Every day, for the last 14 months, I've gone to the Dunkin Donuts outside my neighborhood. I have not missed a single day since they opened the store last year. Not. A. Single. Day. (Yes, they were open Christmas, and I Frost-ing went). My order's pretty simple, too. "Large coffee, sugar, please." I throw in the please to be nice, but I've noticed I'm in the minority on this. Note that my order is three, 3, words long, not counting the "please" part.
The main dipShakespeare behind the counter hasn't learned to recognize me, or my order. Every day for the last 3 months, he's replied, "Large coffee, cream and sugar?" And every day for the last 3 months, I've replied, "No, just sugar." Lately, it's probably been more like, "No, JUST sugar." Followed by, "What a dickwipe," once I'm in the parking lot & he can't hear me and retaliate by pissing in my coffee.
On weekends, and select holidays, I also go to the local Starbucks, to pick up my wife's coffeedrink. Her order goes like this: "Grande white chocolate mocha, skim, extra hot, no whip, please." (Those of you paying attention will quickly realize, "Holy Christ, she's high maintenance." You're absolutely correct). Note that her order is nine, 9, words long, again, skipping past the please part, (which isn't quite as rare at Starbucks, for some reason).
Despite the complexity, (in my opinion, anyway), of her order, the ever-changing staff have managed to memorize my order, so I merely need to grunt acknowledgement & gasp out some type of "Thanks, Froster" in reply. ('Cause I don't really care if they piss in her drink - it'd serve her right for ordering such a stupid Frost-ing drink in the first place. White chocolate? WTF? Put that Shakespeare right next to the jumbo shrimp, please.)
So, checking our math, we find that 1/3 of the time I place an order 3 times longer at Starbucks than at Dunkin Donuts. By my calculations, that makes the Dunkin Donuts guy the dumbest dipShakespeare on the planet. And he's mathematically eliminated from a job at McDonalds.
Who's your dumbest regular salesperson?
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WhyMi 3,549  12
12/16/2009 11:20 AM
I think I can explain why "Please" is more commonly heard at the Starbucks thatn the D&D (insert geek joke here)
If your paying $5-$15 per drink, and it includes more than hot water and some sort of dark coloured bean ground, roasted and packaged by some guy called Raul, Abeaze or some other ethnic name.....then with out saying "please" your bound to get a bit more than you expected in your drink.
NOW, seeing that D&D coffee (see previously inserted joke) consists of water (lovingly pulled from the gutter out back), some sort of brown crusty substance (could ALSO be from the gutter out back, or perhaps the homeless guy in the gutter out back) saying "please" doesn't really enhance your chances of getting anything better (or worse).
That being said, I'm switching back to Tea.
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