Orb Hoarders Suck Balls, Part III: ZuG Blue Blood - Chickens
A comedy conversation
by Whistler P. McManus  183,262  42
02/19/2010 12:30 PM 197 views
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Member Since: 2001
Orbs Received: 236,534
Orbs Given: 65,034
Chickens doesn't just think he's better than you. He BELIEVES that he is better than you. You are a pathetic, laughable little sub-human, and he is one of ZuG's chosen people. You see, Chickens has accepted John Hargrave as his comedy overlord and has paid $300 for the privilege of having a personal relationship with John.
While you were busy getting through toilet training, Chickens was amassing the largest post count of any ZuG user, ever. While you stuggled with issues of puberty, Chickens was busy surviving the Great Rift and the banning of Ford. Chickens died (and came back to life) before you popped your first zit. You don't get to be all-time funniest by keeping your focus on other people. You have to keep throwing Shakespeare up against the GAB wall, hoping to hell that some of it sticks.
I'm sure none of you are aware of this, but while you struggle to get by on what is barely a living wage, Chickens makes a fortune doing very little and lives like a king. But don't let his modest ways deceive you. Clickie counts have been stable for years. The last overhaul, when we changed from the humble Pee Tube to the mighty Orb of Hilarity, only converted all previous clickies into forbs and mahas into soccer moms. Nothing vanished into thin air, as the humble Chickens would have you believe.
So please, o minions of the poultry, o serfs of the great Lord Capon, bestow orbs upon your better and take the scraps and leavings that are your just due.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
20 votes
4.3
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Hilarious
11 votes
4.1
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dinesh 24,837  15
02/19/2010 01:54 PM
Chickens was the very first person I met at Gablanta. Don't let Whistler fool you, he is good people. Well, except for the unmatched self-involvement. And the holier-than-thou attitude. Though, at least in my case, I think he actually is holier-than-moi.
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Funny
11 votes
3.5
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Frozen Chickens Section 282,028 58
02/19/2010 11:54 PM
I'm loving this series.
In my own defense, I've been aware of my own click disparity for years now. I don't understand it. I click like a mad man.
But I am better than you.
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Funny
6 votes
3.7
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Shell Belle 76,640 24
02/20/2010 12:19 AM
Chickens, God created the orbs of hilarity for a reason. He meant you to click them. Why are you working against the will of God?
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.5
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High Priestess sayth: GEAUX SAINTS! 58,196 29
02/20/2010 12:52 AM
I might had done Chickens at Gablanta if it hadn't been for that Canuck. At least I got to diddle myself off while writhing on his bike while everyone else was watching Vince.
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
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Manhole 20,243 26
02/20/2010 04:43 AM
I don't think chickens is better than me. Maybe cows, bearers of the great Rib Eye. But certainly not chickens.
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
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Frozen Chickens Section 282,028 58
02/21/2010 11:20 PM
I knew that bike seat smelled different after that weekend.
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0 votes
0.0
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TableTopJane 173,911 15
02/22/2010 12:55 AM
Meh. I've given less than half the orbs that Chix has given. I'm not impressed.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
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Just Plain Jeeni 43,391 49
02/22/2010 02:00 AM
Sounds like somebody else wants to be a part of this series too, Whistler.
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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TheFoye 55,700 15
02/22/2010 02:12 AM
John is the worst offender of all, in fact John has given so few orbs/clickies if I didn't know better I would say he has no sense of humor.
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
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Just Plain Jeeni 43,391 49
02/22/2010 02:30 AM
I don't know about that, Foye - The woman Mung scared away only laughed once. (Though heartily.) That's a pretty hard act to follow.
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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Just Plain Jeeni 43,391 49
02/22/2010 07:29 AM
That woman's a man, baby!
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
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Frozen Chickens Section 282,028 58
02/23/2010 12:19 AM
Still, 903:5 ratio is pretty hard to beat.
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0 votes
0.0
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Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
02/23/2010 07:36 AM
I'm not writing a post about Jane, because I'm only writing about people who are still here. And if I was writing about orb hoarders who hardly show their faces anymore, I'd start with the douchenozzle king of the cool kids' table, Chi-Chi.
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