The Mailman 174,473 52
03/15/2010 12:55 AM

What are your plans for after you have passed away?

Well since you asked, I've always wondered what necrophilia feels like from the dead person's perspective.

Kiss me I'm Cyco Irish 11,324 11
03/15/2010 12:55 AM

I want to have my two bumbling employees carry on the illusion that I'm still alive in order to go hang out at my beach house for the weekend.

Difficulty: I need to get a beach house and bumbling employees before I die.

Wokka Rokka Ravos 62,361 20
03/15/2010 12:56 AM

Sounds like a 90's sitcom.

Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Zolton 87,649 31
03/15/2010 12:59 AM

It's already in my will that I be scattered in the pool at the Playboy mansion.

They'd probably be more comfortable with it if I were being cremated rather than laminated, but it's not their Frost-ing wills, now, is it?

Kiss me I'm Cyco Irish 11,324 11
03/15/2010 01:01 AM

Sounds like a 90's sitcom.

Nuh uh, it's screams 'late 1980's'

Pram 78,171 40
03/15/2010 01:19 AM

I want to injected with plastic and posed in the Smithsonian.

Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Zolton 87,649 31
03/15/2010 03:27 AM

...I've always wondered what necrophilia feels like from the dead person's perspective.

I think it's safe to assume 'rigorous'.

Brad Poynter 35,418 48
03/15/2010 03:46 AM

I want to be mummified and entombed in a pyramid made of crushed Chevys, depleted uranium, and Bondo. Inside the tomb shall be placed my AK, every issue of Penthouse ever printed, A 1978 Silver anniversary edition Corvette, 100 lb's of Lebaneese Blond Hash, A fully loaded Mountain Dew delivery truck, and 4,000 bags of Funyuns.

Or they can just dump my corpse in the river because I'll be too busy being dead to give a damn.

MungChamp 35,886 35
03/15/2010 04:21 AM

I think a family Bukakke over my corpse would be appropriate.

They can even customize the headstone: He went, we came.

the fun in dysfunctional 1,970 6
03/15/2010 05:03 AM

I'd like to be cremated and my ashes scattered during a brisk easterly wind on the beach in front of The Breakers in Palm Beach so I blow up on the windows. (That's the only way I'm going to get to stay there.)

Bill the Squirrel 53,130 53
03/15/2010 05:29 AM

What are your plans for after you have passed away?

I don't have any plans. Why? Do you want to get a couple of hookers, drink some beer and watch the game?

Shell O'Belle 76,640 24
03/15/2010 05:47 AM

Are you asking me out, Ravos? Because I'm sure I'll have some free time, in between haunting people and sitting on a cloud playing the harp. And there'd be no need to feel guilty, since I'd no longer be married.

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
03/16/2010 03:00 AM

I'm a member of the board of directors for a certain museum/non-profit foundation, and I have already illegally interred the remains of two different people on the grounds (at their request - I wasn't disposing of victims).

Since I don't want to put anyone else up to the task of doing something illegal, I'm going to be cremated, then have my ashes mixed with resin and molded into a fife, which my executors will then donate to the museum. At least my remains can then be properly labelled as such. Dogs pee where my two friends are buried.

Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Zolton 87,649 31
03/16/2010 03:05 AM

So rather than have mutts piddle on your grave, you'd prefer to have some guy take you out every so often, finger your holes while he blows you, and make sweet, sweet music.

Yep, I'd say your conversion is just about complete. That boa looks simply faboo on you, by the way.

Ravos, Ruiner of Jokes 62,361 20
03/16/2010 03:16 AM

Alternatively, I would like to be stuffed and place in a corner in the living room with an eternal look of disapproval.

Nachos 57,478 23
03/16/2010 03:27 AM

I'm a firm believer in the theory that consuming portions of your enemies allows you to take on their characteristics.

Therefore I want to be cremated and dispersed into the local water supply.

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
03/16/2010 04:44 AM

you'd prefer to have some guy take you out every so often, finger your holes while he blows you, and make sweet, sweet music.


FYI, at least half of the current crop of fife players are women. Just so you understand that I don't care who blows me, as long as someone does.

Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Zolton 87,649 31
03/16/2010 05:01 AM

At least half, eh? That's not bad. I might just consider switching over to this occasionally-blown afterlife plan you speak of.

I mean, it's no seventy-two virgins. But I could work with it.

Ravos, Ruiner of Jokes 62,361 20
03/16/2010 05:03 AM

Yea, it's more like 6 virgins when fifes are involved. And nobody else.

Big Irish Self Nipple Licker 22,212 16
03/16/2010 05:48 AM

The way I figure it, by now my body is at least 20% THC.

So I want to be stuffed into a giant water bong, and smoked by my friends untill cashed.

Big Irish Chickens 282,028 58
03/16/2010 06:28 AM

To be the most prolific poster on a comedy website.

TableTopJane 173,911 15
03/16/2010 07:03 AM

I'm not sure what I want them to do with my body after I die. I do have one request for my funeral - as people are filling out of the funeral home, I would like for Wham! to be played. I want everyone to hear "Wake me up before you go-go" as they are walking past my casket.

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
03/16/2010 08:50 AM

Just in case I've been wrong all along, as they slide my corpse into the crematorium, I want someone to play AC/DC's Highway to Hell.

Dogs Akimbo 205,285 31
03/16/2010 08:59 AM

I'd like to be reincarnated. Then I'm coming back here and clicking every Frost-ing one of my posts.

Madness 4,360 10
03/16/2010 09:14 AM

I'd like to be cremated and my carbon remains to be converted into diamonds to be set in pendants.

I will instruct my children to distribute these pendants to my old enemies in life, and when they put them on, I shall strangle them from beyond the grave with my immense zombie powers.

Big Irish Self Nipple Licker 22,212 16
03/16/2010 09:19 AM

As if.

Big Irish Self Nipple Licker 22,212 16
03/16/2010 09:25 AM

When I die I want to come back as a zombie. And tour the world with a heavy metal band as thier mascot.


.

Green Penguin 485 11
03/16/2010 09:34 AM

After I die I want to be processed into Soylent Green.

Riochtán Tástála Tuairte 3,671 9
03/16/2010 11:22 AM

I haven't really thought about it, since I don't plan to die.

Semper Fidelis Tyrannotacosaurus 61,959 36
03/16/2010 11:25 AM

Carcass detonated in a busy Japanese intersection.

McDasypygal-uncorked 12,075 15
03/16/2010 11:40 AM

I would like to be cremated then mixed into a bucket of chum.

Then all my family and friends could go fishing, catch some fish, and celebrate the scent that is me.

Eu de Snapper.

Little Scottish Ravos 62,361 20
03/16/2010 10:59 PM

Someone could also attach strings to me and have me host a popular game show for the next 40 years.

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/16/2010 11:15 PM

Two words: BodyFarm

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/16/2010 11:20 PM

I haven't really thought about it, since I don't plan to die.

If there's any justice in the world you'll drown in a pool.

Kiss me I'm Cyco Irish 11,324 11
03/17/2010 12:24 AM

I've decided I want to be turned into a cyborg. I won't be able to live forever but look at Dick Clark, he died back in the 70's and is just now starting to break down. Think of how long you can live with the technology today.

Small Swedish Pram 78,171 40
03/17/2010 01:34 AM

Changed my mind. When I go, I want to be a crash test dummy.

Big Irish Manhole 20,243 26
03/17/2010 01:45 AM

I want people to hide my body where no one will ever find it, then spread a rumor that I rose from the dead.

BEHOLD MY GLORY!!!!

Small Swedish Pram 78,171 40
03/17/2010 02:01 AM

OOOH, OOOH! Another thing I would like to try, is to be hoisted up on a breaking wheel and having every bone in my body shattered with a big stick. Then it would be super cool to have vultures peck at my eyes as I squirm like a human worm.

This would be a separate death, requiring a time machine so that multiple deaths are possible.

McDasypygal-uncorked 12,075 15
03/17/2010 11:38 AM

Small Swedish Pram 53,077 9
03/17/2010 10:34 AM
Changed my mind. When I go, I want to be a crash test dummy


You won't last long if Toyota uses you.

Sir Buck 10 5
03/17/2010 11:51 AM

When i die i want to be able to look down upon earth and throw skittles at everyone.