How To: Make the Unclickable Desktop
A video
by Jenni Maier  1,467  13
12/10/2009 09:18 AM 2391 views
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Grandparents are now using computers with ease. That means only one thing --they've gotten far too simple. Make things complicated again by creating a fake desktop background on the computer (Microsoft Windows only).
You Will Need:
Someone else's PC Computer
Computer Skillz
Instructions:
1. Open up the internet browser and search for something weird, gross, and/or disturbing.
2. Make sure browser is only taking up about 1/4 of the screen.
3. Press control and print screen at the same time.
4. Close the internet browser.
5. Delete the icons on the desktop.
6. Right click on the empty screen and choose properties.
7. Click on the desktop tab.
8. Click on customize desktop.
9. Uncheck all the desktop options
10. Click okay twice.
11. Right click on the start button and click properties.
12. Click the taskbar tab.
13. Check the autohide taskbar option.
14. Open up Paint.
15. Click paste and the copy of the screen (with icons and browser) from earlier should appear.
16. Save it.
17. Go to file and then click save as background (centered).
18. Close out of paint and your fake background should be up.
Watch your co-worker panic when they can't click on anything that's on their desktop. The worse the browser screen, the more they'll panic. You'll know you did a good job if the internet content will get them in trouble with the boss.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Side-splitting
1 votes
5.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1852557
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Also Recommended on ZUG:
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1852558
Ravos the red nosed reindeer 63,472  21
12/10/2009 09:29 AM
I thought this has been common knowledge for at least 10 years.
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Funny
8 votes
3.3
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Manhole roasting on a closed fire 21,658 29
12/10/2009 09:32 AM
Don't do step 5. Just move them to a folder. It's all a bunch of fun and games until you delete someones porno collection.
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0 votes
0.0
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anonymoos 111 6
12/10/2009 02:25 PM
This is as old as Windows. In Vista you can hide icons:
Right-click the desktop, point to View, and then click Show Desktop Icons to clear the check mark.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1852647
Dogs Akimbo 211,612 32
12/10/2009 08:59 PM
I'll just go up and put somebody's wired mouse down in my pants for a few moments.
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0 votes
0.0
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Reverend Davie gravy Rodriguez 2,413 0
12/10/2009 09:58 PM
I have always been a big fan of resetting the 't' 'h' and 'e' keys to 'f', 'a' and 'g', respectively.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1852669
Gonzo 20,522 17
12/11/2009 06:29 AM
You Will Need:
Someone else's PC Computer
Computer Skillz
h4><><0r5 T001zz,
p0wn4g3
l33t-n3e55
&
n0mz
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1852710
Manmeat 478 4
12/11/2009 12:28 PM
I could have sworn it sayd unlickable,
oh well...
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1852715
Pramable Lectern 80,728 42
12/11/2009 12:51 PM
Hey Jenni, that's kind of an Emerson thing to do.
I wish I had administrative access on the computers at work.
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0 votes
0.0
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Ravos the red nosed reindeer 63,472 21
12/11/2009 01:31 PM
I didn't know 7-11 had computers...
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1852724
Pants 14,252 17
12/11/2009 02:00 PM
I thought Pram worked at the Fashion Bug.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1852737
Ravos the red nosed reindeer 63,472 21
12/11/2009 02:36 PM
That would explain the jitterbuggin'
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1852759
Pramable Lectern 80,728 42
12/11/2009 05:00 PM
I didn't know 7-11 had computers...
Frosters made me sign a statement, uh, statementing that I would not play that one card game, you know, the one that came with Windows 95 with, for whatever reason, a golf-style green fairway background?
(I heard a rumor that Windows 7 has a version of that game in 5 dimensions- but that you need to get your eyes upgraded to see it, and once you do, your eyes become incompatible with previous versions of Windows, the card game, and your eye prescription).
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1852772
Your What?! Hurts? 5,582 10
12/11/2009 10:26 PM
I bet that didn't even make sense in your head, before you typed it out.
Clearly, you're not from this planet.
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0 votes
0.0
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Ali The ITS FUCKING XMAS Legend 844 7
12/12/2009 07:52 AM
Alterntively for step 5, you could just right click -> View -> and uncheck 'show desktop icons'.
And yeah, I think that this actually might be older than the internet.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1852792
Pramable Lectern 80,728 42 gets fabric burns on his knee from slapping it with his hand and hee-haw-ing
12/12/2009 10:05 AM
I thought Pram worked at the Fashion Bug.
Oh, you are a funny one.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1853034
diburning 169 9
12/14/2009 10:50 PM
This is a lot easier and will work on all windows computers:
1. take a screenshot of the desktop.
2. Paste it into Microsoft paint.
3. Save it as a .jpg on the desktop or somewhere you can find it easily.
4. Press CTRL + ALT + DEL
5. Click the Processes tab.
6. End/Kill explorer.exe.
7. Close the Task Manager
Killing explorer.exr will remove all windows functionality including the desktop icon,s start menu, and taskbar. It will not remove the wallpaper, which is now the screenshot of the desktop with all of the icons and the taskbar.
To resume functionality, press CTRL + ALT + DEL again, click File, then click New Task (run), then type in explorer.exe and it will restart the process and the computer will work again.
This is a lot easier than rearranging icons, etc.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1853036
New! Holiday Edition Thud! 68,517 19
12/14/2009 10:54 PM
How about just opening up the mouse and clipping the wires to the button(s)?
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