Ghost of Chickens Past 286,634 61
12/21/2009 09:32 AM

People react to ostracism in different ways.

Then your whole life has been practice for your new career.

Pramable Lectern 80,728 42
12/21/2009 09:36 AM

I'm not sure how to take that, so I will take it well.

Thank you, Chix!

hairy festivus gal 14,803 17
12/21/2009 10:07 AM

*the antichrist appears and starts performing excruciating fellatio on all who are present*


This must be why my mom likes teh Jesus. Unlike the anti-christ, Jesus does the yard, the pool, and teh cunnilingus.

Brad Poynter 36,184 48
12/21/2009 10:30 AM

Don't let the cool kids stop you. First you have to figure out if you are doing your thing because you love it or if it is just an end to a means. If you love it then screw what anyone else thinks, keep going, and eventually it will work out. If it's just an end to means then think up some thing different to do or put a new spin on it, like stop motion knitting.

Besides the people are pissed at you because you said something stupid, not because of your work. Back when I was bass player I said stupid stuff that pissed people off all the time but they never got rid of me because of my skills. Well until that last time... but anyway don't let the fact that you have lost all credibility with your peers stop you. If they really are your peers then they are just a bunch of dumbasses, just like everyone else.

Find what you love to do and have fun doing it. Everything else will eventually fall in line once you have yourself squared away. Having read your lady troubles, I would suggest taking all that pent up sexual frustration and focus it on being creative. Every masterpiece level artwork ever made exists today because someone wasn't getting any. Hell you might even be one of the lucky ones that gets groupies.

Aren't you glad I am off work for a week?

Pramable Lectern 80,728 42
12/21/2009 10:47 AM

*considers the irony of this statement, but says it anyway*

or put a new spin on it, like stop motion knitting.

But that would take forever!

Ravos the red nosed reindeer 63,472 21
12/21/2009 11:06 AM

Pram doing stand-up? That's Prammed up.

Sarah, no longer MIA 30,601 8
12/21/2009 11:13 AM

Why don't you just call up Gumby and tell him you're sorry?

Pramable Lectern 80,728 42
12/21/2009 12:15 PM

Because his number is enlisted and I don't have it.

I did email him, though.

Pramable Lectern 80,728 42
12/21/2009 12:16 PM

The problem with stop motion, is that if you want Gumby to read something, you can only have him doing that for 2 to 4 seconds per day. The email I wrote him takes about 3 minutes to read, so he'll be at it for a few months.

cakes and ale 2,404 6
12/21/2009 12:31 PM

Make sure you thank his number for his service to our country.

Sarah, no longer MIA 30,601 8
12/21/2009 12:38 PM

Because his number is enlisted and I don't have it.

Wow, the Army must be really low in human enrollment.

Pramable Lectern 80,728 42
12/21/2009 01:21 PM

BLOOOOOOW MEEEEEEE

Straw la la la la la la la la 98,023 37 jumps on the bandwagon.
12/21/2009 01:26 PM

My number is in officer training.

Shemp the halls, Douchebag. 22,222 17
12/21/2009 04:40 PM

Oh yeah?

Well my number is already an officer...and a gentlemen.

Shemp the halls, Douchebag. 22,222 17
12/21/2009 04:42 PM

I'm going to do stand-up comedy.



Oh please have a friend in the audience record it, then you can post it here.

Pramable Lectern 80,728 42
12/21/2009 04:55 PM

I would, but

1. I don't have any friends

and

2. The bum I handed the camcorder would shake too much with laughter to get more than blurry Bigfoot-style footage of me performing.

Shemp the halls, Douchebag. 22,222 17
12/21/2009 05:18 PM

Like the Patterson Film. But instead of a Sasquatch walking through a dry river bed, It's Pram on stage at Yuk-Yuk's or The Funny Bone. The Pramerson Film.

Pramable Lectern 80,728 42
12/21/2009 05:28 PM

Shemp, you are a son of a bitch.

Pants 14,252 17 hands Pram a tripod.
12/21/2009 05:29 PM

Here you are clever boy.

The Mailman 176,467 56
12/21/2009 05:29 PM

I have worked for 14 years in retail, hoping to one day break into the world of stop motion animation.

Do what everybody else in the same situation does: stay in retail.

Pramable Lectern 80,728 42 bashes Pants over the head with the tripod as though he's a director or something
12/21/2009 05:32 PM

I want a Steadicam!

Shemp the halls, Douchebag. 22,222 17
12/21/2009 05:55 PM

Shemp, you are a son of a bitch.


Hey man, I'd go see your show. I'd even laugh out loud a couple of times.

Pants 14,252 17 sticks one of the tripod legs in his ass and then shoves it in Pram's mouth.
12/21/2009 05:56 PM

Guess what I ate last night.

Pramable Lectern 80,728 42 smacks his lips, trying to put his finger on the flavor
12/21/2009 06:05 PM

Mothballs?

Shemp the halls, Douchebag. 22,222 17
12/21/2009 06:31 PM

Do what everybody else in the same situation does: stay in retail.



Or you can become a lonely alcoholic. Bitterness is your only companion. Soon alcohol leads to cocaine, cocaine leads to meth. You start stealing from work to pay for your habit. One day the boss catches you, calls the cops. Spending the night in jail, you are charged with pety theft, a court date is set for 2 months down the road.

During this time you first pawn your keyboard, then your amp, eletric guitar, and finally your accoustic guitar. Soon you have no money at all. You even hocked your favorite comics. Rent is due, you are kicked out. Now you are a homeless meth-head. You try to live with your parents for a while, but after you steal you dad's, vintage WWII Japanese penis stretcher (to pawn of course, I didnt mean you needed a penis stretcher... maybe you do, I dunno). Your parents kick you out. On the way out you keep yelling, "Thats all right mom and dad, I just go live under a tree out in the woods."

Actually thats what happens, you live in a tent in the woods, 400 yards off the main road (Close to the pawn shop, liquor store, and Waffle House). But for a tent in the woods it is quite nice. First its a big tent, the size that can hold ten people. And you have not one, but two full sized sofa's you found who knows where. There is a kerosene space heater, a school desk, and a card table with 3 missmatched chairs. Plus a nice votive candle on the card table. You even have a welcome mat at your door flap.

Eventually you meet some fat desperate chick with 4 kids, who falls in love with you and takes you in. You, with help from the power of love, get off meth. Take some adult night classes, get your degree from Devry. And soon you find your self the manager of a 7/11.


Oh...

Rated X-Mas Jeeni 47,809 51
12/21/2009 07:17 PM

A banana didn't give me a chance to do a job I knew I could do and didn't give me the measly 3% raise per year that everyone else in the company got. You know what I did, I gave my notice & followed my dream.

It was scary at times, but now I thank them for speaking badly of me. It fired me up & helped me get my act together. If that banana hadn't been a catalyst, I may still have been inspecting packing peanuts today.

Follow your dream ~ best wishes to you, Pram!

New! Holiday Edition Thud! 68,517 19
12/21/2009 07:28 PM

I'd like to recommend Shemp's bitter alcoholic idea.










I'd like to, but I won't. Kill the people you offended. Leave no traces of your social Frost up.

Pramable Lectern 80,728 42
12/21/2009 07:39 PM

Got an email from a source in Hollywood. All is well; the guy I offended apparently died from autoerot- I refuse to speak badly of him. After all, I was the jerkface. It's all gravy at that studio, though. I think they knew who I am more than they would if I just been boring and didn't color outside of the lines.

And soon you find your self the manager of a 7/11.

But I don't to be a manager of a 7/11!

Pramable Lectern 80,728 42
12/21/2009 07:41 PM

if I just been boring

and done been a redneck.

WhyMi 3,549 12 not reading more than the title and author
12/21/2009 07:50 PM

Someone finally offed Pram? And they got the MURDER RAP?!!

it's a mercy killing at LEAST!

Pramable Lectern 80,728 42
12/21/2009 08:44 PM

Murder Rap.

[Legs Diamond]
Legs Diamond in the house
And we sendin clown love out to Above the Law

[Violent J]
When I sit there and right this Shakespeare for the mic I hold
I make sure my beats are loud, and bold, and cold
Violent J is the name that I go by
Wakin up with blood on my hands and I don't know why
You mother-Frosters tryin to get in my path
Don't be surprised when you get a shotgun up your ass
Instigators, I got one for that ass too
I'm gonna hang you from a street light, mangled and blue (eww)
You on my Shakespeare like a fiend coke
But if you say the wrong thing i'll put a slit in your throat
So, it's not the answer, no, i'm not a dancer, no
I'm not a hero, a zero , but I call myself a juggalo
And this is not a demo
ICP, Above The Law, we let it GO

[(Chorus) 2x]
Fantasizing, dramatizing, re-enacting MURDER MURDER

[/Murder Rap]

Pramable Lectern 80,728 42
12/21/2009 08:45 PM

And this is not a demo

Yes it is.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
12/22/2009 12:01 AM

Pram, I love you in a totally semi-gay way, so don't take this the wrong way, but I hope you're better at stand-up comedy than you are at sit-down-at-the-keyboard-and-type comedy.

Ravos the red nosed reindeer 63,472 21
12/22/2009 09:00 AM

But I don't to be a manager of a 7/11!

I don't to be either!

Chit 178,781 15
12/22/2009 09:57 AM

I really just logged on here to click Whistler's last post, but I'm sincerely happy that everything finally all worked out for you Pram.
That was a wicked 10-12 hours of being banished by your entire industry.


Hey...remember that other time that you overreacted about that thing on here?

Yea...that was awesome!

Pramable Lectern 80,728 42
12/22/2009 12:22 PM

Which one? I overreact about everything! (Don't check for no spoofs, this is the Real Ghostbusters. I mean, Pram Maven.