Building the Smashproof Pumpkin, Part 2 A comedy article
by Brad Poynter 35,418 48 10/20/2009 04:55 PM 5108 views
The Preparation
Before I got into the testing phase of Building The Smashproof Pumpkin [read Part 1 here], I had to prepare my materials. I needed four pumpkins, concrete, pea gravel, and a can of spray foam. The fourth pumpkin would be the control for the experiment -- we would smaShakespeare in its unaltered state, to establish a baseline.
Fine specimens of Cucurbita Maxima.
My three daughters helped me hollow out the test pumpkins, and my wife decorated the largest pumpkin as a vampire, because "vampires are in right now, dear."
At least it's a happy vampire.
I selected the pumpkin that already had the outline of a face on it.
That's one angry pumpkin.
Even angrier.
My wife created the next face, which was to become eerily prophetic.
Surprised or scared? You decide.
Then I had my oldest daughter label the control pumpkin, which she did in typical preteen fashion.
The vigor of youth.
We chose the disgruntled pumpkin to receive the concrete. Not having much experience with concrete, I read the directions. There were no pumpkin-related tips, so I was left to play it by ear. Using the pumpkin as its own measuring device, I filled it to the top with dry cement.
You'd be pissed off, too.
I dumped the contents into my wheelbarrow and mixed the water in with my shovel. Filling the pumpkin with wet cement was a messy process, but I cleaned it up and set it on the deck rail so the mixture could harden.
His anger turns to strength.
Next up: the pea gravel. My girls and I took the Happy Vampire out to the driveway to fortify its fibrous innards. Scooping up handfuls at a time, we began to fill the gourd.
"Pumpkin Rain"
Only stopping when there was just enough room for the lid to fit, I paused for a moment to admire our handiwork.
Head full of rocks.
It was time to prepare our last test substance: spray foam.
I cant believe it either, Mr. Pumpkin.
Remember when I read the instructions for the concrete? I should have done the same for the spray foam. Blissfully unaware of how to use the stuff, I filled the frightened pumpkin all the way to the top.
Yum! Cream filling!
Looking back I knew it was going to expand, but I expected it just be a little bubble at the top, not the disaster that unfolded in this hastily-shot time lapse video:
After the eruption and the laughter of my children had subsided, I allowed the foam to dry and harden. I then removed enough foam from the top with a knife to make room for the cap to fit.
Enough spilled out to fill another pumpkin.
With nothing left to do but wait, I left the pumpkins to ponder their fate.
While the backstory (part 1) was needed, it wasn't really funny. This one had me chuckling the whole way through... good captions and images. Can't wait to read the next part. (Which may already be posted, thereby making this comment look stupid. I'm used to it.)
Also, a tip that's a little too late - don't show preteens spray foam. That's gonna come back to bite you in the butt.
Although it may not be hilarious, I think it's interesting. And appropriate for the time of year. Also great use of the scientific method.
I think I'll stay tuned.
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