In my yeast spread taste test, I had sampled Marmite, Bovril, and OXO both raw [Part 1] and in tea [Part 2]. I was still shaking from these tests, but now a new horror was to be unleashed upon my stomach.
TEST #3: Chip Dip
I decided my only chance of survival was to buy a chip that had a powerful flavor. I chose Doritos Fiery Habenero, and said a quiet prayer.
For this test, I rated each extract on consistency and complimentary flavor on a scale of 1-5.
Cheese Marmite
I had high hopes for Cheese Marmite in this test, and it did not disappoint. It had a nice, cheesy consistency, and was the only extract to earn a 5 on that front. With trembling fingers, I scooped the dip and ate the chip. This could be a winner! Although I'd still prefer a real chip dip to Cheese Marmite, you could definitely trick drunken partygoers into believing this was dip. It received a double 5, and I breathed a double sigh of relief.
Marmite
With new vigour, I dipped my chip into the Marmite jar; then quickly realized that Marmite was far too stiff to work as a good chip dip. After breaking three chips, and giving it a 1 for consistency, I proceeded to eat the Dorito. This was not fun. Marmite gets a stomach-churning 1 on the flavor test, giving it a double 1.
OXO
Oxo was far too runny to pass as chip dip, but the beef flavor was quite complementary. When it had been applied to the Habenero Dorito, it actually made me believe that I was eating a chilli steak (granted, a chilli steak eaten by someone else earlier). But still, it scored a 2 on the consistency and a 3 on flavor, ending on a solid 2.5.
Bovril
This had a very good "dip" consistency, but I remain astounded that something can be both runny and sticky at the same time. Consistency got a 4, although its taste did not complement Doritos at all, earning a 2 on that front.
Chilli Bovril
Same consistency as Bovril, scoring a 4, but its chilli flavour helped overpower the horrendous yeasty buildup that was slowly killing me. I gave it a 3, and fell to my knees joyfully giving thanks that this part of the test was over.
Now only one test remained, though possibly the most disgusting: the adhesive test.
Please continue to Part 4: Yeasty 'N' Sticky!
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