And now the link:
http://www.chabad.org/calendar/view/week.htm

Cyco 'Chuck Fristmas' Ivan 11,330 11
12/07/2009 02:02 PM

Yay, it's Chanukkah. I'll be sure to eat a big ol Bacon on Pulled Pork on Pork Cutlet sammich to commemerate it. I call it the Porkgy.

/cause Goddammit, if lovin' Pork is wrong, I don't wanna be right

Alarm Clock the chubby Snow-bot 6,348 4
12/07/2009 02:11 PM

What's this business I hear about Canadian's and other Un-American people having a Boxing Day the the day after Christmas?

All I can gather is that it's like Thanksgiving part 2 and something to do with the banks. What the hell does that have to do with boxing?

KChiki's Gravy & Mashed 'Tatoes! 128,446 98
12/07/2009 02:14 PM

What the hell does that have to do with boxing?

DUH! The name!

Piquantrax vs. The Elves 972 10
12/07/2009 02:20 PM

As a resident Jew, I'd like to decline your invite to Hannukah. We have a meeting of the Elders of Zion at the center of the Earth Friday morning and I can't guarantee I'll be back by then. I'm sure all you goyim will understand, someone's got to oversee all the world's money.

L'Chaim

Manmeat 478 4
12/07/2009 03:14 PM

I'm half jewish-half black, so its kwanzukkah for me.

Alarm Clock the chubby Snow-bot 6,348 4
12/07/2009 03:25 PM

Holy Crapso! The mythical creature exists!

(reposted from here.)

Little Johnny was confused. His mom was Jewish and his dad was black. He goes up to his mom and asks, "Mom am I more Jewish or more black?"

"I don't know Johnny. Go ask your father." Says his mom.

"Dad, am I more Jewish or more black?" repeats Johnny.

"What the hell kind of question is that?" replies his dad.

"Well, it's like this: Tommy down the road offered to sell me his bike for fifty dollars, and I don't know if I should jew him down to twenty-five bucks or just wait 'til he goes to sleep and steal the Frost-ing thing."

Manmeat 478 4
12/07/2009 03:29 PM

Imagine, how my parent argued whether to circumcise me or not.

Pubah's Copycat Christmas 56,851 18
12/07/2009 05:44 PM

Pruning, you mean

A little dreidel made of PuddingPop 1,379 9
12/07/2009 06:34 PM

Manmeat, that's fantastic! This means you can combine slang and yiddish into gevaldic phrases, dawg!


For instance:


We be up in da shul poppin' bagels and shmear on your toches.

Alarm Clock the chubby Snow-bot 6,348 4
12/07/2009 08:59 PM

He actually has the potential to be an even rarer, scarier, more powerful mythical beast too...

... a black guy with money.

Manmeat 478 4
12/08/2009 04:02 AM

@alarm clock
Oh shum you didn't!

hairy festivus gal 14,803 17
12/08/2009 04:18 AM

Imagine, how my parent argued whether to circumcise me or not.

You only write "parent".

Judging from your statement your mother is a jewess with multiple personalities and your father, obviously, is black.

MungChamp 35,891 35
12/08/2009 07:05 AM

Listen mother-Frosters... stop stealing my shtick!

The real reason we invented Chanukah was to avoid tipping people around Christmas.

Hell, we even give each other gelt, cause we are too cheap to give each other cash on the holidays.


We try and trick the Shiksas, so they think we are giving shiny coins to one another, when in fact, we are giving low grade chocolate laxative.

The real gold coins are safely hidden in a pouch tightly chained around our neck.

Disco Bob 4,322 8
12/08/2009 07:55 AM

The true meaning of Hanukka is that walmart, halmark, and Toy's R Us could not let some non jesus believing heathens escape buying crappy presents at the end of the calendar year. As a result they promoted a second rate holiday. Now non-Jews assume that Hanukka is a major holiday and Jew's tired of listening to their kids whine and cry about Christmas presents finally gave in and started buying crap and acting like this was a major holiday. Essentially the retailers out-jewed the jews.

Cyco 'Chuck Fristmas' Ivan 11,330 11
12/08/2009 11:46 AM

A lot of Jews here huh? Well then....



You better hand it over, or we'll all die from global warming

Manmeat 478 4
12/08/2009 01:44 PM

Okok, here it is *gives a pouch around his neck*

A little dreidel made of PuddingPop 1,379 9
12/09/2009 11:29 AM

The true meaning of Hanukka is that walmart, halmark, and Toy's R Us could not let some non jesus believing heathens escape buying crappy presents

Not surprisingly Ironically Walmart, Halmark, and Toys R Us are run by Jews.

Ravos the red nosed reindeer 63,472 21
12/09/2009 12:02 PM

What's this business I hear about Canadian's and other Un-American people having a Boxing Day the the day after Christmas?

Boxing day is basically Canada's version of Black Friday. We have sales which are not nearly as intense as yours, and instead of trampling wal-mart employees to get our sales, we politely ask them to move out of our way.

Ravos the red nosed reindeer 63,472 21
12/09/2009 12:04 PM

And I'm pretty sure it got the name boxing day, because when Jesus was born, for 48 hours they put him in a box, and if the baby lived, he was truly the messiah.

He later died of the long-term effects of his boxing on the holiday we now know as "Easter".

Lobster Roasting on an Open Fire 18,572 33
12/11/2009 11:52 PM

Ravos is right, NOT!

Happy day #1!

Manmeat 478 4
12/12/2009 03:53 AM

Oh, a not joke, how funny. Did you come up with that joke on yourself? Seriously.

Alarm Clock the chubby Snow-bot 6,348 4
12/12/2009 11:47 AM

Read some of her other posts, and you'll know without a doubt that she came up with it on her own. It wouldn't even surprise me if she actually was the originator of the "not" joke. Oh, wait, I mean...

It would surprise the hell out of me... NOT!

Dogs Akimbo 211,612 32
12/13/2009 11:39 AM

when Jesus was born, for 48 hours they put him in a box

You were almost correct there. See the Wikipedia article on 'Schrdinger's Jesus'.

Dogs Akimbo 211,612 32
12/13/2009 01:08 PM

Which one of you thievin' basterds stle my o umlaut?

Ravos the red nosed reindeer 63,472 21
12/14/2009 07:03 AM

Ravos is right, NOT!

Oh really? Well jeez, the article you linked to seemed to think so...

Canada's Boxing Day has often been compared to the American's Black Friday

Unless of course, you were referring to the jesus in a box reference. In which case, you should make me a sammich.

Lobster Roasting on an Open Fire 18,572 33
12/14/2009 01:22 PM

Jesus in a box.


Jesus is a raisin. Don't you know anything?

Ravos the red nosed reindeer 63,472 21
12/14/2009 01:38 PM

He was only raisin from the dead after he was put in the box.

Shemp the halls, Douchebag. 22,222 17
12/14/2009 03:27 PM

Jesus in a box.


Jesus in a box night at the Coliseum. The first 1,000 fans through the gates will recieve a commemorative Jesus Bobble Head. The last 1,000 fans will be thrown to the lions.

Ravos the red nosed reindeer 63,472 21
12/15/2009 07:13 AM

Wow, he even comes with what appeas to be the killer bunny from Monty Python & the quest for the holy grail. Just like in John 16:3!