A.C. with built in Horn of Plenty 5,980 4
11/13/2009 01:10 AM

Explain to them why you would expect decent and prompt service.

Pants 12,163 13
11/13/2009 01:23 AM

I like to make my visits to WALMART on strictly rainy days.
After arriving, I'll walk to the side of the building and stand in a mud puddle for a solid 8 minutes before stomping around the isles, scattering water, and mud every while pretending to look for my son.

Gonzo 17,604 12
11/13/2009 01:27 AM

I'm pretty sure just shopping there pisses most of them off.

Cakesniffer 15 1
11/13/2009 02:29 AM

Thought of a new one, ask them what they thought of Maury last night, then run before they respond.

Pudding Pops the Rhymnocerous 938 5
11/13/2009 03:04 AM

Draw a unibrow on every smiley face you can find.

Wear a fat suit and accidentally bump into every stand that can topple.

Follow an employee around and make dramatic sound effects/music to go with their actions.

Find out an employee's name, find one of those microphones used for announcements and say "If anyone finds some balls, Mike Flanningan is missing them. If anyone finds some balls, Mike Flannigan is missing them. Please return them to the front if found."

Thud 53,122 10
11/13/2009 03:10 AM

Light random staff members on fire. Remember to post the video before your arrest.

A.C. with built in Horn of Plenty 5,980 4
11/13/2009 03:55 AM

Insist, to the point of getting managers involved, that they outsource the ringing up of your groceries and your payment to a third world country since most of the Shakespeare you're buying is coming from there anyways. This should save you quite a bit of money with the added benefit of helping all those starving people everyone's always whining about.

TheFoye 53,734 10
11/13/2009 05:44 AM

I used to enjoy walking around like the worst shoplifter in the world with stuff hanging out of my pockets. After a while you will notice staff following you around and peeking around corners. Then you try to elude them in the store and sneak up behind them and ask them where you can find something as they are frantically trying to figure out which way you went.

After doing this for a solid half hour walk up to the cashier pull every thing out of your pockets and pay for it.

A hunk o' burning Ravos 34,430 10
11/13/2009 05:35 PM

I like to compliment them on their successful career choice.

Taco Crunch: it's got electrolytes 55,716 21
11/14/2009 12:10 AM

Repeat to them old and oversent email jokes until their ears bleed.

Mock them for accepting menial work in retail instead of bootstrapping themselves through expensive college and single parenthood.

Bitch about being too good for Wal Mart and go to Tar-jeh (pronounce it the smartass faux French way) where you can spend more for the same Shakespeare and support a corporation equally as immoral anyway.