Hydrant-monkey 9,888 23
03/02/2010 11:42 PM

I don't really remember. I was probably looking for boob pictures.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
03/02/2010 11:42 PM

I came for the poop jokes... I stayed for the friendship.

Taco Crunch: it's got electrolytes 61,976 36
03/02/2010 11:43 PM

GAY.

KCheeky Monkey 128,446 98
03/02/2010 11:44 PM

I also came in looking for funny horoscopes. It was the credit card prank that kept me.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
03/02/2010 11:45 PM

I came here. No really I came here, watch your step.

Dance Commander Ravos 63,472 21
03/02/2010 11:46 PM

I came here because a friend told me about the prank calls that John did, so I checked them out. Boredom is what keeps me here.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
03/02/2010 11:47 PM

I actually got here helping a friend do a report on Michael Jackson.

Yeah, the report sucked.

The Write Straw 98,023 37
03/02/2010 11:48 PM

I think yahoo used to have some sort of function where you could search for links by categories. I was looking for humor, and this was one of the links. I loved John's articles, and went through a lot of the archives just reading them. It was months before I signed up for GAB because I was confused by the whole pee tube thing. Then it was a couple weeks before I posted because I was intimidated.

Taco Crunch: it's got electrolytes 61,976 36
03/02/2010 11:49 PM

I also came in looking for funny horoscopes. It was the credit card prank that kept me.

Makes sense, it's currently ranked the funniest article all-time.

Analog 9,608 19
03/02/2010 11:53 PM

I came because every couple of weeks John liquors me up and cons me into working on the site.

Midgets 96,151 48
03/02/2010 11:53 PM

I was somewhere else, don't remember where, and it had a link to the Kellogs Prank.

What kept me here was the tits page every body I know in person has a No Contact order the funny.

Ceci n'est pas une Phla 131,068 34
03/03/2010 12:02 AM

I came here looking for instructions on How To Frost Up My Cubicle.

Thank god I only had to wait 6 years!

BillSalamie 67,060 13
03/03/2010 12:15 AM

I came here to chew gum and kick ass, but then I ran out of chewing gum.

Cyco Ivan 11,330 11
03/03/2010 12:19 AM

I originally came here from Fark, but what kept me here is the P-p-p-powerbook prank

SHP 181,795 70
03/03/2010 12:28 AM

Someone sent me the RIAA prank, then I found the Credit Card prank on my own. Then horoscopes, then GAB. I left for a while over the last couple of years.

I came back because I can't get Orbs on Facebook.

Brad Poynter 36,184 48
03/03/2010 12:31 AM

I came here looking for a writing gig where I could make good use of my natural insanity and talent.

I am still here because of an unhealty obsession with orbs.

BillSalamie 67,060 13
03/03/2010 12:33 AM

I came here because I was watching the Super Bowl an, all of a sudden, I saw "zug" spelled out in the crowd, clear as day.

dasypygal-unwaxed 14,803 17
03/03/2010 02:38 AM

I found ZuG via the Powerbook article.

I stayed because of the warm welcomefriendly people spankings.

BillSalamie 67,060 13
03/03/2010 02:48 AM

One of the reasons I stayed was because the caption contest was changed so frequently. Like the one with the two dudes kissing at a parade, it was here one day and gone the next so you had to be on your toes.

Anyone who misses the old GAB 176,467 56
03/03/2010 03:32 AM

I stayed only because of the T&A pages in the photo album.

Dogs Akimbo 211,612 32
03/03/2010 09:35 AM

I came for you.

Pram 80,728 42
03/03/2010 10:03 AM

I came for John's prank articles and the Capcons, then saw that there was a messagebeard, so after several weeks of reading that, I joined so I could participate in the funny. Then I went through a bunch of Shakespeare in my personal life and my sense of humor was gone for awhile. But it's back, and you penis is unzipped!

Cinderblock 27,578 25
03/03/2010 10:49 AM

I actually think I originally came here because my friend told me about the tollbooth prank. Mind you, that was when I was in MIDDLE SCHOOL. Back then, you didn't have to register to comment on stuff, so I said something on some capcon, received abuse, got sad, and left. A few years later, I stumbled back for more abuse, except this time I was 18, so I registered. So... I came for the oranges, I stayed for the abuse.

Just Plain Jeeni 47,812 51 copies and pastes from her most recent message to Mailman
03/03/2010 10:58 AM

The Credit Card Prank is how I found the site. A friend emailed me a link & I made the mistake of reading it at work - while the owner of the company sat about 5 feet from me. I was busted because I couldn't keep from laughing out loud. Doh!

ThirstyMcSurly, Zombie OBGYN 4,444 12
03/03/2010 11:08 AM

Manny brought me here< at gun point I think...

Millie 116,988 28
03/03/2010 11:17 AM

I was cyber-stalking my on-again-off-again boyfriend.

We were off shortly before I started posting here, but I was at his house one night because I have low self-esteem. I was in bed and he was on the computer. He has Shakespearety eyesight so his screen size is really enlarged, and I could see what he was looking at from across the room.

I woke up and looked over to see why the Frost he was on the computer instead of in bed with me. I saw the ZUG logo and the cute little icons and I was intrigued--then I went back to sleep.

A few days later, I was back at my house and decided to see what ZUG was. I lurked for a while to see what he was doing, but then I registered and started posting. My goal became getting more clickies than he did, which I easily achieved because I'm much funnier than he is.

He didn't know who I was for a few months. I finally told him next time I was at his house and saw him looking at my profile (again, when I was in bed and he was on the computer--WTF is his problem, anyway?) Apparently, he was curious about "Millie" because she said she liked bald Jewish guys. He didn't put two and two together--dumbass.

We posted here without anyone knowing we were a couple (well, kind of a couple) for almost a year until ZUG10. Even though we showed up together and were staying in the same room, some people still didn't figure out we were a couple.

Now, he has been gone for at least a year and I'm still here.

Millie 116,988 28
03/03/2010 11:22 AM

Oh, and we were off-again until ZUG10, and we've pretty much been together, kind of, since then.

dasypygal-unwaxed 14,803 17
03/03/2010 11:24 AM

...and I'm the 'tard??!???

Millie, you just fell off of my pedestal.

Millie 116,988 28
03/03/2010 11:50 AM

Hey, I never called you a 'tard. And I never said I wasn't one.

Sin an méid a dúirt sí 27,416 24
03/03/2010 12:11 PM

I was bored during my work study in college. I google searched "bored at work" (because I'm all creative and junk) and that led me to www.boredatwork.com. At the time of this particular search, the Credit Card Prank had been recently posted so it was near the top. I read it and decided to see what other articles their were. P-P-P-Powerbook! is still my all-time favorite article on this site; I'm still wondering if Jeff is okay.

Ultimately what made me stay was I wanted to rate somebody's post one day and I couldn't do that without signing up. Now that I was enrolled, I figured why not poke around and see what this place is all about. Took me about an day to realize it was pretty much just about poop.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
03/03/2010 12:42 PM

Seven years ago, I came here because I wanted a custom icon drawn by a half-asian carnivore.

So I'm done now. Bye!

Thud 68,517 19
03/03/2010 12:56 PM

I came here to escape the pain that is my normal work day.

I originally came here because of the credit card prank.

Running with Scissors 3,510 12
03/03/2010 01:14 PM

Someone linked John's prank call to the NAACP to another site I was on. I thought it was funny as Shakespeare and came over to take a look.

High Priestess sayth: GEAUX SAINTS! 58,967 29
03/03/2010 01:15 PM

I honestly can't remember. I think it was the horoscopes, but it may have been the Wal-Mart prank.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
03/03/2010 01:51 PM

I was looking up prank videos on you tube; found my way here. I noticed people were funny and funny-mean. I thought: "I've found the place where I might belong".

I've been wrong before.

Frogpop 173,153 25
03/03/2010 02:13 PM

My Computer Stew t-shirt had gotten a little yellowed and unwearable-in-public, so I came back to see what John was up to and whether it involved another t-shirt that might be worth having. I read the Emotigone article and a couple of Capcons and I felt right at home.

Nachos 57,521 23
03/03/2010 07:26 PM

So... I came for the oranges, I stayed for the abuse.

Nice to see you and the Lobster have something in common.

Crusty Ninja 32 6
03/03/2010 09:22 PM

I came here because I had nothing better to do in school. (Who knew?!)

PhoenixVirus 5 6
03/03/2010 09:27 PM

I came here because I had nothing better to do in school. (Who knew?!)


I sit right next to this guy in CET and I was always looking at everything he looked at on here, so it finally piqued (think that's the right word) my interest and I decided to register. Yay me.

ZukeTheRed 546 6
03/04/2010 01:22 AM

I can't remember exactly how I stumbled across this site. I know it happened during the long hours I was bored fixing people's computers as a work-study in IT during college.

Several people have mentioned the powerbook prank; I think I remember seeing that on SomethingAwful and then maybe somehow getting over here but I could just be getting confused.

One of the earliest stories I remember really laughing at concerned a guy farting in a coffee can and tricking his roommate into taking a nice whiff. It's much much less funny when I describe it that way. I can't seem to find it.

I also remember the Joe PeaColeridge Walmart prank early on. Good times.

Crash Test Dummy 3,671 9
03/04/2010 05:27 AM

I was actually looking for info on Lake Zug in Switzerland, as I had a pen pal living there and was thinking about visiting him. Then I found this site, started reading, then lurking, then posting, and totally forgot about Switzerland.







Which might explain why my pen pal stopped writing...

Kiss me I'm Cyco Irish 11,330 11
03/04/2010 07:23 AM

I came here for a free shirt, and I'm not leaving until I get one. So if you want me gone, 5-orb everything I post for the next month. If you don't I'll have to assume most of you want me around yet, and I will have to pity you.

Ditdah 123,110 14
03/04/2010 07:35 AM

I was trying to find office pranks that were quick (ie: not costing $5000 and an entire weekend of work, like some of the recent prank suggestions) and found the printer pranks. I don't know if they're even around anymore.

I stayed because I read John's pranks: the tollbooth pranks, Powerbook prank, credit card pranks, etc... Those were and still are my favorite thing abou ZUG.

Eventually I found GAB and stuck around there because I developed an obsessive crush on a GABber. I don't recall which GABber it was first, but it changed a few times over the years. Most of them eventually faded away. (The crushes, not the GABbers.)

Except for the crush I have on you-know-who; that's as bad as ever.

Dianada 57,835 109
03/04/2010 07:57 AM

Hi Ditdah!!!!!






It's me, isn't it? You can tell me.

Ditdah 123,110 14
03/04/2010 08:01 AM

I actually planned to post "(Lets see how many people think it's them)" at the bottom in the little font, but I'm too dumb to figure out how. Didn't there used to be a tag for that? I'm SURE people aren't actually coding it in HTML.

So instead I felt dumb and just left it off, and now I look like I'm insane.

dasypygal-unwaxed 14,803 17
03/04/2010 08:58 AM

It's me. I'm sure of it!

Barney T Dinosaur 2,612 19
03/04/2010 09:04 AM

What brought me here? I did a search for jokes and Hargraves name came up.

Rene 1,810 11
03/04/2010 09:35 AM

There was a link to Whistler's Chinese Tattoo prank on ebaum's world or some other site that I frequented years ago. I started coming back everyday to read more articles. Six months probably went by before I even realized there was a message board. A whole year went by before I actually signed up. GAB was a lot more vicious than this Live place.

Satans Toenails 4,199 12
03/04/2010 08:37 PM

I'm tied to a chair in some austrian guys basement... If I don't go on Zug he'll refuse to do unspeakable things to my no-no place.

Dance Commander Ravos 63,472 21
03/04/2010 10:18 PM

If you don't I'll have to assume most of you want me around yet, and I will have to pity you.

I'm not above accepting pity orbs, so feel free to send them my way.

Fratberry 283,051 53
03/04/2010 11:14 PM

I found a posting on I Love Bacon about the All Natural Prank.



Once I saw it I knew I had to read everything on the site. That's also about the time my production at work went right into the Shakespeareter, as shown below...

Kiss me I'm Cyco Irish 11,330 11
03/05/2010 01:40 AM

Didn't there used to be a tag for that? I'm SURE people aren't actually coding it in HTML.


The tag for that is [caption][/caption]. You can find it under the "A" icon 2nd from the right.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
03/05/2010 01:48 AM

I took a wrong turn on the Information Super Highway, and ended up on this dirt road of retards, paint huffers, social miscreants, and poop jokes.

Midgets 96,151 48
03/05/2010 01:55 AM

Hey!

I've never huffed paint.

Frozen Chickens Section 286,634 61
03/05/2010 02:03 AM

Computer Stew- Nipple Clamps episode

Link from www.sicktwistedjokes.com

Frozen Chickens Section 286,634 61
03/05/2010 02:05 AM

Course that site appears to be long gone.

Blue Suede Shempxistential Blues 22,222 17
03/05/2010 05:24 AM

One night back in 2006 I was out of weed really bored. So I Googled the word comedy. ZUG was one of the sites that popped up, I clicked on the link and have been a GAB addict ever since. Even though I went over a year without signing on, I still masturbated thinking about GAB every night.

Things changed a little over that year I was away.

Pram went from being the most hated GABber to being one of the most loved.

Whistler went from being an old fife player to being an old GAY fife player.

Taco is still hot, but now I'm convinced she has a penis. Most likely bigger then mine.

Millie went from an old black lady who likes to make cookies to a not so old MILF who likes to make cookies.

Finally GAB lost a little of it's edge trying to appease nOObs. As I say, Frost the nOObs, Frost them right in thier nOObie faces.

the fun in dysfunctional 1,970 6
03/05/2010 05:29 AM

Yes, please Frost me in my little n00b face. It'll be the most action I've had in a long time.

Rock Lobster. Just Rock Lobster. 18,572 33
03/05/2010 11:33 AM

I first found zug when I was in the navy. I had put on about 20 pounds after my knee injury, and was looking into colonics to help me lose some puffiness around the belly area.

I found John's colon cleanse prank, laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants at work, and then joined. I lurked for about a month, and then one sad, drunken day, made my first post and linked to my MySpace page all in one day.

Chickens said something about puppies, and dinesh mentioned lechery, and I knew I had found a new home.

I stay for the constant verbal abuse and jokes about bad mistakes I've made, even if I've learned to let them go. I know I can count on all of you to make sure I never forget!

I love this site.

Step daddy 96,151 48
03/05/2010 11:57 AM

Wanna love something 8 inches long and married to your mom?

Irish Midgets 96,151 48
03/05/2010 12:06 PM

I'm sorry Lobster, that was low.





































































Just like the camera under your door.

Manhole 21,658 29
03/05/2010 12:11 PM

So you know how long her step dads slong is huh...


















FAG!!!