Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
03/10/2010 05:13 AM

That's why sorority girls with coke habits are great for college campuses. They motivate all the fatties to get up and work out.

Filly - waxed 39,160 20
03/10/2010 05:16 AM

BIG! I thought you said you wouldn't say anything about that!

Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
03/10/2010 05:20 AM

Hey, you looked good, your fat friends needed the motivation.

Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
03/10/2010 05:20 AM

AND I WASN'T MOTIVATED!!!!

Sin an méid a dúirt sí 26,020 24
03/10/2010 05:23 AM

Signs of spring have shown in Pennsylvania for the past two days: temperatures over 50 and lots of sun!

The fat people have noticed too. Yesterday I saw 3 different plus size women in halter tops. God must've thrown up in his mouth a little at the scenery because now it's supposed to rain for the next 4 days.

the fun in dysfunctional 1,970 6
03/10/2010 05:23 AM

When I lived in NYC the first day of spring was marked by "perkies". (The first day women walk to work without sweaters or jackets on and voila "perkies".)

Filly - waxed 39,160 20
03/10/2010 05:24 AM

AND I WASN'T MOTIVATED!!!!

I mean, I can only wear so few clothes. It's not my fault you lack motivation.

Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
03/10/2010 05:27 AM

I guess after that incident I erased all your motivational posters.

Brad Poynter 35,418 48
03/10/2010 05:31 AM

Fact 1: Most women think they are fat.
Fact 2: Not all women are fat.
Fact 3: People ridicule fat women in skimpy clothes.

From the facts above we can ascertain that when people complain about fat chicks in skimpy clothes, it makes the women who think they are fat but are actually not wear more clothes.

Therefore to see more skinny chicks in skimpy clothes, we must not ridicule the ones who can't really pull it off (sometimes literally).

This same logic applies to boobography as well.

Sin an méid a dúirt sí 26,020 24
03/10/2010 05:33 AM

We're talking about fat chicks, where's The Foye? His senses must be a little off.

Irish Midgets 93,936 47
03/10/2010 05:35 AM

Therefore to see more skinny chicks in skimpy clothes, we must not ridicule the ones who can't really pull it off (sometimes literally).


A fat chick could ride a moped through the holes in that theory.

SHP 181,263 70
03/10/2010 05:40 AM

I haven't run into the scary fat people yet this spring, but I'm telling you, the Frankenfeet are plentiful.

Being able to claw my eyes out with a roundhouse kick is, in every way, unacceptable.

Running with Scissors 3,504 12
03/10/2010 05:41 AM

The residual fat content of most women will linger well into the summer this year due to the unusually harsh winter we had. Just another liability from global warming.

Stone Cold Bikini 62,254 18
03/10/2010 05:41 AM

There was a false spring last week. It lasted two days. The first day, I was way over-dressed for it and was sweltering everywhere I went in my massive sheepskin coat. The second day I spent mostly indoors because of work, but it was mild and lovely. The third day, I caught a horrible chill which has turned into flu because despite the stupid misleading sunshine, it was Frost-ing freezing cold wind all day and I'd dressed for spring.

Frost you, weather. I didn't leave Canada to be subjected to more than two months of winter. This is bull Shakespeare.

Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
03/10/2010 05:43 AM

Stop your Frost-ing whining.

Rock Lobster. Just Rock Lobster. 17,422 30
03/10/2010 05:52 AM

I made sure to get a pedicure when springtime hit Texas, before I even thought about putting on my flip-flops again.

Oh yes. Spring is here. In like a lion, even. It just hailed all over the place. I thought I was in a Jiffy Pop popcorn popper:

Semper Fidelis Tyrannotacosaurus 61,959 36
03/10/2010 06:00 AM

You know what black MS paint blobs can't hide? The ability to use google and find literally that exact same page.

Wokka Rokka Ravos 62,361 20
03/10/2010 06:04 AM

Taco beat me to the punch groin-shot.

Rock Lobster. Just Rock Lobster. 17,422 30
03/10/2010 06:10 AM

Meh.

Gorky Thatcher 41,132 12
03/10/2010 06:16 AM

You know what black MS paint blobs can't hide? The ability to use google and find literally that exact same page.

But her step-dad can't use Google, right?

Wokka Rokka Ravos 62,361 20
03/10/2010 06:17 AM

I was unaware that lobsters wear clothing. What a sight that must be!





But seriously, I have no interest in seeing that.

Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
03/10/2010 06:19 AM

If I post something inappropriate, say, all the pictures that have been taken for the Tittie Plate, would Analog erase the pictures or the whole thread? Because I think I know a fun way to stop all the How To Threads.

Shell Belle 76,640 24
03/10/2010 06:28 AM

puts on belly shirt.

Show-off.

Rock Lobster. Just Rock Lobster. 17,422 30
03/10/2010 06:29 AM

Lobsters don't wear clothes. We wear top hats and bow ties!

Filly - waxed 39,160 20
03/10/2010 06:32 AM

Lobsters should wear handcuffs so they can't type and gags so they can't speak.

Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
03/10/2010 06:34 AM

And chastity belts so they can't procreate anymore.

Rock Lobster. Just Rock Lobster. 17,422 30
03/10/2010 06:40 AM

While looking for some funny picture to post about procreation, I ran across this:



This can only mean one thing.

Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
03/10/2010 06:44 AM

You should stop posting and go raise your child. I don't think multitasking is something you should try.

Rock Lobster. Just Rock Lobster. 17,422 30
03/10/2010 06:48 AM

She's taking a nap. I got about 20 more minutes.

Besides, only 2 or three days a week of me posting is better than all day, every day. I mean, my funny to unfunny ratio greatly improves when I post more, but at least you don't have to see my face as much now that I've had a spawn.

How's the not doing what you went to school for going, BIG?

The High Priestess 58,196 29
03/10/2010 06:51 AM

our second 55 degree (F) + day in a row

It was 80 here for the 4th day in a row. Beautiful 80 degrees. With a light breeze. I might sunbathe tomorrow.

Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
03/10/2010 06:52 AM

Sorry to let you down, but I am doing the attorney thing. Yay, being able to pay back those loans.

The High Priestess 58,196 29
03/10/2010 06:59 AM

You are free to hate me. Because I don't live in Frost-ing OHIO

Rock Lobster. Just Rock Lobster. 17,422 30
03/10/2010 07:00 AM

Oh yeah, also, I'm wearing my new spring dress. It looks like this:



But better.

Do you love it? I love it! I got it at Ross!

Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
03/10/2010 07:00 AM

Because the restraining order doesn't let you within 1000 miles of Canada.

Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
03/10/2010 07:01 AM

It was for HP, but it might work here, too.

The High Priestess 58,196 29
03/10/2010 09:14 AM

I gave you two fivers BIG, because I am a good sport and you made me laugh. But really, it's the other way around. I'm free to move about the continent, he isn't.

dasypygal-unwaxed 12,075 15
03/10/2010 09:31 AM

I don't shop at Target, I shop at Wal-Mart. Can I wear my new Spring belly shirt there?

Ceci n'est pas une Phla 130,632 34
03/10/2010 10:45 AM

Belly shirt or ace bandage?

Your What?! Hurts? 5,582 10
03/10/2010 01:21 PM

It was 80 here for the 4th day in a row. Beautiful 80 degrees. With a light breeze. I might sunbathe tomorrow.

Frost.
You.


That is all.

Shemping at the heliopause 22,212 16
03/10/2010 04:47 PM

I haven't run into the scary fat people yet this spring, but I'm telling you, the Frankenfeet are plentiful.



I have.

Just this morning, I caught a glimps of my wet fat self in the mirror, while stepping out of the shower.

Then I seen my shadow, and I went back to bed for 6 weeks.

Wokka Rokka Ravos 62,361 20
03/10/2010 09:59 PM

How's the not doing what you went to school for going, BIG?

So, Lobster, I suppose you're doing what you went to school for? I knew they had a school for hard-knocks, but I was unaware there was a school for knocked-ups.

Bill the Squirrel 53,130 53
03/10/2010 11:34 PM

How's the not doing what you went to school for going, BIG?

So, Lobster, I suppose you're doing what you went to school for? I knew they had a school for hard-knocks, but I was unaware there was a school for knocked-ups.

Yeah there is, she was home schooled.

Kiss me I'm Cyco Irish 11,324 11
03/11/2010 12:52 AM

I've heard of people getting screwed by the education system before but not literally.

Wokka Rokka Ravos 62,361 20
03/11/2010 01:08 AM

"Get in the locker, nerd!"
"That's the fridge, dad."

Frozen Chickens Section 282,028 58
03/11/2010 02:24 AM

I swear I could smell the grass growing yesterday. Soon it will be cut and will smell even better.

Ahh spring.

Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
03/11/2010 02:38 AM

I swear I could smell the grass growing yesterday. Soon it will be cut and will smell even better.

Taking your wife and daughter for bikini waxes?

Frozen Chickens Section 282,028 58
03/11/2010 03:06 AM

Dang, that's low even for you.

Frozen Chickens Section 282,028 58
03/11/2010 03:06 AM

But yes.

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
03/11/2010 07:46 AM

How's the not doing what you went to school for going, BIG?


Hahahahahahah! That's hilarious, Lobster. Or should I be calling you DOCTOR Lobster?

Frogpop 173,113 25
03/11/2010 07:55 AM

Lobsters [i]should[/i] wear handcuffs.. ..and gags.

I can see that you're intrigued by the stepdad's ideas and would like to subscribe to his newsletter.

Dropkick Brody 43,075 12
03/11/2010 08:34 AM

Yesterday I saw a group of lads wearing tshirts buying icecreams. I was wearing my winter coat, scarf and earmuffs. I was most definitely the one acting appropriately for the weather.

Future Druggist 2,530 10
03/11/2010 08:48 AM

Been walking to class in just my Wicked trackjacket.

Your What?! Hurts? 5,582 10
03/11/2010 09:34 AM

Kinda breezy on the ol' cooter, ain't it?

Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
03/11/2010 11:06 AM

Chix, I can go lower. Post before and after pictures.

Future Druggist 2,530 10
03/11/2010 01:54 PM

Nah, I do get some funny looks though. I'm not sure why...

Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
03/11/2010 05:18 PM

Spring leads to Summer, and I bet Summer Tam gives a great hand job.

Frogpop 173,113 25
03/11/2010 08:25 PM

vote for Summer!

Kiss me I'm Cyco Irish 11,324 11
03/12/2010 01:08 AM

I wanted to but 2 large Mexicans beat me up

Rock Lobster. Just Rock Lobster. 17,422 30
03/13/2010 09:10 AM

Oh yeah, did I mention that I have the arm flab?



And I STILL wear sleeveless tops!

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
03/13/2010 09:55 AM

Last year, she was a rich, spoiled, hot medical student.

This year she's a poor, trailer trash, flabby, fugusting babymama/incest survivor.


Both years she'll do anything for a little attention.



































FROM DADDY!

Wokka Rokka Ravos 62,361 20
03/14/2010 11:16 PM

Oh yeah, did I mention that I have the arm flab?

Oh yeah, did I mention nobody is surprised by your Christmas hams?

Dropkick Brody 43,075 12
03/14/2010 11:44 PM

Here, most days are starting to be clear and sunny, but when you get outside it's still cold enough for winter coats. Every day I see the sun and get hopeful, only to be shiveringly disappointed when I go outside.

Major Inconvenience 115 7
03/15/2010 09:13 AM

Today is our second 55 degree (F) + day in a row.

It's been over 75 here for the past few MONTHS, but, alas, we are heading into the cold, clutches of winter.

Millie 116,854 28
03/16/2010 01:57 AM

When you live in a cold climate, as soon as the temperature hits about 50, people think they can start wearing shorts and flip-flops. I some some slutty teenage girls in shorts the other day (and they were a bit fat, of course). It's Maine, most women are fat or at least chubby.

I go to Wal-Mart more than Target because it's next to my work. I'm constantly amazed at the people who shop there. What's with the giant fat people wearing pajamas and even slippers out in public? I've noticed this trend for years. I remember the day I want to court for my divorce, there was a girl waiting to go in another courtroom for some thing and she was wearing pajamas and slippers. I'm sure her lawyer was thrilled with that get-up.

I mean, I know pajamas are comfortable, especially if you're obese, but it still grosses me out for some reason. I guess because I imagine if you're wearing pajamas, you just rolled out of bed and didn't shower or anything.

The other thing about Spring is the stupid skateboarder boys who skate right in front of my house have come back. Actually, it must be different boys because I've lived here eight years and the original ones must be grown up by now. They all look the same to me, though.

Kiss me I'm Cyco Irish 11,324 11
03/16/2010 02:11 AM

Yeah, I was woken up this morning to the click clack of a skateboard on the sidewalk. One of these days, I'm going to put a trap door in the sidewalk. However, even if I get rid of all the boarders, I still have to make a plan to get rid of all the motorcyclists (Harley drivers especially) who go ripping down the street at 7am. You mean to tell me we can prank the Super Bowl but no one has figured out how to put a decent muffler on one of those midlife crisismobiles?

Little Irish Midgets 93,936 47
03/16/2010 04:22 AM

Ivans post reminded me of last fall. My neighbor is a huge Harley Douche.
He put on the loudest most irritating pipes he could find on his bike. It didn't sound good, just loud.
If you complained to him it got worse. He would tear that thing up and down the road.

One afternoon it was really bad and we were trying to have a bbq, so I called the cops.
They show up and warn him about the noise and all is good for about 30 minutes.

Mr. Douche then starts his bike up in his drive way, glares at us, and proceedes to rev the piss out of it.

I was on the verge of calling the police back but then the problem solved itself.

VRRRROOOOOOOMMMMMMVROOOOOMVRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOBANGPOPBOOOM!!!!

Flames and bits of piston hit his garage door and a huge pool appeared under his engine.

We just all smiled and saluted him with a beer. It's been awfully quite around here since then!

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
03/16/2010 04:38 AM

Electric mini-bikes are the latest rage in my neighborhood. They're blessedly quiet, which is good until one of the little Frosters runs into you.