2010 - A Cyco Odyssey 11,330 11
01/19/2010 02:35 PM

Maybe you should go on the bean and cabbage diet. Then just fart on anyone who gets close. It's short and simple and gets the point across.

The other non-disgusting thing to do would be to place all your items in the front of the cart and then load the checkout line while standing in front of the cart.

Brad Poynter 36,184 48
01/19/2010 02:35 PM

Is it mostly tall guys when you wear a low cut blouse?

God I love being tall. Low cut blouses are like god's reward for always having get anything off the top shelf.

Randall Cleveland 49,019 14
01/19/2010 03:41 PM

I didn't even read this thread, but GOD I bet you smell good.

KChikita Banana 128,446 98 sniffs Millie.
01/19/2010 04:11 PM

Mmmm...

KChikita Banana 128,446 98
01/19/2010 04:12 PM

Wow, that looked a lot less creepy before I hit "Submit". Maybe I need to get my brain tuned.

Ravos iz in ur dreemz 63,472 21
01/19/2010 04:15 PM

I bet Millie smells like freshly baked cookies.

Your What?! Hurts? 5,582 10
01/19/2010 04:47 PM

Well I couldn't really say without giving you the sniff test. Give me your address & I'll send you a plane ticket. email in profile.

Pramable Lectern 80,728 42
01/19/2010 04:59 PM

A friend of mine almost got into a fistfight in Wal-Mart because of this phenomenon. He wheeled around and said, "Back the Frost off!" It was some old lady. His wife got mad at him.

So he almost fought his wife?

Ravos iz in ur dreemz 63,472 21
01/19/2010 05:04 PM

So he almost fought his wife?

She refused to make him a sammich.

Ravos iz in ur dreemz 63,472 21
01/19/2010 05:14 PM

I bet Millie smells like freshly baked cookies.

Just like Grandma!

The Write Straw 98,023 37
01/19/2010 05:39 PM

If it's a woman standing too close behind, just turn to face them and smile. They'll back off because they are afraid that if your boobs touch it means they are gay.

If it's a man standing too close behind, turn to them and ask in a really deep voice if they think the [insert football team name here] will [insert something so complex about football that they will be convinced you are a man].

Analog 9,608 19
01/19/2010 05:47 PM

Here you go, have someone follow this simple tutorial for you and apply it to the back of your neck.

Creat a Laceration

Then go out in public and stand in line, I bet people will stay away.

Man of Men 177 7
01/19/2010 08:41 PM

Straw: both of your examples are found to be flawed when either antagonist is gay.

Man of Men 177 7
01/19/2010 08:43 PM

I mean fagot. That's how it goes here, I think.

Pramable Lectern 80,728 42
01/19/2010 11:25 PM

She refused to make him a sammich.

That's against the law!

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
01/19/2010 11:58 PM

I mean fagot. That's how it goes here, I think.


That's not how it goes here.





















We're better spellers than that.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
01/20/2010 12:20 AM

Do I smell really good or something?

Crack a window once in a while and I'd be able to tell you.

TopHatSnake 3,464 10
01/20/2010 02:03 AM

^^ that one took me a second. my thought process went "what the Frost, does he live near millie or, oh. ooh. ooooh." I chuckled, so thats what you got.

cakes and ale 2,404 6
01/20/2010 02:25 AM

This happens to me everyday. There appears to be plenty of room but people insist on standing or sitting as close as possible.

An electrician was doing some work for me the past few days. He had a habit of sneaking up on me and I never noticed him until he was behind me and whispering questions into my ear. He was asking innocuous work related questions but I couldn't figure out why he felt compelled to approach me that way.

When he wasn't sneaking up on me, he was bending down so that his face was eye level with mine and almost nose to nose. (He must have been 6'4" and I am 5'2") The final straw was when he needed me to move out of the way. I had no idea he was anywhere near me until I felt his breath on my neck and he whispered, "Excuse me, little one." How Frost-ing creepy is that?

Shempxistential Blues 22,222 17
01/20/2010 03:07 AM

If these people were all male, I'd say they were standing so close so they could rub thier weenie against your butt.

Which you should take as a complement the next time I do it.

Ravos iz in ur dreemz 63,472 21
01/20/2010 09:37 AM

I had no idea he was anywhere near me until I felt his breath on my neck and he whispered, "Excuse me, little one." How Frost-ing creepy is that?

That's pretty creepy, I gotsta say.

dasypygal-unwaxed 14,803 17
01/20/2010 09:48 AM

Stop wearing that filthy T-shirt, DUH!

KChikita Banana 128,446 98
01/20/2010 10:33 AM

The final straw was when he needed me to move out of the way. I had no idea he was anywhere near me until I felt his breath on my neck and he whispered, "Excuse me, little one." How Frost-ing creepy is that?

That gives me the shivers just reading it! I probably would have uttered a shriek if I had been on the receiving end of that exchange.

Your What?! Hurts? 5,582 10
01/20/2010 10:55 AM

Coincidentally, I've had a lot of women shriek after being on the receiving end of an ... ahem, exchange.

Usually it goes like, "What the Frost do you mean, you're done?!?!?"

Your What?! Hurts? 5,582 10
01/20/2010 11:20 AM

Hey Millie? Does this guy look familiar?

Brad Poynter 36,184 48
01/20/2010 11:24 AM

It has been said many times in many ways.

You have to; lick it before you stick it, suck it before you Frost it, tongue her before you bung her, stroke it before you poke it, rock the liitle man in the little boat so the ocean is ready for your ship to float.

If you do it right she won't care how quick you are.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
01/20/2010 11:56 AM

It has been said many times in many ways.

I always thought the next line in that song was "Merry Christmas to you," but I see now that I was mistaken.

Your What?! Hurts? 5,582 10
01/20/2010 12:36 PM

If you do it right she won't care how quick you are.


Back up one step. Why would I care? I was DONE! WTF is wrong with you? You go cuddle in the wet spot. I'm catching some zzzz's.

dasypygal-unwaxed 14,803 17
01/20/2010 12:49 PM

You have to; lick it before you stick it, suck it before you Frost it, tongue her before you bung her, stroke it before you poke it, rock the liitle man in the little boat so the ocean is ready for your ship to float.




Would you please be so kind as to publish a manual for the other ingrates?

helloooo nurse 379 8
01/20/2010 01:19 PM

He had a habit of sneaking up on me and I never noticed him until he was behind me and whispering questions into my ear.

Cakes, Have you had your hearing checked lately?

cakes and ale 2,404 6
01/20/2010 02:33 PM

It's not my hearing. I think that he had perfected the Betty Rubble walk because his feet never made any noise on the ground. Either that or my whiskers weren't working.

Lobstermatronic 18,572 33
01/20/2010 02:40 PM

In answer to your question, Millie, yes. Weirdos are attracted to the smell of bitterness, sarcasm, and an expired biological clock.

El Weirdo 98,023 37 stands closely behind Lobster and inhales deeply.
01/20/2010 02:47 PM

Hmmm....

Bitterness? Check!

Sarcasm? Check!

Expired biological clock? Gah! She's still breeding! Abortabortabort!

KChikita Banana 128,446 98
01/20/2010 02:47 PM

Weirdos are attracted to the smell of bitterness, sarcasm, and an expired biological clock.

Wow, you must have to beat them off with a stick, Lobster.

KChikita Banana 128,446 98
01/20/2010 02:48 PM

Dammit, Straw!

cakes and ale 2,404 6
01/20/2010 02:49 PM

Millie's not here right now, Lobster. Maybe you can catch her at her locker after detention study hall and tell her then.

Lobstermatronic 18,572 33
01/20/2010 03:00 PM

It's no secret why I am upset at her.

But on a lighter note, I'm on my period, so I'm ridiculously grumpy today.

The munchkin gets her 6-month shots today, though. So that kind of sucks. I usually cry more than she does.

KChikita Banana 128,446 98
01/20/2010 03:05 PM

Zug has a strict policy about not bitching about being on your period unless you make it funny. Half of us have to deal with them as well (and do so quietly), 49% like to pretend those little rolls of toilet paper in the garbage are JUST TOILET PAPER, and the remaining 1% already have enough material for their "redwings" fantasies.

Lobstermatronic 18,572 33
01/20/2010 03:09 PM

Eww.

Filly 39,193 20
01/20/2010 03:20 PM

It's no secret why I am upset at her.

I'm just going to throw this out there. Lobster, no one gives a Frost if you like millie or not. We really don't care. Millie doesn't care. It's actually more annoying since you bring it up all the time. The figments of your imagination do no one any good unless they are entertaining, which yours have failed to be.

Now shut the Frost up and make with some funny, dammit. And no, imping everyone on the board doesn't count as funny either.

Ravos iz in ur dreemz 63,472 21 sheds a tear
01/20/2010 03:32 PM

Filly, that was...beautiful.

WhyMi 3,549 12 Holds up an onion and bar of chocolate
01/20/2010 04:05 PM

Can you smell the chocolate? Can you smell the onion?

If YES:
Damn, you DO smell good.

If NO:

Lucky you.


Your welcome.

Fratberry 283,051 53
01/20/2010 05:21 PM

Filly, you are the man.

Fratberry 283,051 53
01/20/2010 05:22 PM

What? Whadisay?

Filly 39,193 20
01/20/2010 05:28 PM

I am so not a man.

Courtesy of Mailman. The picture, not the not being a man bit.

WhyMi 3,549 12
01/20/2010 05:49 PM

some could argue that with the propper (or impropper) aim of that machine one could quickly change genders.

Dropkick Brody 43,090 12
01/20/2010 06:10 PM

Yeah, Millie, you probably do smell really good. Put your cart inbetween you and the perv next time. That way he's at a distance, and you can ram the Frost out of him if he starts closing in on your space.

WhyMi 3,549 12
01/20/2010 06:15 PM

and by "cart" ,Brody, perhaps you are refering tothis, this or this?

Dropkick Brody 43,090 12
01/20/2010 06:21 PM

Haha, the last one for sure. Every girl needs an olde time spear up her sleeve.

WhyMi 3,549 12
01/20/2010 06:28 PM

methinks some GABbette's would have it up something besides a sleeve....

Millie 116,988 28
01/20/2010 07:32 PM

But it isn't weirdos and pervs. As I said, it's all types of people. The person yesteday was an old lady. And I was holding a hand-basket so there isn't much I can do to put distance between us.

Maybe I just have super strong pheromones.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
01/20/2010 07:48 PM

Filly has schooled Lobster in this thread on so many levels that I'm hereby making her an honorary associate professor of smackdown at Whistler University.

We have better coffee in the faculty lounge than they have out there in the cafeteria, Filly. Stop in any time.

Nachos 57,521 23
01/20/2010 08:01 PM

Filly has schooled Lobster in this thread on so many levels that I'm hereby making her an honorary associate professor of smackdown at Whistler University.

We have better coffee in the faculty lounge than they have out there in the cafeteria, Filly. Stop in any time.

I'm sorry, but it's not a smackdown until someone goes home and commits suicide.

Man of Men 177 7
01/20/2010 08:34 PM

That's not how it goes here.
We're better spellers than that.

Faggot.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
01/20/2010 08:44 PM

From your lips to God's ears, Nachos.

Nachos 57,521 23
01/21/2010 06:57 AM

Same as it's ever been Whistler, same as it's ever been.

Incidentally there's a few of you that might want to hide your first-borns. Just giving you a heads up.

Ravos iz in ur dreemz 63,472 21
01/21/2010 12:06 PM

Same as it's ever been in town Whistler, same as it's ever been in town.

Lobstermatronic 18,572 33
01/21/2010 05:03 PM

It's only schooling if I pay attention, Whistler.

I remember something about chocolate. Other than that, nothing.

Dogs Akimbo 211,612 32
01/23/2010 09:26 AM

As I said, it's all types of people. The person yesteday was an old lady.

Damnit. My odds get worse and worse every day.

Shempxistential Blues 22,222 17
01/23/2010 09:39 AM

OK, I wasnt going to ask but, why Lobstah not like Millie?

Millie seems like a nice old lady.

You know what. Forget the why. I dont care.

How about this, I supply the kiddie pool and Jello and you two can wrastle out your differences.

No holds barred, 2 out of 3 falls, winner takes it all.

It could be the Zug Live event of the year.

Filly 39,193 20
01/23/2010 10:33 AM

It's only schooling if I pay attention, Whistler.

By that same logic, it's only funny if people laugh.

Lobster fail.