- somebody has made a promise they couldn't keep.

-the curtains are on the floor, ceiling has green jello stuck to it, a spent condom is dried to the bathroom mirror, sink is broken, and the fridge has face prints.

-you're out of duct tape and you have to clean the blood, sweat, and tears out of your favorite shirt.

-someone Frosted a watermellon and put it back in the fridge.

- somebody has made a promise they couldn't keep.

Why do you keep bringing that up? For the last time, those pinatas seduced me.

THEY SEDUCED MEEEEEE!!!!!!

"It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is."

Damn, Pram.

...I came.

Frost if I know. That's the price I pay for being married.

- this van's a rockin'.

It's not sex if you fall asleep and let the Viagra do the rest of the work!

Until there has been a sunrise and sunset.

- Some one calls the cops.

- My mother-in-law is watching from her Hovearound parked in the corner.

There is alcohol in Roofie (well duh, she's always drunk)

There are Tears for Fears ( I thought they broke up)

There is Joy in (someone elses) Pain

The Rooster Crows.

-some one's wearing a ball gag and there's enough leather to reupholster a cow.

Obligatory for Gab : Child protective services gets involved.

-someone loses an eye. Then it's a sport.

the cooter looks like a slowly opened grilled cheese when you're done.

-someone throws up in their mouth a little.

There goes the neighborhood...a haiku

- someone's been five-orbed

it is.

- Pubah makes an attempt to serenade you with nonsense from your front yard.

- your exclamation point is italicized.

Your parents catch you doing it on their bed.

...After you've been living on your own for several years.

-there is alcohol and roofies.

... with both parties taking taking the roofies to make it bearable of course.

Don't knock it till you've tried it. Midnite Front Lawn Serenades have worked...

...infrequently.

Such is the love that is shared between Lobstah & Robot.

According to the Landover Bapists, it's not sex until you stick your hoo-hoo-dilly into her cha-cha. Any other orfice or combination thereof is OK.

That's better than most all the porn I've ever seen, Cyco.

So she gets to be a naked little whore and he gets to keep his dignity tighty-whitey's on?? What kind of double standard is that??

-it's strictly forbidden by most religious groups and illegal in 47 U.S. States and 3 Canadian Provinces.

Just for Shakespeares and giggles, this http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?s=26b4a40aaa568060d6d27efcc33851f2&t=19497&page=2 is where I got that picture from. Watching the Christers try to defend that picture is some funny Shakespeare (not as funny as Zug though)

Your mileage may vary depending on your spiritual beliefs.

KChiki- these are Baptists, they barely a step above the burka wearing Muslim sects in how women are treated.

Out of morbid curiosity, In which 3 states is your sex act legal? I wanna live there. I'm guessing 1 is Nevada.

Nevada, Florida and California.

-someone throws up in their mouth a little.

That kinda turned me on. Was my dick in her throat when it happened?

Also, she's obviously a whore because she shaves her "area" (as they call it).

Notice he has a neckline as if he's wearing a t-shirt, but his belly button is drawn in. Odd drawing. Maybe they used a ken doll to draw from.

Also, she's obviously a whore because she shaves her "area" (as they call it).

Well, what do you expect? They used an 8 year old girl as the model.

Also in the interest of disclosure, the Landover Bapist site is supposed to be a parody site, but it's so spot on that you can't really be sure who is a True Christian (trademarked) and who's faking it.

-you can be tried in a federal court.

I don't know, I'm tired.

-your bed hurls you out the window.

But will you respect love me tomorrow?

- Pubah is peaking in the window from the alley.

or peeking, whichever.

Both!

At the same time.

ur gross.

No, I'm Pubah. And you are not.

It's not sex unless you microwave the body first.

I'm Pubah. And you are not.

Captain Obvious to the response!

It's not sex unless-
-She has several orgasms.

- you can last longer than 20 seconds.

-You're dressed like a cute little bunny rabbit...

and I'm dressed as an otter

-an eight foot tape measure isn't long enough.

-Eight foot of Duct Tape isn't enough...

-Lots of Lime Jell-o is involved.

-it disgusts even Japanese people

-please!
don't!
stop!

sounds like

Please don't stop!

Does anyone actually have Jello in their house? They sell it at the bodega on the corner. It's so old that it didn't require an expiration date when it was made. What the hell? It's 3am and it's not as though you're going to injest it on purpose anyway. Three days and six showers later you're still trying to deglaze yourself, the walls and the counter tops in the kitchen. So I've heard.

Does anyone actually have Jello in their house?

You must not be an American. Everybody has jello in their house.

I have Jell-o AND Kool-Aid in my pantry at home!

It's not sex unless there's an OH YEAH!

/obligatory

- unless it involves booze, 12 guys, a 15 year old girl, and 20 or so bystanders.

- put on your wizard hat in anticipation.

- There's a dead hooker in the trunk in the morning.

You can't find it defined in the Urban Dictionary