I was onto the next city in my Stop Light Patience Test, where I was measuring how long it took for drivers to honk at a stoplight turned green [read Part 1 here].
A few days later and I was back in lovely Kansas, where I live. I tested four different traffic lights in cities with names like Lenexa, Olathe, Shawnee and Prairie Village. The average time for someone to honk was nearly five seconds, a far cry from New York.
Test #2: Olathe, KS
The most interesting test was when I pulled in front of a large red farmer truck laden with Kansas City Chiefs decals. As the light turned green in the cold darkness of the Kansas morning, nothing happened. I sat through the entire light with not a single honk. I thought that the farmer might have fallen asleep, until I nervously glanced into the rearview mirror to see him staring at me with that, "Hey, I'm a farmer and I can furrow my brow" look. It was actually a bit intimidating.
The second green light flashed in front of my awesome Chrysler 300 (poverty model) and I sat. The engine idled. Again, nothing happened.
I glanced into the mirror a second time, and nearly urinated on my pleather seats. Farmer Meat Hook was getting out. I cringed and sat with my iPhone timer still running, while I turned towards the super-sized white man at my window. He gently knocked, which had the effect of pushing dust out my pee hole with a squeak. I sure didn't want to get beat down by a farmer, but thought, What the hell, it didn't hurt Rodney King.
I rolled down the window and saw the Tony Robbins hand emerge from the flannel shirt. He put his hand on the lowering window and said, "Hey buddy, your car all right?"
Being a natural born smart-astronaut, I said immediately, "I don't know, I'll ask her." I then performed my best pretend-talking-to-a-car bit. I turned back to him and said, "I think she's fine now. Thanks."
"All right buddy," followed by the double tap on the door, and then I was nervously running a red light. Even though the test skewed results slightly in their favor, Kansas people are pretty cool.
OLATHE, KS RESULTS: 286 seconds
Finally, I would test the patience of a people even more refined than Midwestern farmers: The British.
Please continue to Part 3: Edginess in England!
|
|
Store
1,300 
5 
62,361 
20