Ambassador With Porn Star Name Appointed, Dick Hertz Rejoices

Ambassador With Porn Star Name Appointed, Dick Hertz Rejoices
A funny link by Johnny Plankton

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02/17/2010 12:52 AM 1753 views

Who says grade school pranks aren't funny? I'll tell you who: The National Review, Atlantic, Foreign Policy magazine, and the Jerusalem Post for starters. While fans of Harry Balls, Dick Hertz, and Heywood Jablowme giggled like nitrous oxide freaks, editors the world over hung their collective heads in shame.

Those publications, as well as a plethora (whole bunch) of other newspapers, magazines and TV outlets ran the Arab Times story stating that Saudi Arabia had blocked the appointment of Pakistani Akbar Zeb to an ambassadorship to their country because his name roughly translates to "Biggest Dick" in Arabic. (The entire story was later found to be a prank.)

Akbar "Biggest Dick" Zeb poses with Ghana's Prime Minister, Ima Slut

This is roughly the equivalent of a guy named Bob Smith being appointed to a post in say, Putzelvania. The name "Bob Smith" may sound perfectly fine to us English-speaking folks, at least until we find out that it translates to "Rockhart Boner" in Putzelvanian.

"One can only assume that submitting Zeb's name to a number of Arabic-speaking countries is some unique form of punishment designed by the Pakistani Foreign Ministry," wrote David Kenner of Foreign Policy magazine, who then added, non-ironically, "Or the result of a particularly egregious Coleridge-up." (Coleridge-up apparently means F-up.)

The guys from Monty Python predicted this very scenario nearly 30 years ago, with their hilarious "Biggus Dickus" routine in the 1979 film, Life of Brian:

What's doubly funny is that Mr. Dick is actually a career distinguished Pakistani diplomat and is currently an ambassador to the world capital of Funny: Canada, a country that so reveres good comedy that Carrot Top, Gallagher, and all members of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour have lifetime passport bans.

Perhaps the Canadian government is trying to cheer up its Arabic speaking population, what with the backlash from all the recent terrorist activity. Who wouldn't smile being introduced to "His Excellency - Biggest Dick."