A.C. the Sanguisuge Frankenstein 5,845 4
10/27/2009 05:29 AM

They should totally put porn stories on the back of shampoo bottles. I'm so tired of reading about sodium laureth, fragrance, and milk thistle extract.

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 47,449 11
10/27/2009 05:40 AM

Sitting on the pooper, reading my junk mail...
What should spring from out of nowhere?

A HUGE WASP!

"Holy Shakespeare", I exclaimed as I sprang to my feet and pulled up my underwear (skidmark will be an UNDERSTATEMENT).

The only thing handy to kill the Froster was a spray bottle of Tilex...

...Picture if you will, a negro with his pants half down spraying tilex at a pissed off Hornet/wasp.

Thank God I got enough poisonous chemical on the flying Froster to the ground. I quickly wrapped the winged wheilder of war wands in Shakespeare stained toilet paper and tossed it in the toilet.

One flush, two flush...three...It finally stopped fighting and swirled down the drain. I can't help but wonder...what killed it:
The Tilex, the toilet water, or my poop?

A.C. the Sanguisuge Frankenstein 5,845 4
10/27/2009 05:46 AM

Pubah,

You should seriously consider taking a legitimate shot at writing children's books. Earnestly, mull it over. You paint a good picture and I'm sure many young uns would love to hear the harrowing tales of Pubah versus the Hornet King and his banishment down the brown tunnel of squish.

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 47,449 11
10/27/2009 06:14 AM

I'll take that under advisement...

...AFTER I wash my ASS!

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 47,449 11
10/27/2009 07:07 AM

Speaking of expressive pictures:
You should have seen the one painted in my drawers...Quite expressive.

There will be no pictures.

Frogpop 154,887 12
10/27/2009 08:36 AM

This thread?

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 8,153 6
10/27/2009 08:18 PM

...Picture if you will, a negro with his pants half down spraying tilex at a pissed off Hornet/wasp.

The question is, how do I unpicture it? I'm getting distracted at work here.

KChiki #668 - Neighbor of the Beast 50,083 11
10/28/2009 12:26 AM

They should totally put porn stories on the back of shampoo bottles. I'm so tired of reading about sodium laureth, fragrance, and milk thistle extract.









Fag.

Whistler P. McManus 140,209 20
10/28/2009 07:00 AM

Who stole our Pubah and replaced him with this funny person? Thanks for the laughs, but I want my chocolate pal back.

Humphrey 51,323 10
10/28/2009 09:12 AM

Every single one of Pram's posts (except the one where he wanted to tape his dick to someone's forehead).

Bride of Frankenfurter 167,976 11
10/29/2009 04:48 AM

Best Pubah posts ever!!! Now I wanna go take a dump to see if I can muster up some funny!

A.C. the Sanguisuge Frankenstein 5,845 4
10/29/2009 05:53 AM

Are you sure you killed it though Pubah? You know, an ant can live at least a whole day under water, and some insects have special adaptations like holding an air bubble in their mandibles. I'm just sayin'... he might have you right where he wants you now.

He probably has a prejudice against pickle shaped, brown objects now, so be careful what you dangle in there while sitting down next time.

Let us know if there's a round two.

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 47,449 11
10/30/2009 12:36 AM

Round Two:
Pubah/Tilex...5 long brown ones
Wasp/Hornet Thingy...nuthin!

Pubah/Tilex WINS!

Ghost Lobstah: BOO! 9,778 9
10/30/2009 01:06 AM

Stupid things I've read:

The Bible.

Yeah, that about sums it up.

Cyco Chainsaw Massacre 8,153 6
10/30/2009 03:05 AM

You actually read that Shakespeare? I thought it was just for display purposes only.

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 47,449 11
10/30/2009 03:07 AM

She had to do something in that hotel room with Robolt

Manhole G.E.D 7,512 8
10/30/2009 04:06 AM

Stupid things I've read:

The Bible.

The Bible's not a stupid book. It's a wonderful story and source of inspiration to many. The people that actually believe it? Well if they were readable, I'm sure they'd say some pretty stupid stuff.

A.C. the Sanguisuge Frankenstein 5,845 4
10/30/2009 04:43 AM

The Bible is alright as far as stories go, but there are certainly better. In my opinion, it could stand to have more robots. (They could have muddied up cleared up a lot of things if they put some dinosaurs in there too.) Possibly have some robot/nephilim battles or something, and a few more cameos would help too. Personally, I'd prefer Angus Sheep Froster Thermopyle in it if anyone reads any S. R. Donaldson. He would have raped the Shakespeare out of Mary and Jesus wouldn't have been such a whiney Poe with a father who shoots lasers out of his hands.

Manhole G.E.D 7,512 8
10/30/2009 04:56 AM

In my opinion, it could stand to have more robots

Now that you mention it, Jesus might have been a robot from the future sent back in time by the conservatives.

WhereWolf? 72,604 13
10/30/2009 05:36 AM

Personally, I'd prefer Angus Sheep Froster Thermopyle in it if anyone reads any S. R. Donaldson.

The fact that you mentioned my favorite author makes me forgive you a little bit for Frost-ing up my GAB with all your grab-ass with Lobster.

Just a little bit.

A.C. the Sanguisuge Frankenstein 5,845 4
10/30/2009 05:42 AM

Now that you mention it, Jesus might have been a robot from the future sent back in time by the conservatives.

Frost the whole current popular Christian conservative viewpoint for a minute as I always do.

I was just about to start bitching and whining, then it clicked to me: Regardless, the point is, the J-man wanted to be a martyr. I guess he would have supported the right to keep and bear spears.

You're right, Manhole. I concede, and I apologize if we did actually start all this Christo Rey bullShakespeare.

I gotta stop drinking so much vodka while I'm at work.

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 47,449 11
10/30/2009 06:48 AM

Stupid things I've read:
"Canadian Folk Singer Killed By a Bear"

So THAT's where DeClan went to hibernate.

Manhole G.E.D 7,512 8
10/30/2009 06:53 AM

Future Conservative Party Meeting:

Host - "OK people, we're in trouble. Just look out the window, the evidence is everywhere. Look at all those people........ zooming around in their electric cars......all with health insurance. Oil and pharmaceuticals are down so low I had to sell my 16th summer home! If we don't come up with something I'm afraid we'll have to settle for pra..........................pri......................private jets wi..................... with............. without leather seats."

Crowd - BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Conservative 1 - "Fear not! I have a solution! We can send a robot back in time and make people believe it's God. Then we can tell the people they have to believe what ever it tells them!"

Host - "What? Tell them the earth is only 6000 years old so there is no need to worry about global warming?"

Conservative 1 - "Ummm, well, maybe stuff that's at least somewhat believable? They can't be that gullible."

Crowd - "Where is this robot anyway, can we see it?"

***Robot Jesus descends from the ceiling with outstretched arms***

Robot Jesus- "Behold My Glory."

Conservative 1 - "Meet our savior fellow conservatives! Its name is J-E-S-U-S! It has super advanced technology and can fool ignorant people into believing it's God."

Conservative 2 - "Ohh I know! We can send it back in time and make the Jewish people realize that they're not actually the center of the universe!"

Conservative 3 - "What is that gonna accomplish! Peace!!??!? We should send Jesus back in time and tell everyone that if they do what it tells them to do they can live forever!"

Crowd - "Yes that's it! Then we can feed them whatever bullShakespeare we want and they'll believe it!!"

Conservative 3 - "Yes yes! We can tell them to form local cults where they can gather and pile tax free money into bowls and then send it to conservative repositories."

Host - "This is it! This is the answer to power... Make ignorant people believe what we want them to for the sole purpose of making us conservatives richer. MWAAAA HAHAHAHAHAH!"

Crowd - (in unison) MWAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 47,449 11
10/30/2009 07:01 AM

Simple Algebra...

If
Religion is the Opium of the Masses

Then
Opium is the Religion of the Asses

Night of the Living Ravos 33,480 9
10/30/2009 04:11 PM

Personally, I'd prefer Angus Sheep Froster Thermopyle in it if anyone reads any S. R. Donaldson.

I was an avid fan through junior high & highschool. He's been releasing the 3rd chronicles over the past few years.

Oh leprosy, what have you done for me lately?

Pubah, The Brain that Wouldn't Die 47,449 11
10/30/2009 05:40 PM

Stupid things I've read:
Origin of The Species
Mein Kemph
The Warren Report