Brad Poynter 35,418 48
02/19/2010 02:16 AM

I am waiting to hear that your new job is actually a front for a radical Islamic terrorist group and that you are posting from a secret CIA torture camp.

Given your track record that seems highly probable.

Cyco Ivan 11,324 11
02/19/2010 02:16 AM

Frost! Does this no longer mean we can use you as the bar to judge how badly our own lives are? Who do we use now? Lobster? Frost that Shakespeare (like her stepdad)

The Write Straw 95,470 36
02/19/2010 02:19 AM

Well I would think that hooker blood is easy to get out - it's already broken down by chemicals.

Bill the Squirrel 53,130 53
02/19/2010 02:23 AM

I am waiting to hear that your new job is actually a front for a radical Islamic terrorist group and that you are posting from a secret CIA torture camp.

Given your track record that seems highly probable.


Yeah, and with my luck, I'd get the 40 virgins but they would all look like this:

Bill the Squirrel 53,130 53
02/19/2010 04:57 AM

This thread is proof that I cannot be funny without some sort of tragedy(either mine or others).





Hey Lobster, what's up?

Rock Lobster. Just Rock Lobster. 17,427 30
02/25/2010 06:47 AM

Aww, you missed me! I knew you were in love with me!

I'm great. I've dropped two pants sizes in two weeks by- check this out- taking vitamins every day. Go freaking figure that that Shakespeare was good for you. So now, I'm less chubby than I was last week, and hopefully I'll be back to swimsuit size by May. I wanna go on vacation this summer, and it ain't happening while I'm still carrying around this extra 30 lbs of weight I shouldn't have gained while pregnant but did anyway because I insisted on eating Chinese food and/or Mexican food at least twice a week and had to have chocolate everyday baby fat. I'm chipper as a songbird today!

Did I mention that Lobster Jr is trying to walk already? She's been pulling herself up to stand for about 3 weeks, and now she'll hold on to stuff and shuffle her feet around. 8 months old and trying to destroy me already. I'm so proud of her!

So how are you?

KChiki - Wee boobs are still boobs 124,281 89
02/25/2010 06:58 AM

Aww, Bill. I forgot your life doesn't suck. Sorry I yelled at you in the other thread!

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
02/25/2010 07:18 AM

Lobster, you could lose all the weight, get a good hairdo and professional makeup done and buy some great outfits and even look terrific in a swimsuit, but you'd still be an annoying, unfunny lamebrain, so why bother?

MungChamp 35,886 35
02/25/2010 07:43 AM

Lobster didn't go anywhere. She just called herself Future Druggist for the week and posted pictures in plaid.

Baby is doing fine though.


You might also be interested to know Jenni Maier grew a penis and is a tranny stripper namedDave Goldberg???

Future Druggist 2,530 10
02/25/2010 07:53 AM

ummm no.

Anh Onymous 11,108 14
02/25/2010 08:12 AM

Stop pretending, Bill. We all know your life is an endless hole of suck, and your carefully worded stories don't make up for it. Let's do a little bit of reading between the lines:

"I have a great job, with great pay, the bosses like me(or at least act like it)"

Translation: You get paid to blow guys behind the 7-11 when you would gladly do it for free. Your pimp is professional enough to fake it so he doesn't hurt your feelings.

"I quit drinking and actually have money left over when I get my next paycheck"

Translation: Your beer belly finally got too big, which the welfare department mistook for being too well fed. You kicked the habit, lost some weight, and now the checks keep coming.

"I got the blood out of my white shirt"

Translation: Your ex-wife beat the crap out of you for sneaking into the house to steal foodstuffs and toilet paper. You covered up the blood by using said white shirt to wipe.

"Plus, I live in San Diego, California. So, while it's snowing in other parts of the country, it's 70 degrees here."

You live alone in a state with one of the highest unemployment rates in the nation and probably can't afford air conditioning.

Filly 39,160 20
02/25/2010 08:22 AM

Clearly you were doing better when you were away from GAB, Lobster. Perhaps you should go away again. For good, this time.

Blue Suede Shempxistential Blues 22,212 16
02/25/2010 08:28 AM

Is Lobstah the new old Pram?

peoriagrace 6,153 11
02/25/2010 09:24 AM

I think Lobstah is ok. I guess I must of missed all the fuss. Course I like just about everyone on here. Probably because I'm so forgetful. I just don't remember anyone rubbing me the wrong way. I also believe everyone is trying to be funny most of the time.

Blue Suede Shempxistential Blues 22,212 16
02/25/2010 09:59 AM

I missed Lobstah's arrival on Live. I also missed AC's subsequent arrival.

I missed a lot of the Lobstah's heart renching rants, and I missed most of AC's racist coments.

I like them both. I like Lobstah just a bit more then AC because she has three love holes, where as AC only has two. Unless you count his fat rolls.

Being neighbors here in Texas, I hope one day to do cornhole kill meet them both.

Duke Ravos IV 62,361 20
02/25/2010 11:51 PM

Lobster's baby is doing fine. Only 4 more months before she's ready to take on the man in the house.

WhyMi 3,545 12
02/26/2010 03:10 AM

I think tis better to have a life Frost-ing suck than a sucking Frost life (or a Frost-ing life suck)