Mark Malkoff's Keys to the City Tour, Part 5 A comedy article
by John Hargrave 116,629 19 11/06/2009 02:41 AM 1769 views
Comedian Mark Malkoff has a dream. A silly dream, perhaps, but a dream nonetheless: to get 100 Keys to the City in one month [read our intro here], a feat for which he will be awarded a Key to the City of New York. As we count down the hours, here are the highlights from the past several days.
Milwaukee, WI. Mark's 57th key was awarded by Mayor Tom Barrett, who had him earn his key by doing some vegetable gardening in the town square:
After two full weeks of driving around the country, Mark's exhaustion is becoming apparent in these videos. Although we sympathize with what he's going through, his slurred speech and haggard face somehow make the videos more funny.
West Allis, WI. Mayor Dan Devine wins the award for coolest Mayor: after presenting Mark with a wacky, oversized key, he and Mark then engaged in a giant key fight.
We've heard this is how locksmiths settle disputes: key fights to the death.
In return for the key battle royale, Mark had to clean sewers, one of his most unpleasant chores to date. Aside from, you know, living in a car with a bunch of smelly guys for a month.
We're guessing this didn't help the odor in the car.
Taylor, MI. You have to hand it to Mayor Cameron Priebe for working in his town's tourist attraction. In order to earn his key, Mark had to get decorated as an attraction for "Santa's Magic Forest," their local Christmas wonderland featuring hundreds of animated characters.
They're thinking of keeping him in the display permanently as "Piney, the Christmas Hobo."
Livonia, MI. When Mayor Jack Kirksey asked Mark to disinfect the office, Mark took the job seriously, donning hospital scrubs and a surgical mask to wipe down government employees.
Mark even went the extra mile, and disinfected the disinfectant.
Unfortunately, he forgot to disinfect the key, which was riddled with deadly viruses.
Lebanon, IN. To celebrate Mark's 70th key, he and Mayor Harold "Huck" Lewis ordered 100 burritos to hand out to the residents of Lebanon, who happily gobbled them up.
Probably because they didn't see Mark dumping the burritos into his trunk an hour earlier.
The clock is ticking on Mark's self-imposed deadline of getting 100 Keys to the City in one month. As of this writing, he needs seven more keys. If you know of any mayors, please help by posting below. Yours could be the key to making this whole stunt complete!
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