My new Job!
A comedy conversation
by Bill the Squirrel 25,508 8 02/08/2010 01:04 PM 81 views
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Well, I started my new job today. I am confused though. What is this strange feeling I get when these people say stuff like, "Glad you are here." and "Wow, you are doing a great job!"?
I also don't know how to react when these people ask stuff I've never had to answer before like, "How was your weekend." and "What are you doing for lunch. Do you want to go with us?"?
They must all be serial killers or something. Should I ask them how "they" dispose of their dead hookers?
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
11 votes
4.0
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
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Ravos: Accidental Ganesh 34,368 10
02/08/2010 01:07 PM
Bill, is your new job as a pressure washer valet?
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
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Cyco Ivan 9,047 6
02/08/2010 01:12 PM
Don't worry, that new employee smell will wear off soon and you be just another worthless gear in the machine that no one will want to talk to.
I'm actually a little offended that you'd ask your coworkers and not us about where to hide dead hookers. I could have some places, but did you ever ask? NOOOOOO!
For the record, I hide mine at a local tuna cannery. The tuna covers both the fishy smell of the hooker and the rancid smell of decay.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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High Priestess sayth: GEAUX SAINTS! 48,959 13
02/08/2010 01:18 PM
First you need a good lime pit. Depends on how many hookers you have to dispose of, but a 10x10x10 foot is a good place to start. As we all know the lime is very important, to contain the smell and help with the decomp. Now if you're the type of fellow that likes to revisit his whores after the kill, you're on your own you sick Frost. Hopeful you've chosen a lair where you have a basement, utility sink and industrial drain. If you don't, a shower works just fine. Tie the dead (or alive) hooker up by her ankles over the drain or in the shower. Now, make deep cuts to the major arteries and veins. Femoral, carotid and subclavian are the major ones. Now let the bitch bleed out. Continualy rinse the slagathor down and make sure all the gunky hooker bits get down the drain. Next using your preferred sharp edged utentsil of dismemberment, cut the bitch up. Lay in lime pit and wait for your next target! Happy hunting and remember all that you learned from CSI and Dexter, Bleach is your best friend for distroying blood evidence; and if you leave one hair behind you're Frosted, you should just turn yourself in.
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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Big Irish Guy 175,998 10
02/08/2010 01:23 PM
Just dump the bodies at Hargrave's house. That's what I do. The plus, Jade will give you iced tea.
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.0
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Cyco Ivan 9,047 6
02/08/2010 01:24 PM
So what you're saying is that in order to learn how to hide dead hookers properly, I have to watch CBS? I think I'd rather flay myself open and bury myself in a lime pit then.
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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High Priestess sayth: GEAUX SAINTS! 48,959 13
02/08/2010 01:26 PM
I have to watch CBS?
No, 85% of Spike's programing is CSI reruns. The of 25% is grown men Frost-ing each other in a octagon.
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Funny
11 votes
3.5
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The Mailman 130,723 14
02/08/2010 02:37 PM
When someone asks you, "are you the new guy?", reply "I don't know, I just got here."
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0 votes
0.0
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helloooo nurse 323 6
02/08/2010 05:36 PM
Apparently, the dial on SpikeTV goes to 11............
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0 votes
0.0
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Fratberry 219,200 13
02/08/2010 06:46 PM
When someone asks you, "are you the new guy?", reply "I don't know, I just got here." "Well I was in the bathroom about an hour ago so I already have a new boyfriend so I'm going to answer 'NO'."
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0 votes
0.0
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Fratberry 219,200 13
02/08/2010 06:47 PM
If they laugh, you'll know you're in the right place. If they nod knowingly, run like hell.
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.8
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Whistler P. McManus 141,438 23
02/08/2010 06:56 PM
No, 85% of Spike's programing is CSI reruns. The of 25% is grown men Frost-ing each other in a octagon.
I have no idea what the second half of that sentence means except that HP's math is as good as her spelling/grammar.
Thank God for that rack.
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0 votes
0.0
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dinesh 21,845 14
02/08/2010 06:58 PM
when someone asks you "are you the new guy?"...
you say YES!
/gb
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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Octopus Carrying Dinosaur 1,015 10
02/08/2010 07:08 PM
The REALLY sad part is that four Livers posted on here before Whistler finally caught the percentage SNAFU.
And HP is referring to UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship), an MMA (mixed martial arts) league, which is played on Spike ad nauseum--and which, sadly, she accurately describes. Here's basically how MMA works.
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0 votes
0.0
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High Priestess sayth: GEAUX SAINTS! 48,959 13
02/08/2010 07:20 PM
I have no idea what the second half of that sentence means except that HP's math is as good as her spelling/grammar.
mother-Frosting Math!That was an intentional error to show the stupidity of Spike's programming.
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
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High Priestess sayth: GEAUX SAINTS! 48,959 13
02/08/2010 07:29 PM
Also, what the hell? I give you people an easy step by step instruction manual to help you get rid of your dead hookers and not one orb? To good for my advice, is that it? Let me tell you something sonny, I've killed more hookers that you've been alive, so you'll take my advice and be happy damnit!
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Octopus Carrying Dinosaur 1,015 10
02/08/2010 08:24 PM
HP--you're Frost-ing crazy.
EVERYONE knows muriatic acid is more effective to get rid of forensic evidence.
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