of morbid curiosity, In which 3 states is your sex act legal? I wanna live there. I'm guessing 1 is Nevada.

KChiki #668 - Neighbor of the Beast 50,423 11
10/22/2009 12:31 AM

Nevada, Florida and California.

TheFoye 53,734 10
10/22/2009 12:42 AM

-someone throws up in their mouth a little.

That kinda turned me on. Was my dick in her throat when it happened?

KChiki #668 - Neighbor of the Beast 50,423 11
10/22/2009 12:43 AM

Also, she's obviously a whore because she shaves her "area" (as they call it).

HalloJeeni 11,032 10
10/22/2009 01:23 AM

Notice he has a neckline as if he's wearing a t-shirt, but his belly button is drawn in. Odd drawing. Maybe they used a ken doll to draw from.

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 9,047 6
10/22/2009 01:35 AM

Also, she's obviously a whore because she shaves her "area" (as they call it).

Well, what do you expect? They used an 8 year old girl as the model.

Also in the interest of disclosure, the Landover Bapist site is supposed to be a parody site, but it's so spot on that you can't really be sure who is a True Christian (trademarked) and who's faking it.

Cinderblock 19,846 10
10/22/2009 03:54 AM

-you can be tried in a federal court.

I don't know, I'm tired.

Pramable Lectern 53,464 11
10/22/2009 04:34 AM

-your bed hurls you out the window.

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 47,449 11
10/22/2009 11:07 AM

But will you respect love me tomorrow?

Frogpop 155,661 12
10/22/2009 11:09 AM

- Pubah is peaking in the window from the alley.

Frogpop 155,661 12
10/22/2009 11:10 AM

or peeking, whichever.

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 47,449 11
10/22/2009 08:04 PM

Both!

At the same time.

Frogpop 155,661 12
10/23/2009 07:28 AM

ur gross.

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 47,449 11
10/23/2009 07:30 AM

No, I'm Pubah. And you are not.

Reverend Dave 'Hell' Rodriguez 2,330 0
10/23/2009 10:10 AM

It's not sex unless you microwave the body first.

Amityville Ravos 34,376 10
10/23/2009 02:34 PM

I'm Pubah. And you are not.

Captain Obvious to the response!

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 47,449 11 Tries to get back to the origional theme...
10/23/2009 05:33 PM

It's not sex unless-
-She has several orgasms.

Crouching Ravos, Hidden Dragon 34,376 10
10/23/2009 05:38 PM

- you can last longer than 20 seconds.

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 47,449 11
10/27/2009 05:28 AM

-You're dressed like a cute little bunny rabbit...

and I'm dressed as an otter

A.C. the Sanguisuge Frankenstein 5,980 4
10/27/2009 05:31 AM

-an eight foot tape measure isn't long enough.

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 47,449 11
10/27/2009 05:42 AM

-Eight foot of Duct Tape isn't enough...

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 47,449 11
10/27/2009 06:12 AM

-Lots of Lime Jell-o is involved.

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 9,047 6
10/28/2009 01:10 AM

-it disgusts even Japanese people

TheFoye 53,734 10
10/28/2009 01:56 AM

-please!
don't!
stop!

sounds like

Please don't stop!

cakes and ale 2,137 4
10/28/2009 05:30 AM

Does anyone actually have Jello in their house? They sell it at the bodega on the corner. It's so old that it didn't require an expiration date when it was made. What the hell? It's 3am and it's not as though you're going to injest it on purpose anyway. Three days and six showers later you're still trying to deglaze yourself, the walls and the counter tops in the kitchen. So I've heard.

Taco Crunch: it's got electrolytes 55,621 21
10/28/2009 06:22 PM

Does anyone actually have Jello in their house?

You must not be an American. Everybody has jello in their house.

KChiki #668 - Neighbor of the Beast 50,423 11
10/28/2009 06:24 PM

I have Jell-o AND Kool-Aid in my pantry at home!

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 9,047 6
10/28/2009 06:30 PM

It's not sex unless there's an OH YEAH!

/obligatory

Night of the Living Ravos 34,376 10
10/28/2009 06:39 PM

- unless it involves booze, 12 guys, a 15 year old girl, and 20 or so bystanders.

Night of the Living Ravos 34,376 10
10/28/2009 06:43 PM

- put on your wizard hat in anticipation.

Disco Poltergeist 2,237 5
10/28/2009 07:18 PM

- There's a dead hooker in the trunk in the morning.

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 9,047 6
10/28/2009 10:30 PM

You can't find it defined in the Urban Dictionary