Straw's bank account 95,470 36
10/20/2009 04:38 PM

- somebody has made a promise they couldn't keep.

Pramable Lectern 78,171 40
10/20/2009 04:44 PM

-the curtains are on the floor, ceiling has green jello stuck to it, a spent condom is dried to the bathroom mirror, sink is broken, and the fridge has face prints.

TheFoye 55,700 15
10/20/2009 06:16 PM

-you're out of duct tape and you have to clean the blood, sweat, and tears out of your favorite shirt.

Pramable Lectern 78,171 40
10/20/2009 06:27 PM

-someone Frosted a watermellon and put it back in the fridge.

Manhole, G.E.D 20,243 26
10/20/2009 07:14 PM

- somebody has made a promise they couldn't keep.

Why do you keep bringing that up? For the last time, those pinatas seduced me.

THEY SEDUCED MEEEEEE!!!!!!

cakes and ale 2,403 6
10/20/2009 07:30 PM

"It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is."

TableTopJane 173,911 15
10/20/2009 08:57 PM

Damn, Pram.

Dogs Akimbo 205,280 31
10/20/2009 09:46 PM

...I came.

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 11,324 11
10/20/2009 09:49 PM

Frost if I know. That's the price I pay for being married.

Frogpop 173,113 25
10/20/2009 10:15 PM

- this van's a rockin'.

Mielke...some thing good to eat! 1,480 5
10/20/2009 10:36 PM

It's not sex if you fall asleep and let the Viagra do the rest of the work!

peoriagrace 6,153 11
10/20/2009 11:44 PM

Until there has been a sunrise and sunset.

Shemped on the 4th of July 22,212 16
10/21/2009 12:01 AM

- Some one calls the cops.

Shemped on the 4th of July 22,212 16
10/21/2009 12:03 AM

- My mother-in-law is watching from her Hovearound parked in the corner.

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 54,888 17
10/21/2009 12:42 AM

There is alcohol in Roofie (well duh, she's always drunk)

There are Tears for Fears ( I thought they broke up)

There is Joy in (someone elses) Pain

Ghost of Chickens Past 282,028 58
10/21/2009 08:16 AM

The Rooster Crows.

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 11,324 11
10/21/2009 08:20 AM

-some one's wearing a ball gag and there's enough leather to reupholster a cow.

Ghost of Chickens Past 282,028 58
10/21/2009 08:36 AM

Obligatory for Gab : Child protective services gets involved.

Amityville Ravos 62,361 20
10/21/2009 08:45 AM

-someone loses an eye. Then it's a sport.

MungChamp 35,886 35
10/21/2009 09:34 AM

the cooter looks like a slowly opened grilled cheese when you're done.

KChiki #668 - Neighbor of the Beast 124,276 89
10/21/2009 09:45 AM

-someone throws up in their mouth a little.

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 54,888 17
10/21/2009 10:00 AM

There goes the neighborhood...a haiku

Straw's bank account 95,470 36
10/21/2009 12:58 PM

- someone's been five-orbed

Brad Poynter 35,418 48
10/21/2009 01:01 PM

it is.

Amityville Ravos 62,361 20
10/21/2009 01:02 PM

- Pubah makes an attempt to serenade you with nonsense from your front yard.

Amityville Ravos 62,361 20
10/21/2009 01:09 PM

- your exclamation point is italicized.

Dead Madness' Party 4,360 10
10/21/2009 01:50 PM

Your parents catch you doing it on their bed.

...After you've been living on your own for several years.

A.C. the Sanguisuge Frankenstein 6,338 4
10/21/2009 02:35 PM

-there is alcohol and roofies.

... with both parties taking taking the roofies to make it bearable of course.

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 54,888 17
10/21/2009 02:51 PM

Don't knock it till you've tried it. Midnite Front Lawn Serenades have worked...

...infrequently.

Amityville Ravos 62,361 20
10/21/2009 02:51 PM

Such is the love that is shared between Lobstah & Robot.

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 11,324 11
10/21/2009 03:02 PM

According to the Landover Bapists, it's not sex until you stick your hoo-hoo-dilly into her cha-cha. Any other orfice or combination thereof is OK.

A.C. the Sanguisuge Frankenstein 6,338 4
10/21/2009 03:06 PM

That's better than most all the porn I've ever seen, Cyco.

KChiki #668 - Neighbor of the Beast 124,276 89
10/21/2009 03:11 PM

So she gets to be a naked little whore and he gets to keep his dignity tighty-whitey's on?? What kind of double standard is that??

KChiki #668 - Neighbor of the Beast 124,276 89
10/21/2009 03:13 PM

-it's strictly forbidden by most religious groups and illegal in 47 U.S. States and 3 Canadian Provinces.

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 11,324 11
10/21/2009 03:16 PM

Just for Shakespeares and giggles, this http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?s=26b4a40aaa568060d6d27efcc33851f2&t=19497&page=2 is where I got that picture from. Watching the Christers try to defend that picture is some funny Shakespeare (not as funny as Zug though)

Your mileage may vary depending on your spiritual beliefs.

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 11,324 11
10/21/2009 03:19 PM

KChiki- these are Baptists, they barely a step above the burka wearing Muslim sects in how women are treated.

Out of morbid curiosity, In which 3 states is your sex act legal? I wanna live there. I'm guessing 1 is Nevada.

KChiki #668 - Neighbor of the Beast 124,276 89
10/21/2009 03:31 PM

Nevada, Florida and California.

TheFoye 55,700 15
10/21/2009 03:42 PM

-someone throws up in their mouth a little.

That kinda turned me on. Was my dick in her throat when it happened?

KChiki #668 - Neighbor of the Beast 124,276 89
10/21/2009 03:43 PM

Also, she's obviously a whore because she shaves her "area" (as they call it).

HalloJeeni 43,368 49
10/21/2009 04:23 PM

Notice he has a neckline as if he's wearing a t-shirt, but his belly button is drawn in. Odd drawing. Maybe they used a ken doll to draw from.

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 11,324 11
10/21/2009 04:35 PM

Also, she's obviously a whore because she shaves her "area" (as they call it).

Well, what do you expect? They used an 8 year old girl as the model.

Also in the interest of disclosure, the Landover Bapist site is supposed to be a parody site, but it's so spot on that you can't really be sure who is a True Christian (trademarked) and who's faking it.

Cinderblock 27,522 24
10/21/2009 06:54 PM

-you can be tried in a federal court.

I don't know, I'm tired.

Pramable Lectern 78,171 40
10/21/2009 07:34 PM

-your bed hurls you out the window.

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 54,888 17
10/22/2009 02:07 AM

But will you respect love me tomorrow?

Frogpop 173,113 25
10/22/2009 02:09 AM

- Pubah is peaking in the window from the alley.

Frogpop 173,113 25
10/22/2009 02:10 AM

or peeking, whichever.

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 54,888 17
10/22/2009 11:04 AM

Both!

At the same time.

Frogpop 173,113 25
10/22/2009 10:28 PM

ur gross.

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 54,888 17
10/22/2009 10:30 PM

No, I'm Pubah. And you are not.

Reverend Dave 'Hell' Rodriguez 2,413 0
10/23/2009 01:10 AM

It's not sex unless you microwave the body first.

Amityville Ravos 62,361 20
10/23/2009 05:34 AM

I'm Pubah. And you are not.

Captain Obvious to the response!

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 54,888 17 Tries to get back to the origional theme...
10/23/2009 08:33 AM

It's not sex unless-
-She has several orgasms.

Crouching Ravos, Hidden Dragon 62,361 20
10/23/2009 08:38 AM

- you can last longer than 20 seconds.

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 54,888 17
10/26/2009 08:28 PM

-You're dressed like a cute little bunny rabbit...

and I'm dressed as an otter

A.C. the Sanguisuge Frankenstein 6,338 4
10/26/2009 08:31 PM

-an eight foot tape measure isn't long enough.

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 54,888 17
10/26/2009 08:42 PM

-Eight foot of Duct Tape isn't enough...

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 54,888 17
10/26/2009 09:12 PM

-Lots of Lime Jell-o is involved.

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 11,324 11
10/27/2009 04:10 PM

-it disgusts even Japanese people

TheFoye 55,700 15
10/27/2009 04:56 PM

-please!
don't!
stop!

sounds like

Please don't stop!

cakes and ale 2,403 6
10/27/2009 08:30 PM

Does anyone actually have Jello in their house? They sell it at the bodega on the corner. It's so old that it didn't require an expiration date when it was made. What the hell? It's 3am and it's not as though you're going to injest it on purpose anyway. Three days and six showers later you're still trying to deglaze yourself, the walls and the counter tops in the kitchen. So I've heard.

Taco Crunch: it's got electrolytes 61,959 36
10/28/2009 09:22 AM

Does anyone actually have Jello in their house?

You must not be an American. Everybody has jello in their house.

KChiki #668 - Neighbor of the Beast 124,276 89
10/28/2009 09:24 AM

I have Jell-o AND Kool-Aid in my pantry at home!

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 11,324 11
10/28/2009 09:30 AM

It's not sex unless there's an OH YEAH!

/obligatory

Night of the Living Ravos 62,361 20
10/28/2009 09:39 AM

- unless it involves booze, 12 guys, a 15 year old girl, and 20 or so bystanders.

Night of the Living Ravos 62,361 20
10/28/2009 09:43 AM

- put on your wizard hat in anticipation.

Disco Poltergeist 4,322 8
10/28/2009 10:18 AM

- There's a dead hooker in the trunk in the morning.

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 11,324 11
10/28/2009 01:30 PM

You can't find it defined in the Urban Dictionary