The Celebrity Gutter Prank: First Come, First Served
A comedy article
by John Hargrave | 10/23/2009 01:02 PM | 1303 views
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We recently auctioned off Charlize Theron's gutter debris, which we collected during our Celebrity Gutter Prank, giving the proceeds to Theron's charity.
"Thank you, Celebrity Gutters!"
The winning bidder, ZUG reader French Mailman, bid over $20.00 for this celebrity keepsake. As promised, we sent all proceeds to Theron's charity:
Unfortunately, French Mailman lives in Canada, and because it is time-consuming and expensive to ship vegetable matter over the border, he suggested we do something to raise even more money for Theron's charity.
So here's what we're going to do: we're going to share Charlize Theron's gutter debris with all of you.
I once heard of a memorial service where the dead guy was cremated, then each guest was given a spoonful of his ashes to take home with them. The man's last request was that each guest scatter the ashes somewhere meaningful to them: the ocean, a scenic view, or at their favorite Olive Garden.
I always thought that was a cool, and disgusting, way to go: to make your friends scatter your ashes to the corners of the Earth.
We'd like to do the same for Charlize Theron's gutter debris.
So here's the plan: we're looking for as many volunteers as possible to take some of Charlize Theron's gutter debris, and place it somewhere meaningful. This could be your garden, a local pet store, or the frozen food section at the supermarket. Maybe you put it in a pipe and smoke it. It's up to you, as long as you take a picture and send it in.
In return for each picture we receive, we will donate $1.00 to Charlize Theron Africa Outreach Project -- enough to feed a village for 21 days, build them a new schoolhouse, and buy One Laptop Per Child. We will then make a photo collage of all the people who helped, for all posterity, just like on the Charlize Theron charity Web site.
Please respond only if you are interested in completing the experiment. This is 100% authentic Charlize Theron gutter debris, and quantities are extremely limited. First come, first served.
Interested parties should respond to zugmail@zug.com. Please include:
- Your full name
- Mailing address (sorry, U.S. residents only)
- Your proposed resting place of Charlize Theron's gutter debris
This offer ends in one week, Friday 10/30/09, or when our gutter debris supply runs out.
Help us create a safer and healthier life for impoverished children and communities of South Africa -- and the twigs and berries we found in Charlize Theron's gutters. Act now!
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Like This? Rate It!
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Side-splitting
6 votes
5.0
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
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Crouching Ravos, Hidden Dragon
10/23/2009 01:08 PM
You got a real deal there John. Most people only have 1 twig and 2 berries, but Ms. Theron has tons of twigs, and possibly even more berries. And even more to spare!
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0 votes
0.0
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Brad Poynter
10/23/2009 01:29 PM
I'm in.
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
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The Mailman
10/23/2009 02:50 PM
Unfortunately, French Mailman lives in Canada, and because it is time-consuming and expensive to ship vegetable matter over the border, he suggested we do something to raise even more money for Theron's charity.
So here's what we're going to do: we're going to share Charlize Theron's gutter debris with all of you.
I'll be happy to particip... Wait. Nevermind.
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0 votes
0.0
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cakes and ale
10/23/2009 06:11 PM
This isn't just any gutter debris. This is celebrity gutter debris. Even in the afterlife it will expect a higher standard of gutter. Madonna lives in a building with very thin walls according to one neighbor one block away from me. How hard could it be to get into Madge's building? Let's do it for the children! That Madonna couldn't adopt.
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0 votes
0.0
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TopHatSnake
10/24/2009 01:02 PM
Im in.
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0 votes
0.0
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Straw's bank account
10/29/2009 03:53 AM
I just saw this thread after John tweeted it. I sent an e-mail request, and I hope I'm not too late!
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Your What?! Hurts?
10/29/2009 02:10 PM
Is there an option where you pay a little more, and you get to bone Ms. Theron? 'Cause I'm totally down with that idea.
The gutter debris? Not so much.
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0 votes
0.0
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John Hargrave
10/29/2009 07:48 PM
Reminder: this offer ends tomorrow!
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0 votes
0.0
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WhereWolf?
10/30/2009 12:56 AM
I sent an email, but I didn't get any type of conformation.
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0 votes
0.0
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A.C. the Sanguisuge Frankenstein
10/30/2009 01:19 AM
I would just like to say thank you for your generosity Mailman.
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0 votes
0.0
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Stephen Hand
11/12/2009 03:47 PM
Holy crapola. What did you do, add potpourri to the berries? They have a fragrance stronger than anything I've ever smelt. Almost passed out upon opening that envelope. I believe the whole of River Street will be smelling that gutter trash after I take it downtown tomorrow or Saturday.
Get ready Savannah!
On the other hand, at least it'll cover up Savannah's usually musty smell.
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0 votes
0.0
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UnderSpiced Rum
11/12/2009 05:02 PM
I received the gutter debris today too. I agree - the scent of this stuff is strong, but nice. I might make a sachet to put into my underwear drawer after this is over.
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0 votes
0.0
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KChiki's Gravy & Mashed 'Tatoes!
11/20/2009 07:15 PM
I received my gutter debris late, but am finishing my prank today. Look out FDIC!
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