Christmas Traditions
A comedy article
by hairy festivus gal  14,803  17
12/21/2009 05:15 AM 384 views
|
|
(If you did not like my Thanksgiving article, you will probably want to skip this)
Before Grandpa died it was a tradition in my family to all gather at his house for Christmas Eve. We would have a big meal and for dessert a nice birthday cake honoring Jesus. The youngest children in the house had the privilege of blowing out the candle. And yes, we sang Happy Birthday Baby Jesus.
One year my Uncle Paul suggested that the adults tell a story about their most memorable Christmas.
The stories that were told ranged from heartwarming and sentimental to ridiculously hilarious. And then it was Grandma's turn.
Grandma remembered that when she was about 4 or 5 years old her mother was pregnant and went into labor on Christmas Eve. She reminded us that they were still living in North Dakota and the winters were bitter cold. She went on to describe the excitement in the house with the midwives bustling around in preparation for the event and Father pacing the floor. As the hours went by she grew tired and fell asleep, dreaming about the new baby sister or brother that Santa would bring.
And then she stopped.
By now the whole family is sitting on the edge of our seats and we begin to beg her to finish the story. Was it a boy or girl?
"Oh!" Grandma laughed, "It really doesn't matter. The child was dead!"
Merry Christmas!
|
|
|
Like This? Rate It!
|
|
Funny
14 votes
3.9
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054130224
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054130245
Ghost of Chickens Past 286,634  61
12/21/2009 09:33 AM
So now you kill a small child every year as a tradition?
|
| |
|
|
|
Hilarious
3 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054130249
hairy festivus gal 14,803 17
12/21/2009 10:09 AM
It's not for sport, only for food and the hide.
|
| |
|
|
|
Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054130250
Your What?! Hurts? 5,582 10
12/21/2009 10:13 AM
... Grandma laughed ...
Was it that maniacal, creepy kind of laugh, like the witch in Hansel & Gretel, before she baked the chubby kids in the oven?
'Cause I wouldn't go to grandma's house anymore, if that's the kind of laugh she has.
|
|
|
|
Store