A.C. with built in Horn of Plenty 6,338 4
11/09/2009 10:32 AM

I see men who stare at goats every day on my way home from work. There's a reason you have to keep them penned up so they don't run off. It's because they have even a tiny bit of common sense.

KChiki's Gravy & Mashed 'Tatoes! 124,281 89
11/09/2009 10:35 AM

Randy, it really looks funny. I want to see it, but unless I get a babysitter for SS, I'll probably have to wait until it comes out on On Demand.

Randall Cleveland 49,000 13
11/09/2009 11:02 AM

Ship the kid out. I'll sit for a night and stamp a RETURN TO SENDER.

KChiki's Gravy & Mashed 'Tatoes! 124,281 89
11/09/2009 01:40 PM

Careful what you wish for. My kid will make you WANT to have kids. He's that good. (I've got my eye on you, Undies.)

Pants 14,213 17
11/09/2009 01:47 PM

My kid will make you WANT to have kids. He's that good.



By "have" do you mean Frost?



"Ain't nothing like pimping.
Now you know.
Mutha Frost-ing Shakespeare god damn Emerson."

Mielke...some thing good to eat! 1,480 5
11/09/2009 05:59 PM

My kids are so wonderful I tell all my friends it's never to early to have the "Surgury".

UnderSpiced Rum 99,723 76
11/09/2009 08:26 PM

I usually hate posting movies I liked here because inevitably someone like Whistler or Undies or Thud or Dogs will start bashing it as juvenile drivel and I have to reconcile my respect for them in a comedy forum with my desire to drive by their house and call them a whore.

Well that actually makes some sort of sense, you know, since Dogs is a whore.

Millie 116,854 28
11/09/2009 08:45 PM

The last movie I saw in a theater was my birthday, last year (so, about a year and a half ago.) Daisypie took me to see Mongal. It was O.K. He said he didn't think it was historically accurate. Pfft. HE was the one who wanted to see it! On MY birthday. Whatever.

Warm Chance Buns. 171,220 14
11/10/2009 07:54 AM

Funny, my son said he wanted to see this movie. I dont really know much about it.

Randall Cleveland 49,000 13
11/10/2009 10:38 AM

How old's your son? I feel like a sharp kid might get this, but a lot of the humor might go over their heads.

Warm Chance Buns. 171,220 14
11/10/2009 01:42 PM

He just turned 9.

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
11/10/2009 04:07 PM

Don't pay any attention to me. I hate everything anyone else likes. It's my hobby.

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
11/10/2009 04:09 PM

Oh! Unless anyone likes Dexter. Four years late, I discovered this show. Do any of you troglodytes, neanderthals and philistines watch it? I'm up to season 2, episode 10. It's wonderful - I laugh and laugh.

Pants 14,213 17 crosses Dexter off of his list.
11/10/2009 04:26 PM

You know Shakespeare ain't hip when the fogies start claiming it.

Taco Crunch: it's got electrolytes 61,959 36
11/10/2009 08:01 PM

This is one of the only movies in my life I've actually seen reviewed as an "f." I still want to see it (maybe even more so) but I can't believe a Geroge Clooney movie is "f" worthy.

In other news Inglorious Basterds is probably at your local dollar theatre now and if you haven't seen it then you suck so go see it.

Dianada 57,119 105
11/10/2009 09:32 PM

George Clooney and Ewan McGregor are definitely f worthy.

Warm Chance Buns. 171,220 14
11/11/2009 06:44 AM

My son is more advanced comedically than half the gabbers here.

Warm Chance Buns. 171,220 14
11/11/2009 06:46 AM

Point proven: I am still #1 this month. How is this possible? I understand Undies or something, but me? Not so much.

A hunk o' burning Ravos 62,361 20
11/11/2009 06:51 AM

Eh, came first last month. That outta say something about this place.

Warm Chance Buns. 171,220 14
11/11/2009 07:10 AM

Oh please, like I'm shocked. I heard you always came first.

KChiki's Gravy & Mashed 'Tatoes! 124,281 89
11/11/2009 08:14 AM

4th!

A hunk o' burning Ravos 62,361 20
11/11/2009 09:04 AM

That was ONE TIME and you just won't let it go!

A Cornucopia of Disco 4,322 8
11/11/2009 09:28 AM

If you get the chance to go see the Fourth Kind, you should just stay home and watch E.T. It's a much more plausible alien flick, it's definitely filmed better (what's with the fake documentary crap), and personally I thought E.T. was more scary*.





* I was four when I saw E.T. so I may have been easily scared.

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
11/11/2009 07:12 PM

Point proven: I am still #1 this month. How is this possible?

You become funniest of the month by posting a bunch, being funny, and being someone most people around here like.

You become funniest of the month a second time by getting a little obsessed with the rankings and working on your stockpile of half-finished articles.

You become funniest of the month for a third time by ignoring your responsibilities at work and scouring the internet for pics and stories to link to.

You become funniest of the month for a fourth time by letting your relationships with friends, relatives and loved ones fall by the wayside in order to spend every spare minute throwing any Shakespeare you can think of up against the comedic wall that is ZuG Live.

You can only become funniest of the month for a fifth consecutive month if you are in a jail or mental institution with wireless internet access. At this point, you no longer get a t-shirt. John pays one of the guys on your cell block/ward to tattoo the crown onto your chest.


Keep up the good work, Chance! You might be joining me and Nurse Ratched and Randall P. MacMurphy soon.

UnderSpiced Rum 99,723 76
11/11/2009 07:44 PM

Point proven: I am still #1 this month. How is this possible? I understand Undies or something, but me? Not so much.

I have been on this site for 4 years, I think. In that entire time, I have never been funniest of the month. However, I did save a bunch of money by switching to Geico.

Warm Chance Buns. 171,220 14
11/12/2009 05:59 AM

Holy shizzles! I've been here 6 years....thanks for reminding me.

A hunk o' burning Ravos 62,361 20
11/12/2009 06:31 AM

So Whistler, how's the tattoo holding up?

KChiki's Gravy & Mashed 'Tatoes! 124,281 89
11/12/2009 07:16 AM

Five years of my life that I'll never get back.

UnderSpiced Rum 99,723 76
11/12/2009 11:39 AM

Oh! It's actually 5 years for me too. In fact, 5 years exactly next week.

KChiki's Gravy & Mashed 'Tatoes! 124,281 89
11/12/2009 11:41 AM

You know the day? I wonder how far apart we joined. WE'RE LIKE TWINS!

KChiki's Gravy & Mashed 'Tatoes! 124,281 89
11/12/2009 11:44 AM

By the way, your first post thread is awesome. (Psst! I read your bio!)

A hunk o' burning Ravos 62,361 20
11/12/2009 12:02 PM

I've been here just over 4 years, but I was pretty much absent for like...1.5-2 of those.

UnderSpiced Rum 99,723 76
11/12/2009 12:05 PM

Kchicka - I know the day I joined, because I made my first post on that day. I was a stupid noob, for sure.

UnderSpiced Rum 99,723 76
11/12/2009 12:07 PM

Oh Shakespeare - I just looked and the day I joined was TOMORROW, the 13th. Wow. I was thinking for sure it was the 17th. Thanks for the reminder.

Pramable Lectern 78,171 40
11/12/2009 12:14 PM

I usually hate posting movies here

You didn't post the movie. Where's the link?

hairy punkin pie gal 12,075 15
11/12/2009 12:56 PM

Whistler P. McManus
11/11/2009 07:12 PM

You can only become funniest of the month for a fifth consecutive month if you are in a jail or mental institution with wireless internet access.
Keep up the good work, Chance! You might be joining me and Nurse Ratched and Randall P. MacMurphy soon.

No joke. I work in a facility that cares for the mentally disabled or infirmed criminal(and the Emersons that want to try to convince the judge that they're insane). It's been a rough, trying, but enlightening 23 years. I have 7 to go to reach the full orgasmic retirement plan that promises me a trailer in the woods, one vacation in teh Disney World, and unlimited hunting, fishing, and beer. The only reason I found you guys is because I got bored and haven't been punched, spit upon, or had a turd thrown at me, etc. since Obama was elected.

I guess all of my wards thought that Obama was a 'brother' and that they would be absolved of their misdeeds and released upon his election.(regardless that half of the police force that arrested them were 'black') The new feeling and emotional undercurrent of my wards is, "How come Obama hasn't saved us?".

My response always is, "Obama chose to better himself and ended up graduating Harvard despite his circumstances. Now he is our President. You chose to be a piece a Shakespeare, now eat your bologna sammich and shaddup!

A hunk o' burning Ravos 62,361 20
11/12/2009 01:22 PM

Well, since search sucks and all, the first post of mine I could find was on 08/08/2005. So yea, I've been here over 4 years now, but I had lost the password to that account a long time ago, so I just made this one.

While searching for my name, google ads came up with these results:
-Taco Lubrication Pumps
-Squirrel Food

...I'll let you think about that.

KChiki's Gravy & Mashed 'Tatoes! 124,281 89 points at Ravos.
11/12/2009 01:38 PM

Oooooooooooooooooooooo! You violated TOS! Ooooooooooooooooooooo!

A hunk o' burning Ravos 62,361 20
11/12/2009 01:40 PM

I also sent Al an e-mail when I realized, which was over a year ago, informing him of the situation and that he could delete the old account since I don't use it.

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
11/13/2009 10:08 PM

Oh! It's actually 5 years for me too.

Bunch of Frost-ing n00bs.

Dogs Akimbo 205,285 31
11/14/2009 12:18 PM

drive by [Dogs'] house and call [him] a whore

Tease.

Pubah In Your Pudding 54,895 17
11/14/2009 12:35 PM

Working in an institution for the criminally insane...Comedy Gold!