Anh Onymous 11,108 14
03/06/2010 12:30 PM

Are you trying to tell us something, Whistler?

Crash Test Dummy 3,671 9
03/06/2010 12:46 PM

Dear Bethany,

Following is an easy to perform procedure to ensure the return of your obedient lamb of a child.

Step 1 Ensure that you have a very close relationship with God. Having had a beer or smoked a fat doobie with God definitely ups your chances.

Step 2 Work with a team. In the Roman Catholic rite of exorcism the exorcist has three assistants: a physician, a younger priest and a strong member of the victim's family. A WWE heavyweight tag team can also replace the physician and the younger priest.

Step 3 Confess your sins and ask for forgiveness. If you can't find any or think that you are sinless, make some up. It will please the priest, and you may even get a rebate.

Step 4 Ask the demon his name. This will help you to determine who is possessing the victim and the nature of the possession. It can also be useful to look him up in Facebook afterwards, to hook up and remember the good ole days.

Step 5 Pray for the demon to leave the victim. If you know Latin, use it because it is believed to be the best language for exorcism. Why, nobody knows, but apparently that gibberish scares the living Frost out of demons. During the prayer, the assistants can read scriptures from the Bible or, if said assistants are from WWE, they can make empty threats and smash empty bottles onto one another's forehead.

Step 6 Command the demon to leave the victim in the name of Jesus Christ or any other Jesus you may know. If the demon does not leave, repeat the ritual using Richard Simmons as the exorcist.

Step 7 Pray for God to help and protect the victim while you load your 12 gauge shotgun (this is only to prove to that mother-Frostin' demon that you're serious about him leaving).

Step 8 If all of the above fails, shoot your son and feed his remains to the town's stray dogs.


Glad I could help,
Catholic Test Dummy

dasypygal-unwaxed 12,075 15
03/06/2010 12:55 PM

He might just be the next Olympic figure skating condender. Offer to buy him some costumes, and I'm SURE he won't get anybody pregnant.

Shemping at the heliopause 22,212 16
03/06/2010 01:58 PM

I'm concerned that my son is secretly on meth?

My 17 year old son has been very hungry lately, we have gone through 3 bags of Cheetos in the last week. Recently he has started to come home with blood shot eyes and giggling at everything I say. And tonight when I was snooping through his room, I found a High Times magazine, rolling papers, a little bag of pot, and worse yet, Pink Floyd's The Darkside of the Moon. He obviously is slamming crank, and he is hiding it from me that he brought meth into my home and I am afraid he is shooting up and I am greatly concerned the his is going to die.

What should I do about this?

Ceci n'est pas une Phla 130,632 34
03/06/2010 02:02 PM

Et tu, Whistler?

Irish Midgets 93,936 47
03/06/2010 02:06 PM

Bethany,

Your worst fears are founded!

I went through the same thing with my boys. My Priest advised me that the boys were acting out because of my restrictive parenting and also out of boredom. On his advice we introduced them to new experiences such as massage classes, wood wind lessons, tanning sessions, and baking classes to take their sweet minds off of sinfull temptation.
This didn't stop their carnal desires entirely, but somehow it opened their eyes to the importance of safe sex. Besides condoms they asked us for rubber gloves, full leather body suits and large quantities of Vasiline (friction is the condoms biggest enemy). They started attending church again with a new zest!! You couldn't keep them away, always going early, staying late, volunteering for choir.

Just hang in there and follow my advice. God bless.

Mamma McManus.

Kiss me I'm Cyco Irish 11,324 11
03/06/2010 02:07 PM

Bethany:

You could always try asking God for a clue. It'll cost you dearly though.

Sincerly,
Cyco

Crash Test Dummy 3,671 9 thinks he'll open up a consultation office. This is way too easy...
03/06/2010 02:09 PM

Dear Shemp,

Following is an easy to perform procedure to ensure the return of your obedient lamb of a child.

Step 1 Read advice to Bethany, replacing Richard Simmons with Keith Richards and faggot with junkie.

Glad I could help,
Crack Test Dummy

Filly - waxed 39,160 20 shudders
03/06/2010 02:19 PM

What truly frightens me is that there legitimately are people out there like that. And they have just as much input into how this country is run as I do.

The Mailman 174,473 52
03/06/2010 02:31 PM

Fratberry, your help is required in the DIY section of Yahoo Answers:

The Mailman 174,473 52
03/06/2010 02:33 PM

Sometimes it's not the question that's funny, but the answer.

Gorky Thatcher 41,132 12
03/06/2010 10:15 PM

That's hot.

Gorky Thatcher 41,132 12
03/06/2010 10:24 PM

Highly. Switch that bitch.

Gorky Thatcher 41,132 12
03/06/2010 10:26 PM

Yes. Make it a double with bacon, cheese, lettuce, mayo, ketchup, pickles and a side of onion rings.

Slurpy Sammich ! 772 9
03/06/2010 11:23 PM

Dear Beth
Here are some mom's with similar troubles.
Hope you feel better.

Slurpy Sammich ! 772 9
03/06/2010 11:36 PM

Dear Beth
I found this question that you had posted 17 years ago.











So now you understand why your son has issues right?Postponing labor can cause serious damage to the child's brain and in this case to the mother's also .

The Mailman 174,473 52
03/07/2010 05:14 AM

I like the fact that the question above sparked a debate, complete with scientific references, among the people who submitted answers.

The Mailman 174,473 52
03/07/2010 05:14 AM

Fratberry, your help is needed again:

Dance Commander Ravos 62,361 20
03/07/2010 10:42 PM

Crash Test Dummy, I thought the 12-step program had 12 steps. Thank you for correcting this misunderstanding.

Bill the Squirrel 53,130 53
03/08/2010 12:21 AM

She must live in Georgia.

Ali Legend 840 7
03/08/2010 02:26 AM

Older than the mother-Frosting internet, mother-Froster!

Sir Buck 10 5
03/23/2010 11:10 AM

Yeah in sure he has a girlfriend. He's totally going to get hr pregnant......expecially if hes looking at that magazine

MungChamp 35,886 35
03/24/2010 12:17 AM

Even Chuck weighs in!

Semper Fidelis Tyrannotacosaurus 61,959 36
03/27/2010 01:42 PM

Mung, remind me if I ever meet you in person to show you my boobs.

MungChamp 35,886 35
03/27/2010 03:43 PM

Awesome. I will take you up on this offer, as the internet represents a binding contract.

I definitely moved up 3 spots on Pram'Shakespeare list.

>Pram 78,171 40
03/28/2010 12:45 AM

Mung, Taco can show her boobs to whoever she wants. I really don't care. If she starts showing her sneakers, though... I might get a little jealous.

Alright, no more posting, I need to meet this deadline!!! Have a good weekend. *turns into a bat and flies back to his claymation laboratory*

>Pram 78,171 40 dumps the penny out of his bucket and pounds on it while yelling
03/28/2010 12:00 PM

I AM SO GREAT, I AM SO GREAT, YOU ALL WANNA BE ME, I AM SO GREAT.

Semper Fidelis Tyrannotacosaurus 61,959 36
03/28/2010 11:37 PM

Mung, Taco can show her boobs to whoever she wants.

I wasn't aware I needed permission.

Alt+Ctrl+Ravos 62,361 20
03/28/2010 11:39 PM

Well, now you know.